``Give the Anarchist a cigarette, give the Anarchist a cigarette,

Nothing ever burns down by itself, every fire needs a little bit of help.''

Chumbawamba, stolen from Tony Dickinson's subszine The Asylum Zone in Kim Head's szine Life Rich Pageant.

Yes, the szine is late again. We also have a UPS strike that seems to be affecting mail delivery, so I have no idea when the post will deliver this to you. I want to try to stick to the deadlines to fit into my August/September schedule. If you get this late, please try to get your orders in as soon as you can for next issue. On the other hand, this is one of my largest and most interesting issues ever! There is lots to read here!! So, better late than never, and better read than dead!!! Let's have at it...

The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada. You can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). The current game opening for Colonial Diplomacy will start as soon as I get money from seven players since Nekayah has now ended. For more on this, see below. Also note that more results for the demo game are included. Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! Note that everything has been moved to the diplom.org site. See David's letter below. The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the devel.diplom.org machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to the present are available via anonymous FTP from ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin ap131.ps.Z and go sequentially from there. Since it's UNIX based, all of those upper and lower cases are important. If anyone wants help from me on doing this, they only have to ask and I can help you determine if you have access to FTP which stands for File Transfer Protocol and can handle postscript files. The Caltech site is at:

ftp://ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu/pub/diplomacy/WWW/

or check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch at its brand new address with all of the information you would need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch

In addition, through Jamie McQuinn's portion of the Pouch, or directly through:

http://devel.diplom.org/pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP/

you can access the mirror site to Caltech and get to the szine that way.

In a relatively NEW development, the szine also is available as a PDF file, readable with Adobe Acrobat's free reader. If you already have Adobe's reader on your computer, you can E-Mail me for a copy. I started the test last issue and am continuing to have some technical difficulties with it, so I'm still in test mode. Basically, the file is printing fine, but it is hard to read on the screen. I am working with the experts at Adobe to try to solve this problem. If it makes you feel any better, we are having the same problem on the professional Adobe electronic journal that I co-edit and solving that problem has ``real'' implications, so be sure that I am trying to do so. Any of you who have NOT E-Mailed me about this test can still do so. After I test this for a bit, I will have TWO E-Mail subscription lists so you can choose PDF file, TeX source file, or both at your leisure.

Doug Beyerlein (Thu, 17 Jul 1997 21:24:00 -0500 (CDT))

Jim, Your recent search for Jerry Lucas and story of Judy Winsome brought back memories of how Brenton Ver Ploeg and I were the first in the hobby to make a positive connection between the two.

I don't remember the exact dates, but it was back in the early 80s when Marie and I were living in the San Francisco Bay Area and I was still playing Diplomacy. Every year Brenton Ver Ploeg would come into town to recruit Stanford Law School graduates for his law firm in Miami. I knew Brenton from the early 70s when he published Platypus Pie while a law school student in San Francisco and the two of us were playing in the second Hoosier Archives game (which Brenton won after stabbing me, but that's another story).

On this occasion Brenton took Marie and I out to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. For some reason, long since forgotten, Brenton, although no longer active in the postal hobby, was very interested in finding out who Judy Winsome really was. There were rumors that Judy was really a male Diplomacy player/publisher, but no one knew who. Due to Judy's Mountain View, California, address there was speculation that Judy was actually Conrad von Metzke (an unlikely suspect because Conrad lived in San Diego, some 500 miles away) or even myself (more likely since I lived in Menlo Park and worked in Mountain View at the time).

Anyway, Brenton thought that I knew or might know Judy's true identity. I didn't. However, the address Judy was using for her zine, Winsome Losesome, was in Mountain View, near where we were having dinner. So after dinner the three of us decided to pay Judy an unannounced visit. We drove to Judy's address, an apartment complex in Mountain View, and rang the door bell. A young woman of Asian descent answered the door. Brenton asked for Judy. The young woman (whose name I don't remember) looked like she had just seen a ghost. She was obviously a front for Judy Winsome, but until this very moment it had never crossed her mind that somebody someday would come knocking on her door asking for Judy. She tried to recover by making up some story about why Judy wasn't there, but Brenton would have nothing of it.

If it had just been me talking to this woman the story would have probably ended there and I still would not have known who Judy was. But Brenton, an excellent Diplomacy player and lawyer, wasn't going to stop there. Somehow he convinced this young woman to let three strangers into her apartment to talk about Judy. Following some conversation (mostly about Brenton's choice of cars and why he drove a Nissan 240SX) the young woman made a phone call. The person on the other end of the phone was either Judy or a co-conspirator. The only name overheard was that of BJ, but who was BJ? Finally Brenton was allowed to speak the person on the other end of the phone, who turned out to be a woman and claimed to be Judy. I remember the conversation to be brief and when it was finished Brenton knew no more about Judy than when we first started out on this quest earlier in the evening.

Brenton returned to Miami defeated. I told him that I would pursue the matter, but in reality I had no idea of how to proceed. Then, a few weeks later and for reasons that I don't remember, I gave Jerry Lucas a call. Jerry lived in Redwood City, just north of Menlo Park and Mountain View, on the San Francisco Peninsula. He played postal Diplomacy, but our paths had never crossed during my time in the Bay Area. After talking on the phone about Diplomacy he invited me up to his place for a visit. I accepted and the next Saturday drove about five miles from my house to his. We had an enjoyable chat about the hobby, although nothing particularly memorable. But before I left his wife came home; Jerry introduced me to her, and her name was BJ. I quickly put two and two together and came to the conclusion that Jerry was Judy.

When I got home I quickly told Brenton the news. I never mentioned to Jerry that I had discovered his secret, but he must have known that the jig was up, for it wasn't long afterwards that Judy admitted in her zine that her true identity was Jerry Lucas.

Interestingly enough, that was the last time I heard from Brenton and I don't think that I ever saw Jerry again. I quit the Diplomacy hobby in May 1986 (another story) and then at the end of that year Marie and I moved back up to the Seattle area.

I hope that someone finds Jerry, and Brenton Ver Ploeg, too, for that matter. ((I'm sure Brenton could easily be found. He is still an attorney in the Miami area, I believe. Last I heard from him was a few years ago in a news story about a lawsuit that alleged psychic Uri Geller filed against a publisher who published a series of books that included detailed descriptions of how Uri defrauded his audiences. As I recall, Uri wanted a public apology and a million dollars. The suit was dismissed as frivolous and I think they had to countersue to get Uri to pay the publisher's court costs. It was the beginning of the end of his career. You don't hear much about Uri Geller anymore. Anyway, Brenton was defending the book publisher and in the news story I read he was quoted as saying something like, ``I guess Uri's psychic powers weren't able to predict his success at lawsuits very well.''))

PS. Yes, I will be at DipCon.

((Thanks very much for that reminiscence. I'd never heard that story before. Come on, someone find Jerry!!))

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Mike Mills or Garret Schenck is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him. The next person will be announced in Issue #195 and will be an extra special person to lead up to my 200th issue. Watch for it.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 30 Poynter Road, Bush Hill Park, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 1DL, UK (johnh of fiendishgames.demon.co.uk). The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Obviously, I'm not anywhere close to getting back around to doing international szine reviews, but who knows, I might pick it up again at any time. I actively am searching for more international traders.

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The following have been nominated by the Hobby Awards Committee. The Committee consists of Melinda Holley (Chair), Gary Behnen, Fred Davis, Manus Hand, Rob Lesco, Dave McCrumb, Brad Wilson and Andy York.

Don Miller Award (for Hobby Service)

Jim Burgess - zine publisher and US director of ISE

Paul Kenny - zine publisher and US orphan service director

Doug Kent - zine publisher and PDORA chairman

Michael Lowrey - zine publisher and Zine Register publisher

Andy York - former BNC and publisher of Pontevedra

Rod Walker Award (for Literature)

Stephen Agar - ``Driving a Juggernaut" - Diplomacy World #78

Brian Cannon - ``Caution - Used and Abused/Part II" - DW #79

Mark Fassio - ``Bait and Switch Diplomacy" - DW #80

Larry Peery - ``Open Your Dots and Say Aah" - DW #78

Conrad von Metzke - ``By a Whisker" - DW #80

Fred Hyatt Award (for best GM)

Rob Acheson

Andy Lischett Conrad von Metzke Andy York Eric Young

John Köning Award (for best player)

Teresa Armstrong

Frank Easton

Mike Gonsalves

Doug Kent

Andy York

Signed:

Votes will be accepted through September 20, 1997. Please SNAIL MAIL all ballots to: Melinda Holley, 1823 Enslow Blvd., Huntington, WV, USA, 25701. Remember to sign your ballots!!

((I corrected some egregious spelling errors in the version of the ballot that I received which I dearly hope does not affect the balloting. The Hobby Awards are entirely positive in nature and thus I support them enthusiastically. Please vote!! Good luck to all the candidates!!))

((Also, some real hobby news taken from various szines:))

- Paul Kenny reports that John Boardman reports that Chris Carrier died of a heart attack on June 17. While many of us (me included) had our doubts about some of Chris' motives, he was a talented writer and I liked him when he wasn't way out on the limb.

- Alex Richardson is one of my favorite pubbers and Stephen Agar reports that Alex is unemployed and tight on funds, so he is saving money by running his games separately from the szine. As Alex well knows, I'll keep sending him this szine through thick and thin and trust him to catch up with me when he can. I'll let you know when Obsidian is available regularly again.

((Yes, my 1996 list finally appears below. That will signal the end of me talking about it up here, but anyone is welcome to chime in with any sorts of music reviews they like whenever they like. So, my list should jumpstart you!!))

The ``Brilliant'' Five - Including best concerts of the year

It could be argued by me that these are my five most favorite modern recording artists at the moment, and they all came out with brilliant 1996 releases.

The Mekons and Kathy Acker, Pussy, King of the Pirates (Quarterstick): I'm not sure if this act went on the road last year, if it did (and I'm pretty sure it did somewhere) I didn't hear about it. My imagination was able to translate it into a great live show, even if I didn't see it. But a great shame that I didn't.... This album's first song begins with the words ``The whole rotten world come down and break, the moon equals cracks in my cunt.'' As if it didn't need saying, this is a hard and at times difficult album to listen to. Kathy Acker has a novel of the same name and she wrote all the words and the greatest rock and roll band in the world holds up the standard by writing and playing all of the music. What, you don't believe that the Mekons are the greatest rock and roll band there is? This collaboration is made in hell and the result proves it by being transcendent in all senses of the word. I certainly can't recommend this to everyone, in fact I might not be able to recommend it to anyone; however, you cannot help but have a reaction to this recording. I can't describe it, you'll have to buy it and listen to it if you dare! Attempting to describe the Mekons' cultish combination of completely sincere leftist politics, personal freedom, quirky musicianship, and spot on rock and roll instincts so that you could imagine what you'd be listening to is not possible. If you're not familiar with the band already, in fact, I can't imagine how you would get into this album. Kathy Acker is well known in her own strange way, although I am not all that well versed in her. I've never read any of her books, which are published by Grove Press, including the one of the same title on which this is based. For me, that didn't make the record any less memorable or any less comprehensible. If these lyrics were written by a man, he'd probably be run down and strung up, but they aren't. What else can I say? I'll just end the review as the record ends, with the ``Prayer for all Sailors'':

``Halycons shall cease to prey on fish, Poisonous leaves become our food,

Be you sailors without remorse, For lips have been stained in blood.''

Stereolab, Emperor Tomato Ketchup (Elektra): Although I've always liked Stereolab and their newest release probably was pretty much guaranteed of making this list anyway, this CD really blew me away with the range of musical growth and variety, without losing the child-like charm that they've always had. [I've heard pre-release publicity that this year's confection will be taking another broad step in that leap.] As I mentioned last year, when Stereolab came through town, I missed the show. As I'm writing this review I wish I had gone so that I could balance out each of these reviews with live discussions as well. Nevertheless, Stereolab produces most of its records by seamless sampling techniques that are not easily reproduced on stage. They do NOT just put their machines on stage and let them play but try to recreate the songs that the studio created. This album actually has more side players than any of their previous records. ``Metronomic Underground'' has a claustrophobic feeling along with the Glass-like shifting metronome qualities that make the song title perfectly descriptive. Still, this fits pretty well into the oeuvre along with the second song which is a classic Stereolab Laetitia Sadier French vocal confection called ``Cybele's Reverie'' and doesn't at all signal the shifting styles that are to follow. ``Percolator'' also is in French, but is a bit more edgy (with a prominent saxophone part!) than what they usually do and starts to raise the tension that is lulled by a couple of mixed English/French duets between Sadier and Mary Hansen. Then comes a stunning song with the odd name of ``OLV 26'' that, although mostly in French, clearly brings across its message that paradise imagined is our own worst enemy. Expectations.... ``The Noise of Carpet'' is almost a GUITAR song! Amazing! The claustrophobic feeling that begins the CD is now completely released. Most of these first songs were recorded in London, but most of the album after this was recorded in Chicago with different guests and it shows. ``Tomorrow is Already Here'' has maracas and tambourines that really add rhythm to the sound. ``Originally this set up was to serve society now; the roles have been reversed that want society to serve the institutions - originally, serve society, serve society, roles have been reversed, institutions, alienation.'' Simple but really powerful. So this is almost a concept album of a rather weird sort. Now we are ready for the title cut. Starting with a repetitive backbeat flavored introduction that is OVER a minute long, a fugal duet ensues that is still powered by the backbeat. Finally, Laetitia powers things forward with her best angelic over the top voice until the backbeat pounds us to a conclusion. Whew. ``Monster Sacre'' provides the needed break with string arrangements that remind me of Adrian Belew's guitar style in super slow motion. Then, of course, we take off with a sixties tinged ``Motoroller Scalatron'' with lots of funky farfisa organ! ``Slow Fast Hazel'' pounds you in the head with Stereolab's fundamental forward thinking approach - this electronic music has been released and you can't put it back in the cage (hyork, hyork, hyork...). I think that's more crucial to Stereolab than the much vaunted ``communist thinking'' that I don't find to be all that pervasive. Now we're ready to be moved to conclusion with ``Anonymous Collective'' that feels like Stereolab is speaking to each of us personally, as all of us acknowledged in the collective. That sort of vague socialism is more the tenor of the band. What a song. Wow. Of course, ``Lo Boob Oscillator'' is still the unofficial official Stereolab song for the szine for obvious reasons and I don't like emperors, tomatoes, or ketchup all that much, but another neat album, their best yet in my view, and that's saying something.

Los Lobos, Colossal Head (Warner Bros.): Even more than Stereolab, this album is a brilliant departure for one of the great roots rock bands of the last two decades. The band members have spent much of the last couple of years producing other bands. For this one they pull in the sublime Mitchell Froom and someone named Tchad Blake to help them produce a varied masterpiece. From the edginess of ``Mas Y Mas'' to the uptown cool of ``Maricola'' they mine hispanic cocktail, blues, and their trademark Mexican roots to brilliant effect. There are fierce backbeats, refried vocals, and sensitive guitar work mixed up in really interesting ways. I was really stunned by this record, which is hard since I have such high respect for the wolves. Although I missed them on tour for this, I would highly recommend their live shows. Cesar Rojas is a brilliant understated showman and roots music is best heard live with a beer anyway. There are no liner notes, so I don't know who did what, but the parts that are produced to crystal clarity show Froom's influence while weirdos like ``Life Is Good'' must be driven by ideas from Blake. ``Ooooh, la, la!'' The blues have a delta tinge and great sexy tenor sax lines to them in songs like ``Manny's Bones'' that really shake. The title cut mixes some of the same kind of feeling with a smooth driving repeated bass line that grabs you and won't let you go. They end up appropriately with a ``Buddy Ebsen Loves the Night Time'' that just lulls you away into the night and then just cuts off abruptly! Wowee!! If you like this sort of music, you have to have this one.

Combustible Edison, Schizophonic! (Sub Pop): As far as I am concerned, these guys are the unquestioned leaders of the cocktail pop revival. I gotta tell you about this CD in the context of the live show I saw them at last year. Though I've seen them here in Providence where they are based, this was while I was in DC, at DC's famous Club 930. If you knew the club in the old days (and I've been going there off and on since the early 80's) they've moved to a bigger, better location recently. Of course, their name is now a bit superfluous, but who cares. There is no better way to watch the Edison than with a martini, dry and shaken, not stirred! And that's just what they had set up. I've never really had martinis before, but wow, I should have known that I would love them. I can see how they were popular in the 60's. Also, ya gotta ``dress for the band'' which freaked some of the regulars out. Do you have to ask what you wear to a chic cocktail party?? And dancing to this stuff! We just had to have lots of fun with that! Peter Dixon is really, really serious on stage and our wild dancing finally cracked him up, the first time I've ever seen him crack a smile! ``One Eyed Monkey'' is a party animal's delight!! And ``Les Yeux Sans Visage'' is part Munsters, part waltz, and part circus tent - you can just imagine what we did with that!! Leaders Miss Lily Banquette and Nick Cudahy, of course, fed into our fun pretty quickly. They also are staples of the local Providence scene. Michael ``The Millionaire'' Cudahy has said of his home city, ``Providence is one of the least likely places in America. It's all wrong and undiscovered.'' Precisely, I couldn't agree more and so I love living here. Anyway, lots of people don't know what to make of Combustible Edison, but I was there with a bunch of friends who knew EXACTLY what was coming and a couple of other REALLY weird guys had us all ready to go. Nearly all of the dancing was by the guys (with a couple of quite notable exceptions!) which should tell you something right there. Then again, I'm not sure what it tells you... Anyway, this album is lighter and also more punchy than their previous work. ``A dog returns to his master...'' in ``52'' which really convinces you that ``too much luck is bad luck.'' Nope, not on this album. Marc Gascoigne finally gets his prize of a copy of this album as I mail out this issue. Hope you enjoy it, Marc.

Richard Thompson, You? Me? Us? (Capitol): Well, we might have saved what may be the best for last, believe it or not. Since all four of the previous four mentioned records are so good, that's difficult, but this is twice as much music since it's a two CD set. Ghod does not know how to make a bad album, especially since he has improved his singing voice in the 90's. Looking up at this list of five, it really is a stunning set of music that 1996 produced. At least I like this stuff. The two CD set features one CD ``nude'' and one ``voltage enhanced''. Both are great. In what will grow to be a continuing theme, Mitchell Froom and Tchad Blake produce, and play keyboard and guitar respectively. Danny Thompson accompanies Richard on acoustic bass on the ``nude'' side, other than ``Razor Dance'' where Blake chips in. ``Razor Dance'' was the big surprise since it really moves, but manages to bowl you over even in the acoustic format. On the other side, usual helper Simon Nicol and a talented group of backers form a great band. Most of this band is what I saw on tour last year as my favorite concert of the year at the rebuilt Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel. Wow, Nicol and Ghod do a fabulous ``Wall of Death''. That still might be my favorite Thompson song. It signifies, both lyrically and musically, nearly everything that music is about for me in this genre. On this CD, all the songs of which sounded aces in concert, you have the poignancy in songs like ``Train Don't Leave'' and ``Sam Jones'' to the sorrow of songs like ``She Cut Off Her Long Silken Hair''. And then you have the hilarious irony of ``Bank Vault In Heaven'' and the dancing power of ``Razor Dance'' on the ``Voltage Enhanced'' side. Yes, it appears on BOTH sides! I love this kind of music and Thompson is best at it, so it is no surprise that this CD appears here, although I realize some of you aren't as thrilled with Ghod as I am. I will spare you more bootlicking and just say that's tough, keep those folkies coming! Given that, why don't we move on to some others in that genre....

The Electric Folkies Come Through With Solid Efforts: Suzanne Vega and Billy Bragg produced CDs this year that I really enjoyed. Suzanne's Nine Objects of Desire (A&M) ALSO was produced by Mitchell Froom and Tchad Blake, so apparently these two guys work together a lot. Suzanne wrote nearly everything on the album, except where she was assisted by Froom. The stylistic continuity makes the CD a great ``listen through''. Two of my favorite backing instrumentalists are also here. Jerry Marotta provides drums throughout, and Jane Scarpantoni blissfully strings us along with her cello on a few choice cuts like ``My Favorite Plum'' and ``No Cheap Thrill''. Billy Bragg's William Bloke (Elektra) continues his mix of rockers, protest songs, and celtic blues. Some of the subjects are genuinely weird, like ``A Pict Song'' about the First Century Roman invasion of Britain. Others are in outer space, like his lament of the end of exciting space exploration, ``The Space Race Is Over''. Music ranges from Billy all by himself or just with a Hammond organ, to full band numbers. These were the best two folk rocker records I heard last year, other than Ghod's contribution, though I'm sure real experts like Pete Duxon might have other ideas.

The Long Awaited Ska Comeback: Did you go wild for the Specials? Ga-Ga over the English Beat?? Was ``Our House'' your house??? If so, the recent re-explosion of ska probably is a welcome surprise. In my circle of musical acquaintances, the wake up call came from a record that has a 1995 copyright date, but that I SWEAR you couldn't get until 1996, since I was trying and trying to get it for a long time after ``Superniceguys'' appeared on an anthology. The name of the group is Undercover S. K. A. The record is called We've Come For Your Daughter (Solo Productions) and it is an ESSENTIAL record. ``We're superniceguys, we're super friendly, we'll buy the dinner and the wine, talk about love all the time. We'd never hurt a soul, unless you told us to. Unlike all those other guys, we're sensitive, we often cry. We'll never think of ourselves, only you, just you.'' Ya gotta listen to this! They also thank Richard Weiss faves Skankin' Pickle in addition to John Lennon and Jesus Christ. How can you go wrong??? The other song that you just HAVE to hear here is ``If Wolfy Were Alive He'd Be Playing in a Ska Band.'' Lyrics in here include classics like: ``The Mozart Reggae got the Deutschland rasta beat''! and ``Work like a German to make Ska Pay''! This one stands head and shoulders above, but two other great ska CD's from last year were The Toasters ' Hard Band For Dead (Moon/Ska) and Isaac Green and the Skalars and their Skoolin' with the Skalars (Moon/Ska). This stuff is just great fun. The Toasters do ``Secret Agent Man'' and songs titled ``Maxwell Smart'' and ``Chuck Berry''. How can you go wrong?? The Skalars big thing is a beltin' female sax section of Jessica Butler on alto sax, Michelle Ray on baritone, and Amy Scherer on tenor. Isaac contributes shrieks and shouts. I've always liked ska, but I really like it now.

Golden Oldies Produce More Great Music: Jonathan Richman and Graham Parker have been toiling in relative obscurity for some time now but they keep going on producing records. Their 1996 efforts, Surrender to Jonathan (Vapor) and Acid Bubblegum (Razor and Tie), respectively, continue their indie label efforts of recent years in fine style. Stellar highpoints of Jonathan's latest effort are ``I Was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar'' and ``Rock `n' Roll Drummer Straight from the Hospy-Tel''. You can just imagine how he rhymes that last one... OK, OK, I surrender! I'm not sure how both of these guys keep managing to stay in business. Parker appears to be a bit more on the brink. Help the guy out. Order this recording at 1-800-443-3555!! He says: ``This has been a g. p. production for Desperate `Career' Moves, Inc., A five monkeys joint.'' Graham is still producing smooth, solid rock and roll. He still has that knack for shifting choruses like this one from ``Bubblegum Cancer'': ``It was Bubblegum Cancer, So sweet so rotten, Bubblegum Cancer, no fruit on the bottom'' to ``Bubblegum Cancer, So pink so black, Bubblegum Cancer, Big stink under the shrink wrap. Yeah'' to ``Bubblegum Cancer, So faux so real, Bubblegum Cancer, So phony you can't feel it.'' In the pantheon of nearly totally ignored Parker records of the 90's, I think I like this one the best. Hey, Dickie poo, if you don't have this one yet, go fetch!

The Crafty Songsters: When the history of 20th century songwriting is written, three names will shine as true originals. One of them, who has gone far beyond early comparisons to the aforementioned Graham Parker is Elvis Costello. Though his songwriting has been as good as ever, our boy Declan has been taken for granted by most of us, me included, in the 90's. On All That Useless Beauty (Warner Bros.) Costello does a couple of things to wake me up. First, he really MAKES this album with Attractions Pete Thomas (drums), Steve Nieve (keyboards), and Bruce Thomas (bass). There are no backup bands in the history of rock and roll that I can think of who make such seamless connections to their front man/songwriter as this bunch. While they've been hanging around on other recent Costello albums, you can really feel them here. Costello also seems cognizant of these issues with songs like: ``Why Can't a Man Stand Alone'' (although this song is also a well stated gender reversal on the old theme), ``The Other End of the Telescope'', ``Starting to Come To Me'', and the title cut. He also continues his collaboration with the Brodsky String Quartet on ``I Want to Vanish'' and this works better on just a single song. It's also the last song on the album, so finally, it also seems to be a lament on Cait O'Riordan. I'm not sure I entirely understand the context, but this clearly is a very open, personal album. It is dedicated to ``Dr. O'Riordan''. From the plaintive unaccompanied cry at the beginning, ``Shall we agree that just this once, I'm going to change my life, Until it's just as tiny or important as you like'' to the minor keyed, slow paced, poignant ending, ``How can I tell you I'm rarer than most, I'm certain as a lost dog pondering a signpost, I want to vanish, I've given you the awful truth, Now give me my rest.''

The other two songwriters appear on one of those ``tribute'' albums as Van Morrison pays tribute to Mose Allison. Tell Me Something: The Songs of Mose Allison (Verve) is a recording that Mose Allison lovers will have to have. Van Morrison's sense of the blues always has had obvious beginnings in Allison songs like ``You Can Count On Me (To Do My Part)''. Morrison does some slippery harmonica to go along with his vocals on that one. Van Morrison's voice is just perfect for this music too, assisted by Ben Sidran, Georgie Fame, and finally on two of the later songs in the set by Mose himself. The title cut features a sensuous solo by tenor sax player Pee Wee Ellis and those classic Allison lyrics, ``You're on a one way street, Your life is incomplete, Well, tell me something that I don't know.'' The choice of songs is not a ``greatest hits'' selection by any means (e. g. ``Your Mind's on Vacation'' does not appear here), if you want Allison doing those, I recommend his live recording at the 1982 Montreux Jazz Festival with Jack Bruce and Billy Cobham on Elektra/Asylum. No, here the focus is on the early bluesy songs like ``One of These Days'' which show that Allison was as great a blues writer The album ends with Morrison and Allison perfectly intertwined underneath Allison's piano singing, ``One such perfect moment, Never twice th' same, Such a perfect moment, Will keep you in th' game.'' Here's to hoping that Mose stays in the game for a long, long time yet.

Anthology of the Year: Green Linnet's The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (Green Linnet, of course) wins it hands down and going away. There are no less than 38 songs on this 2-CD set. From Séamus Ennis' spoken storytelling in ``The Rainy Day/First You Must Learn the Grip'' taken from the very first Green Linnet release to a brand new release of a 1978 live recording of the Bothy Band's ``A Jig and Five Reels (The Leitrim Fancy/Around the World for Sport/Rip the Calico/Martin Wynne's/The Enchanted Lady/The Holy Land)'' This live recording is a great encore finish to the entire set as the crowd reactions help drive things through. Ennis' explanation of how you must ``learn the grip'' is also a classic. One of the great highlights is Dick Gaughan singing Phil Colclough's ``Song for Ireland'' as Gaughan's perfect brogue skips and vibrato illustrates the sadness and the strength of this song perfectly. Of course Silly Wizard and Andy M. Stewart's ``Lover's Heart'' are here along with Johnny Cunningham's fiddle hooking up with Kevin Burke and Christian Lemaitre on French Canadian fiddle tunes ``The Dionne Reel/Mouth of the Tobique''. The Cunningham's also play and produce for Relativity's ``There Was a Lady'' which features Triona Ni Dhomhnaill's exquisite vocals. Speaking of another moving vocalist, June Tabor also gets on here with ``No Man's Land/Flowers of the Forest''. The first tune is the old Eric Bogle anti-war anthem and the latter has the famous refrain ``Beat the drum slowly''; however, the heavily synthesized background sounds a bit out of place at times. Yet, it's still a great set and after it finally fades away The House Band comes up with the Richard Thompson tune ``Pharaoh'' that June Tabor also does in concert and you're swept back into the past again. Of course you have to enjoy the Celtic traditional music in order to care, and my wife doesn't for example, but this is a great set of selections so seek it out!

A Notable ``Classical'' Crossover Records with Short Discussion of the Current State of the World: Philip Glass has taken the music of David Bowie and Brian Eno into his own inimitable style to create ``Heroes'' Symphony (Point Music). There are a few classics in the world of meshing symphonic music to pop music. This may be one of them and the ``choice'' of the 90's. Some of the records that come to my mind are the output of the New York Rock and Roll Ensemble (who birthed film score composer Michael Kamen and was the highlight of the 1970's in this genre), ABC's The Lexicon of Love (which made the New Wave/80's pick), Casino Royale: Original Soundtrack by Burt Bacharach, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, and the incomparable Dusty Springfield (the 60's choice, natch, silly? Perhaps, but essential). Dennis Russell Davies conducts the American Composers Orchestra and they do a great job of realization. I don't have the earlier similar ``Low'' Symphony, so I'm not sure how it compares, but Glass is better than he's been before and the Eno/Bowie music is better in this medium than the earlier synthesized material (1977) on which this is based. To me, it sounds more like Glass than Eno/Bowie and I find that congenial. This is not earthshattering music; however, it is both pleasing and interesting to listen to. There also is a smooth dance feel as it was written with a Twyla Tharp ballet in mind. I haven't heard if such a ballet has premiered yet, but it probably has by now.

I don't usually review classical records per se, since I buy so little of what is released in the year in which it was made. There was a very fine Slatkin of three of Haydn's late symphonies (#96 [Miracle], #102, and #103 [Drum Roll]) with the Philharmonia Orchestra among my 1996 copyright purchases, but I don't have enough to make definitive statements. I have one general comment on the explosive growth in early music in the last few years and during 1996 in particular. Sanctus: Meditations for the Soul (Archiv) combines music from Desprez, Palestrina, Monteverdi, Byrd, and other 16th and 17th century composers into a record designed to sell large numbers, at least in the classical vein. Basically, great! I had the chance to sing in choirs twice in 1996 conducted by Fred Jodry, who is the founder and director of the Schola Cantorum of Boston, which specializes in this music. Working with him deepened my already existing sense of fun AND spirituality in this music. My recording sense of this goes back as far as old Noah Greenberg recordings with NY Pro Musica, which I first heard in the 1970's. In the 70's, of course, it was David Munroe, Nikolaus Harnoncourt, and Gustav Leonhardt. But the new movement really pushes the earlier Renaissance music. Funny how these things happen. Anyway, I'm glad it has.

A Couple of Early Thoughts on 1997: I want to be brief here, but take note that pop superstars Blur and Radiohead have produced the most impressive pop records to me thus far this year. Blur has always been my favorite in the ``growing tiresome'' debate between Blur and Oasis and their latest is solidifying them in that place for me. Among the Brits, where the great pop music almost exclusively is being made, Radiohead's OK Computer to my mind has taken it from the level of pleasant mind candy to REAL music. ``Paranoid Android'' and ``Karma Police'' are good examples. They go on for around five minutes, longer than your basic one hook pop song can maintain, they have furious energy, and a nearly impenetrable depth that rewards repeated listenings. I'll surely have more to say about both records in my 1997 list which I want to appear in Issue #200.

Honorable Mention and Backwaters: The part of the guitar revival of the late 80's that never really broke through into the general consciousness, partly buried by REM's overweening presence partly buried by their own excesses, still lingers on in recording and in the memory. An example of the excess is the Loud Family's Interbabe Concern (Alias). Scott Miller seems to have realized how his voice over an entire album tends to grate on the listener: ``most guitar and vocals which, of the three, ((who sing)) one tires of listening to the earliest.'' In another dig at himself, he also admits to using Vidal Sassoon Stylist Choice B Shampoo. But none of that newfound humility stops him from singing his way through most of the album, except for a few not totally talented excerpts such as a guest shot from someone named Nina Gordon. Scott's underlying sexism that always has undermined his music is retained as in addition to Nina he uses an untalented drummer named Dawn Richardson. He likes to play with women and he likes to play with women. He just doesn't respect them. The excesses continue with Scott's guitar as lots of feedback tinged riffs and annoying audio effects that come out of boys noodling in the studio attempt to balance gently sweet strumming and stunning harmonies. This is taken to such an extreme that at times the CD is unlistenable because it isn't tough enough to be hard nor soft enough for pleasant background listening. Still, there are some really good songs buried in here. One of them is ``I'm Not Really a Spring'' which brilliantly mixes minor harmonies, better drumming from Gil Ray, and some really good self-ironic commentary from Scott. Another one, also solo-penned by Miller, is ``Screwed Over by Stylish Introverts'' which is the only song here that I found balanced some well placed edgy audio effects with the basic sweetness of the song. Then, as always, Scott allows a talented sidekick to come forward on ``Uncle Lucky'' which isn't earthshattering, but more songs like these would have helped the CD have better balance. Oh well, I've probably gone on far too long on what really is more of an oddity than anything I would expect any of you to buy.

Another side of this guitar revival came out in younger bands like the Boo Radleys, who are starting to show signs of the stress that comes from not ``making it''. This year the Radleys themselves came out with a nearly unlistenable turkey, although vocalist Sice cracked open a nascent solo door as the Eggman and produced a record called First Fruits (Creation Records). All of these birthing allusions nonwithstanding, this sounds like a good (but not great) Boo Radleys album. Of course, with Sice singing all of the vocals, this is not that great a surprise. Sice also demonstrates a reasonable facility with the guitar. Still, this is depressing since I believe it signals an impending Boo Radleys breakup and while Sice manages a decent debut, it isn't the kind of brilliance represented by Wake Up!.

On yet another side of that movement lies Marti Jones and Don Dixon which is decisively opposing in just about every possible way you can imagine for three CD's coming out of the same subgenre. You never get tired of listening to Marti's voice and Don Dixon buries himself in the credits and calls it Marti's album. Also this is actually live with real listeners! Live at Spirit Square (Sugar Hill) to be exact and it is a pleasant spiritual experience. Don Dixon wrote or co-wrote about half of the songs. You also get Marti's folksy stage banter which actually is pleasant instead of arrogant. Unlike lots of the members of this group (in addition to Miller, Richard Barone comes to mind whose record Drums Along the Hudson with the Bongos remains one of my favorite pop albums of the 1980's), they retain their senses of humor and affection for their audiences. Bitterness is nowhere to be found. It makes no bones about being pleasant pop music either. Bouncy Dixon/Jones numbers like ``Tourist Town'' and ``I've Got Second Sight'' remind me again why I thought the hits from this subgenre belonged on the radio in front of larger audiences. The version of ``Any Kind of Lie'' here is particularly sweet and the one of ``Living Inside the Wind'' particularly kicks ass. On some of the covers, the band and Marti really shine. The John Hiatt and Bland Simpson songs bring out the country side of the band. Loudon Wainwright III's ``Old Friend'' really exercises the alto range of Marti's register and Elvis Costello's ``Just a Memory'' exercises Dixon's bass chops. The nineteen pleasantly delivered songs end with a very warm and fuzzy ``Inside These Arms''. And that warm and fuzzy feeling is a good way to end this whole thing. We'll see you next time. Comments and other music talk is more than welcome as always.

Mark Kinney (Fri, 18 Jul 1997 01:35:46 -0400 (EDT))

Well, I've managed to drop off the face of the earth again. Let's see, first off: new LoN within the next week (after a convention I'm going to this weekend)... don't know about folding yet, may conver to a subxine somewhere. If so, it sure as hell won't be named after any failed organizations or sunken ships or any such things. We'll see.

Now, the important stuff: The Pogues! :-)

The first thing I found in my Pogues quest was Poguetry In Motion. ((Not a bad start, though!)) Then, by total luck, I found there the next week a tape of Rum, Sodomy & The Lash. I was doing good, so I though.

Then I found the import bin. Red Roses For Me and Rum... on CD! Plus others. I haven't got Hell's Ditch yet, but I'm working on it, and will eventually have all the albums except the last two. I also found a CD by Shane MacGowan's new group, the Popes, which I had something akin to an allergic reaction to at first, but I got used to it after a while. ((Yeah, in the end I decided it didn't make my list above though.))

Levellers: My rating for the albums? Levelling The Land was the best. A Weapon Called The Word came in second, followed by Levellers, and Zeitgeist comes in last. I still don't really grok it, I suppose. ((I think I might agree with that preference ordering.))

Anyway, just a quick update. Politically Incorrect is coming on. :-)

Rich Goranson (Tue, 5 Aug 1997 11:38:48 -0400 (EDT))

Jim-Bob: There was something in TAP #192 that I felt I just had to jump on...the discussion on Maris' record. One thing that we never take into account is the conditions of the home ballpark that every player has to endure. Take the following list: Ruth, Maris, McGwire, Tino Martinez, Griffey Jr. What is the one player that has to work in the most difficult situation; the one that has his power totals cut dramatically by his park? It is McGwire. Ruth, Maris, Martinez, and Griffey are all left handed hitters that play in parks that DRAMATICALLY increase the home run totals of all lefties. McGwire is a right handed hitter that for his entire career has played in one of the best pitchers parks in the American League and was just traded to a team that plays in one of the best pitchers parks in the National League. If McGwire had ever played in a place that would help him (like Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego, or [Allah, forbid] Coors Field in Denver, Maris' record would be a long forgotten memory. This pendulum swings both ways. By far the best two starting pitchers of recent times have been Roger Clemens and Greg Maddux. The two have led their leagues countless times in ERA despite playing in great hitters parks. The Red Sox thought Clemens was finished, but when he was transfered to a team which has a relatively neutral park (SkyDome favours the pitcher slightly when the roof is open and the hitter slightly when closed) he instantaneously becomes the league leader in ERA. Why? Because he's a better pitcher in Toronto than he was in Boston? No. It is because he no longer has to play half his games in a ballpark which kills him. Those doubles off the Monster are suddenly turning to long fly balls in SkyDome. Everyone has always said that the Dodgers have always had the pitching but have never had the offense to get anywhere. Well...DUH!!! Chavez Ravine just KILLS offensive numbers, both in base hits because of the large foul territory and power because of the size (and altitude) of the park. If you adjusted the ERAs for the park differential you would find out that Nomo, Martinez, Park and Astacio are just average pitchers. Maddux and Clemens are supermen...

A lot also has to do with a particular city where a person plays. My favourite example is Tim Wallach. Here is a player who has been cruelly treated by fate. Bill James once created a formula called ``similarity scores" where a player can be compared to everyone else who has ever played. Now Wallach is generally considered to have had a good career but nothing phenominal. The person who Wallach is most similar to is... hall-of-famer Brooks Robinson. And Wallach has generally superior numbers. Why Wallach is treated so differently is because of several reasons. 1) Wallach has never played on a World Series team. He was denied several years, particularly in 1981 when Rick Monday knocked the Expos out in the top of the ninth in game 5 of the NLCS. And they were close so many other times. 2) Wallach has played his entire career in two of the most extreme pitchers parks in baseball, Stade Olympique and Chavez Ravine. This has cut his numbers dramatically, particularly his power numbers. James estimated that Wallach would have hit about 30 more homers over his career in an average park. That was 10 years ago. He is still playing (sort of). 3) He played his most productive years in Montreal. There is an EXTREME bias among writers, TV program directors and fans against Expos players, leading to players not being recognized for their accomplishments. Ask Steve Rogers who was shafted out of the Cy Young in 1982 despite having an ERA almost a full run lower than the winner. Gary Carter was merely good in Montreal. When he became a Met he was bigger than God. Ask Henry Rodriguez who was kept out of the All-Star game last year while leading the NL in homers (while playing in a pitchers park). Ask Mark Grudzielanek the same thing about this year...I think things would have been a lot different had there not been a strike in 1994 when the Expos had the best record in baseball. Just one good playoff run would have helped the team get some recognition. In my memory (which may be faulty) Montreal has not had two players in the All-Star game since Raines and Carter went, and dominated, the 1985 contest. It's amazing that a city which has a metropolitan area of over 3 million people is still considered a ``small market" while Toronto with a handful more is considered a ``large market." ((I thought it had to do with the size and scope of your radio/TV market. You can be very large if you have lots of stations and lots of area to cover. This is the sense in which Boston, for example, is a large market team. I suspect that Toronto is adopted by the rest of Canada to the west, while the Expos only have tiny Quebec.))

I'm an Expos fan. It hurts to be an Expos fan, especially living in the States. Baseball has done everything in its power to make sure the Expos fail and they still hang around their necks like the proverbial albatross. It looks like they're getting good? Lets move the franchise of the decade in their division! They're leading anyway? Let's go on strike! They have no money? Lets put a guy richer than Croesus in their division! They have good players? Let' make sure they get no TV coverage, so they don't get any recognition and all their good players bitch and leave! Outside the CBC/CTV games I have seen the Expos on TV twice in the last five years; once on TBS against the Braves and once on ESPN against someone a few years ago...People talk about the Pirates doing lots with nothing. Well, they've been in the playoffs in recent memory. Montreal has been doing LOTS with nothing for the past five years because they have the best scouting department in baseball. They lose Wetteland, they come up with Rojas. They lose Walker, they come up with Rodriguez. They lose Alou, they come up with Santangelo and Guerrero. Etc., etc., etc. Every significant player they have lost they have been able to replace with a player of equal or nearly equal quality almost instantly. The Expos are the Rasputin of baseball. You can't kill them, you can only wear them down. I hope they stay in Montreal a long time...

Speaking of moving, there has been a lot ink about the Bills possibly leaving. Three years ago when Bills owner Ralph Wilson was asked by the local press whether he would move, he responded, ``where would I go?" When asked the same thing about moving to Cleveland a few weeks ago, he said, ``maybe, maybe not." Remember this one of the two men who voted against the Browns move to Baltimore. And Modell is one of his best friends. Well, the lease was signed and the Bills can stay. Or can they? We are guaranteed ONE year. $11M of luxury boxes have to be sold or the county is considered in violation of the lease. They have a buyout option starting in five years. I hope they like Cleveland or Toronto. ((You know, of course, that Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse, etc. always were known as old Cleveland Brown cities and to the extent that the AFL ``upstart'' Bills were viewed as being from the inferior league that persisted right up toward the present. It would be ironic, to say the least, if the Bills were to move to Cleveland. Nevertheless, it is only football, which I find mostly irrelevant. If the Patriots move to Providence they will be building the stadium in my neighborhood. I may turn from finding football irrelevant to active dislike if they do... or I may become a fan again, we'll see.))

I think is would be a bad precedent for the league if the Bills moved, possibly worse than the Cleveland move. The main reason is that the Bills have led the NFL in attendance over the last 10 years. If you lead the league in attendance for a decade and STILL can't make enough money to satisfy your cravings then you are doing something very, very wrong. Wilson has claimed that it is the sorry Buffalo economy that is the problem, yet the lease that he proposed (and the county signed) requires the kind of purchases (luxury boxes) that a poor economy cannot make. A local rag called Business First did a comparison between several economic factors and Bills attendance. The result: the determining factor in attendance is the quality of the team. Local economy has played little or no factor in attendance. In fact, the years when the economy was lowest (1989-1994) were the biggest years in Bills attendance.

Another factor in the consideration of Buffalo as a ``small market." This is caused by two factors: 1) The CITY of Buffalo, unlike every other top 50 city in the US, has not added any territory in the last 125 years. This has kept the city population stable or in decline while other cities just annex their suburbs. Metro Buffalo has the largest suburban:urban population ratio in the country. By no small margin. If Buffalo would annex its county, like Jacksonville, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Indianapolis and other cities have done, Buffalo would be 9th in population, not 47th. 2) Statisticians stop counting bodies at the Niagara River. It doesn't keep those half million people on the Niagara Peninsula from coming to the Bills, Sabres and Bisons games, but everyone who live elsewhere thinks there is a 50 foot high impenetrable stone wall where that international boundary is. When the National League expansion committee was here several years ago one of them said ``it's nice but we wish you had a million more people," and one of the local press said, ``look across the damn river! There they are!" ((To be truly fair, you will admit that Fort Erie and Welland are small potatoes and you have to go out to Brantford and Hamilton (as far away as Rochester in the other direction) to find that million. I will admit that those southeastern Ontario cities are more oriented toward Buffalo in many ways than they are to Toronto, but not by much.)) The two cities that met the criteria that the NL established for expansion were St. Petersburg and Buffalo. They gave the franchises to Denver and Miami anyway. Lack of population in Buffalo was one of the reasons. They counted bodies 150 miles away from Denver but they stopped less than 1 mile from the ballpark in Buffalo. Fair treatment? NOT! 3) Buffalo has that irritating little New York after its name. This leads people to believe that Buffalo has some economic and cultural connection to NYC just because it lies in the same state. NYC is over 400 miles away. You are far closer to NYC than I am. All of New England except a chunk of northern Maine is closer to NYC than I am. Montreal is closer to NYC than I am. Washington, DC is closer to NYC than I am. We have been trying to correct that ancient accident of geography for decades but it's damned impossible to get this sort of thing past the NYC dominated state government. We don't want to be in New York, we don't have any connection to New York, we don't have anything in common with New York. We're tired of seeing our tax dollars go there and never return. Another one of the reasons that Buffalo wansn't given a major league baseball team is because it would interfere with the Blue Jays (certainly true) and the Yankees. There are four baseball teams closer to Buffalo than New York yet one here would hurt the damn Yankees more than the Jays, Indians, Pirates and Expos. Incredible.

OK...I'm getting off the subject. ((But it isn't uninteresting...)) The Bills are staying. Regardless of whether or not they actually do, the money is still going to be spent. It is unlikely if the Bills move that there will be another NFL team here because there is no way we'd be able to afford the bribe that NFL owners now require to move. So, when they move we have to find another option for that multi-million dollar stadium in Orchard Park. They'll likely get a MLS team but I'd like to see a CFL team here to rival the Argos and Ti-Cats. A HEALTHY American franchise may be what the CFL needs to survive. Canadian football is a fine game and in many ways superior to the American version. The only major difference is the talent. It would be something to think about.

I'm headed on vacation on the 9th to the 17th to Pennsic, where I will drink heavily and hit people with rattan swords. I'll tell you about it when I get back...

((I hope you do. Our next letter is from Flap Jack McHugh's fiancée...))

Maria Delamain (Tue, 29 Jul 1997 14:31:46 -0400)

The wedding date is set for November 22, and the Honeymoon is the 29th, we were going to get married on the 29th, but I was informed that the day before is black friday, and that is the biggest shopping weekend and my Uncle, his wife and my grandmother wouldn't have been able to come as my Uncle and his wife own a store. ((Allow me to offer my public congratulations to you for capturing the Flap Jack. You seem to have accepted that you won't stop his mouth from flapping! We're MOST glad that you seem to have pushed him back into touch with us.))

I read Brad's article in TAP, for shame, he's lucky I don't take the women comments personally, I'd never invite him over for dinner again, or help out at vertigo games :-) I do however agree with his comments about children and people who have them, as well as his comments about the Boob Tube, as my mother used to call it. I found the rest of his letter, and your comments interesting though I didn't understand half of what you were talking about, though I have to agree about China being evil and that their behavior in Hong Kong will be closely watched, and they will be judged by it, at least one hope's they will and that the money lobbyists won't continue to get our government to ignore their evils. I do know a little bit, though I'm not a political or historical nut the way you gamers seem to be. Since I've been with Jack, I've gotten more lectures on history and politics then I ever did in school, and NOT just from him either!!!

Well I'd better go, I still have to write The Boss's Page for Jack's sub-zine, which by the way will be another lesson in politics and history, don't you'll discuss anything else? < sigh >

((Sure we do, we discuss music! What kind of music do YOU like? I'll bet you like to dance. What do you like to dance to and can you get Jack up to move his butt on the dance floor??))

Harry Andruschak (25 July 1997)

Dear Jim: Nowadays it seems all knowledge is somewhere out there on the internet, IF only you can find it. Alas, I currently don't have internet access. So I am asking the TAP readership for help. Here is my question...

There is an alleged quote from Herbert Spencer that is printed in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, but without a citation. The quote is: ``There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation.''

Obviously, this is an elaborate, Victorian way of saying ``keep an open mind (until you agree with me)''. ((He was also a philosopher, it isn't immediately clear to me which is the cause. Note you have been similarly affected by the Nietzsche quotes.)) What I would like is not only the souce of this alleged quote, be it book or magazine article, but the context in which it was written. In other words, what was Herbert Spencer really getting at? ((Can't say as I know, but I know of Spencer from his association with ``economists'' John Stuart Mill and Jeremy Bentham (they weren't actually economists but when you study the history of the development of economic thought, their ideas come up). The three of them were associated with utilitarianism and individualism, or the idea that the sum of all societal value is the simple sum of the pleasure of each individual and thus individual freedom is preferable to socialism. The only thing specific I remember about Spencer is that he believed the right to pleasure had to be inalienable and given from before birth, while Bentham believed that rights to pleasure could be given or taken away by society or the state. In other words, Bentham thought that if you and I both trying to be happy meant that each of us were only a 1/3 as happy as either of us would have been if the other had no pleasure, then society would be better off allowing one of us to have ``full pleasure'' while the other had nothing. Spencer thought that was poppycock. Economists today agree with Spencer, although not for precisely the same reason.)) Fire up those search engines and send the results to TAP or directly to me. Thank you in advance.

Steve Emmert (Fri, 01 Aug 1997 17:04:32 -0400)

Dear Jim - Here's something I forgot to write last time:

I respectfully solicit the assistance of the Yellowstone Cabal. I may be going out west with my favorite wife next May for our tenth anniversary, and was wondering if there were any good places to stay in and around the park. I do intend to take her to classy joints only; not Motel 6. I will repay any assistance I receive in typical Dip fashion (that is, by stabbing the victim of your choice).

((There they are, two requests for help. Can someone write in please??))

Pete Duxon (29/7/97)

Dear Strange American Geezer: I'm sorry but I haven't stopped laughing after reading Brad Wilson's letter.

Wank off? Didn't find anything particularly erotic in TAP. Did you include something for American readers only? ((No, hyork, hyork, hyork...))

Of course, Brad, you don't have to like football. The numbers argument proves bugger all BUT then it is a very American position to want to be in the minority. ((I might agree with that a little bit...)) The point I was making is that footy is a world game which that American thing isn't. Nothing wrong with liking minority sports. Hell, cricket is a minority sport. ((Did you hear how the team record for a single overs was broken a little bit ago? Something like 947 for six?? The individual record just failed to go in the same match.)) My point is that American sport sold its soul to TV. American Football probably bears little resemblance to the game of the 1890's. I'm told you even have commercial timeouts. How pathetic.

I got seriously pissed during the Olympics at how Michelle Smith was treated. ((Join the club.)) Poor American Janet Evans lost so obviously the foreigner was a junkie. Our Janet obviously eats Apple Pie. ((All Americans didn't swallow that party line.))

And so to politics. Yep Clinton is following standard American foreign policy. As I understand it goes like this. Are they licking our arse? We love them. Will having a go at them cost us votes at home? Say bugger all. Do they have lots of money? Oh well, money over morals. Are they powerful? Say let's do nothing. Are they weak? Yipee, Uncle Sam gets tough.

Look at US treatment of Afghanistan and Grenada. In Afghanistan the US did nothing. Oh sorry, they didn't go to the Olympics. Grenada? Uncle Sam got tough. I am really impressed, how moral - this is sarcasm. ((No kidding...))

Yes, we could have given them passports. If all of them had turned up the island would sink. I have to say being accused of racism and xenophobia by an American is a novel experience. Given that the American South has only recently got rid of apartheid, I don't think Americans are in any position to get moral. And Jim, was there any difference between South Africa and the American South. ((Perhaps not, but I was part of a small group, back in 1978 when Stephen Biko was arrested, protesting on the undergraduate campus where I was at the time. Also, both Brad and I are northerners who have consciously remained living in cities, at least partly so that we aren't building walls against other cultures. Even to Southerners, does it really help anyone move forward to say that they can ``never take moral positions on xenophobia'' because their ancestors once did something? I say, be exposed and change one person at a time.))

The Gibraltans are Europeans so they could be green with pink dots on. I'd imagine most Falklanders are British. The damn country is overcrowded but hey got an idea. The American midwest could take Hong Kong without noticing it. ((Perhaps, for me, the key here is understanding and exchanging views with the Chinese. They don't approach Diplomacy or trade issues the same way your country or my country does. I assert that the British were being naive if they believe the Chinese will give the British any favorable trade consideration for their stance on Hong Kong.))

Don't get me wrong. I know that racism exists but it's certainly better here than France or Germany. France allows all Colonials in and has a huge racism problem. Hence the growth of Le Pen and the national front. I've always believed that human beings are xenophobic. ((And I've always believed that human beings move forward and learn new things by not giving in to their fears.))

Some serious anti-American stuff! Don't get me wrong, there's much wrong with Britain but I don't think Americans are in a position to moralise. I expect I'm going to be blasted. You lot aren't noted for your sense of humour when your country is criticised. ((I'm only going to complain that you are over-generalizing. And I am well known for my sense of humour in the sight of criticism.))

And so to lighter stuff! Actually I agree with Brad, look I'm a reasonable chap, on the TV front. Luckily, I tend to have a lot of free time (I work a 7:30 - 16:00 day). Of course, being single helps!! It's too easy to just turn the box on and sit back. Although given that the fourth series of Babylon 5 has just started...

Me? I enjoy a good book or CD too much. I haven't been listening to much music of late. I've been out and about in the New Forest ((The old Hampshire royal hunting ground.)) and the Cotswolds. ((The Gloucester hills... pretty wimpy by American standards, I think the highest of them is about 1000 feet above sea level.))

Since I never went to University, I can't answer your question. I finished at A-levels. Maybe you should ask Stretchy? ((Yes, well, like me Stretchy is a szine editor which by definition means he is at least ten times less likely to write me a letter on the subject. I would welcome it though.)) Simon Billenness? Before my time.

You're right when I say big thing I mean trepidation. You're right that is back to front but I suppose when you're young the future is a long way away. We'll have to see with my Japanese investments. Most of it is done on a monthly basis. Hell, I even have some US investments (I'm not proud!!). My Dad always says when you have money it's easy to get more. It's when you haven't got any it gets difficult. I wasn't convinced by the budget, it struck me as a bit timid.

I enjoyed Shawn Colvin front row centre seat. Of course the support Holly Palmer in a very tight dress had absolutely no impact on this. ((None at all, were you close enough to smell her perfume? Tina Turner is famous for wearing very strong perfume so at one of her concerts one measures one's ``closeness'' by one's nose.))

What happened to the ((censored...)) poll thingy? ((Around here it is ``The Poll That Shall Not Be Named!'' I don't publicize it, I don't vote, and I don't publicize the results.)) Yes I voted but you weren't top. ((Whatever.))

((Thanks for your letter, Pete, when I sent you some of my response, I thank you for your reply....))

more from Pete Duxon You may be right on the passports thing, although I'm not convinced. I suppose it depends on the take up. Brad Martin of the zine Western Front was trying to wind up (?) his British subbers by referring to us as a second rate power. Well 'tis true. Britain is a european country and the days of empire are long gone. As I understand it Patten was undermined when he was in Hong Kong whilst he was trying to introduce democracy there was a trade delegation in China and you can bet they didn't help the guy. I don't know if I mentioned this in my letter but ...... The comments Brad ((Wilson...)) made about China were viewed through a Western/European view of society. ((I don't think I disagree with that. It is very difficult to (a) understand another culture, (b) not be judgmental about it, and (c) use this to conduct win-win moral diplomacy.)) Some time ago the Beeb (BBC) made a programme called the Africans. The African narrator/presenter made the point that the Colonial powers tried to introduce European Parliaments to the African continent and these largely failed because Africa is a tribal culture. You can't impose one culture on another. I think the mixing of Islam and Christianity could lead to some major conflicts. ((I'm with you all the way until your last sentence. I live in the state where separation of church and state was invented with Roger Williams. Where religion goes, culture needs to follow. Societies CAN coexist without imposing their cultures on each other. It isn't easy, but all sides are better off when it can be done.)) Actually in a minor way this is why the French hate the Americans. The French have banned certain English language expressions. It was explained that this not anti British but a backlash about the invasion of American culture. Of course I'm not certain that America has a culture. Cheap shot !!

((I think I'll let that sit. Now what was I saying about szine editors?? Never mind...))

Kim Head (June 25th)

Dear Jim, Thanks for TAP #190. Thank Steve Emmert for me. ((You've just done so yourself.)) I was just sitting down to do some Hobby type stuff when I read his letter (e-mail) of 30 May. This lead me to put on Let It Bleed. Haven't heard it for the longest time. What a waste. I must admit I tend to forget the stuff I've got on vinyl. ((As do we all.... I am aided in commenting on vinyl in the fact that my ``wall of vinyl'' is right next to my computer where I usually type most of the szine. When I think of something I want to talk about, I can pull the record off the shelf. This is a relatively recent occurrence (Charlotte's idea of putting the records ``out of sight''), since before they were downstairs in our music room.)) Coincidentally, the two Stones albums I still seem to have on vinyl are Let It Bleed and Sticky Fingers!

Most people over here who have eaten McDonald's in the States seem to think its better over there. Cheaper, larger portions and tastier. ((For McD's, perhaps, the Big Mac, etc. were designed for American flavored beef. More generally? I'm not so sure.)) I wouldn't know myself - having never been across the pond. ((Well, you really will have to visit some time. I want to get back to England again and surely will.))

I stayed up all night to watch the election, too. The BBC's coverage was great. Hope you're well.

((I am, thank you very much. I had to pull Tony's quote on Chumbawamba from your szine, I loved his review, it was just the kind of fannish rave that I try to do. I also appreciate the difficulties you and Louise have been struggling with in your editorials the last few issues. I won't bother being specific about the context since it will be lost on most of my readers; however, I DO want to comment more generally on trust in relationships and how it plays out in and around this hobby. I am about as strong a believer in fighting, clawing, and grabbing one's way toward connectedness between us lonely humans as it is possible to be. Hmm, this follows from my exchange with Pete Duxon as well. I happen to express that to a large degree in ``szineness'' since I'm much better at doing it in print than I am in person (although I'm not totally lacking in that skill). When we connect with each other, no matter how we do it, issues of trust and expectations arise. Since the game of Diplomacy is centered so absolutely and completely upon these issues of trust and expectation, one would expect that Diplomacy players would handle these things really well. They would learn the value of avoiding misconceptions and being clear about what is expected from others. Instead, it seems that we all (especially me) have near infinite capacities for putting our feet squarely on our uvulas and failing to get the hint that what we are about to say might hurt our relationships with others rather than help them. Perhaps we all struggle with playing Diplomacy precisely because we see how poor we are at dealing with these things. Three times this year I've found myself in this kind of situation thinking to myself, ``you fool, how could you be so insensitive, what kind of Diplomacy player are you anyway?'' Then, in this hobby, such things (even relatively private matters) have a way of being played out in public that may not work as well as we would like them to do. Anyway, I just wanted to stand up and wave my hand and wish you the best in your szine, your relationships, and life in general. But, I won't wish you luck, perhaps as Combustible Edison said, ``too much luck is bad luck''.... and speaking of luck, here's my brother (whose birthday was yesterday as I type this and this will have to do as his belated birthday card...):))

David Burgess (Tue, 22 Jul 97 14:38:03 -0500)

Jim, I got this off www.nfl.com and I was curious to hear your explanation. from the NFL free agents file: The following is a list of players who have signed with NFL teams and were not drafted. I deleted all the other names, but one... Name Position College NFL Team

Burgess, James LB Miami Kansas City Chiefs Are you really a Dr. in health economics working for the VA? What branch of the government do you really work for? I think I know!!! You are really living a lie, you MUST work for the FBI!!! Isn't it true, you really played football for University of Miami last year? ((I'll never tell, did I tell you that I was black, too?)) Isn't it true, you really earned a PHD in sex therapy(not health economics) from Miami(instead of Brown)??? ((Not that either...)) Isn't it true, you spent several nights in the Lincoln bedroom at the White House? Isn't it true, you were hired to counsel the Clintons regarding their obvious sexual problems? If you know where this is going...please stop me!!! ((Are you kidding? No way!! The people who think you are an invention of mine are probably really spinning now.)) Isn't it true, you are really infiltrating the NFL for the FBI on a special mission to bust the illegal steroid use, so prevalent in the NFL today? Isn't it true, you were hired to counsel Chelsea regarding her teenage crush on the Pillsbury dough boy? Please make me stop... The TRUTH will come out, so spill your beans Dr. Burgess or whoever you are??? ((The truth is that you're black too.))

((Semi-seriously, I did know about MISTER Burgess. He IS very, very, black you know. I don't look a thing like him..... I did not know he was in camp with KC. You can see a picture of him (or you used to be able to) on the University of Miami's Football team web page.))

``And now," cried Max, ``let the wild rumpus start!"

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of world.std.com''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Mike Barno stands by for the new Colonial Diplomacy game which hasn't started yet. Let me know if you want on or off the list. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.

The Colonial Diplomacy game opening is STILL active! I realize that it has been awhile, so I'm not even sure if you're all still interested. Please send me the $15 game fees now. $10 gives you a life of the game sub, a bargain at twice the price and it holds EVEN after you are eliminated. The other $5 is for the NMR insurance calls, so please send along your phone number as well. Roland Sasseville ($15), Don Williams ($15), Rick Desper ($10 - E-Mail NMR insurance), Terry Tallman, Luke Dwyer ($15), and Jonas Johnson ($15) have expressed interest in the Colonial opening. I have a request to call the game ``Show Me the Money'' and so I shall, and so you must do! I have money from the five people above and a request for a random draw. So it shall be. Some others have expressed interest recently. I will take the first seven people who get money to me. I really only need one more as Terry is my publishing mentor and cannot be denied a place by me. Come on, who wants to play?

Conrad von Metzke currently is GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I am playing in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. David Partridge looks like he is going to sweep past me to victory in that game. Now there the black holes are random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Harry Andruschak is the first one to sign up. Otherwise Conrad is now the new editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1906 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Fall 1905

AUSTRIA (Schultz): f ADR wonders why he didn't sail the coast to Alb and

boils eggs in the roiling sea (h), a SER-gre; owns tri, ser (2).

ENGLAND (Barno): f nth-BEL, f nwg-NWY, a YOR h; owns lon, edi, lvp, nwy, bel (5).

FRANCE (Dwyer): f mid-POR, a par-GAS; owns par, bre, mar, por (4).

GERMANY (Lancaster): a PRU rapes and pillages neighboring Livonian villages; owns none (0).

ITALY (Andruschak): has none; owns none (0).

RUSSIA (R. Ellis): f gob-LVN, a gal-RUM, a UKR S a gal-rum; owns rum (1).

TURKEY (J. Ellis): f ANK h, a BUL h, a CON h; owns ank, con, smy, bul (4).

AUSTRIA (J. Ellis): has f TRI, a BUD, a VIE; and 5 nukes.

ENGLAND (Schultz): has f LON, f EDI, a LVP; and 5 nukes.

FRANCE (Barno): has f BRE, a MAR, a PAR; and 5 nukes.

GERMANY (Dwyer): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN; and 5 nukes.

ITALY (Lancaster): has f NAP, a ROM, a VEN; and 5 nukes.

RUSSIA (Andruschak): has f STP(SC), f SEV, a MOS, a WAR; and 4 nukes.

TURKEY (R. Ellis): has f ANK, a CON, a SMY; and 5 nukes.

Addresses of the Participants Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309 Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190

Jeff Ellis, 2120 Ramrod, #1517, Henderson, NV 89014, (702) 450-6361 ($2)

jeff6911 of aol.com

John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

Mike Barno, PO Box 509, Gardiner, MT 59030, (406) 848-2149

Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159

Stuart Lancaster, 4127 SW Webster, Seattle, WA 98136 ($4)

GM: VAPORIZED AGAIN!! Was at 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327

01

02

03

04

05

06

07

TOTAL

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK

4

4

5

0

0

13

RANDY ELLIS

2

2

1

0

1

6

JEFF ELLIS

1

4

3

1

4

13

JOHN SCHULTZ

3

1

5

4

2

15

MIKE BARNO

0

4

1

5

5

15

LUKE DWYER

5

0

5

3

4

17

STUART LANCASTER

4

3

4

5

0

16

Black Holed

15

15

8

14

18

70

Neutral

0

1

2

2

0

5

Total

34

34

34

34

34

170

Times GM Nuked

1

5

2

3

1

12

Lee Kendter, Jr.

0

1

0

0

0

1

Clinton/Dole

0

1

0

0

0

1

Garret Schenck

0

0

1

0

0

1

Switzerland

0

0

1

0

0

1

Ireland

0

0

1

0

0

1

Nukes Withheld

4

0

5

4

0

13

Game Notes (firmly orbiting in the tropopause):

1) Thanks to Lee Kendter, Jr. for the Round #6 Miller Number. For Round #7 (our FINAL ROUND!!!) Austria is Randy Ellis, England is Jeff Ellis, France is John Schultz, Germany is Mike Barno, Italy is Luke Dwyer, Russia is Stu Lancaster, and Turkey is Harry Andruschak. Could we have a Round #7 Miller Number please??

2) For the rest of the game, if Jeff doesn't submit orders, his units will hold and his nukes will go unfired.

Press:

(1906 RUSSIA - 1906 ENGLAND): Thank you for your letter postmarked 21 July. ``I love you, you love me, let's hang Barno from a tree...''

(JOHN BOY - BOOB): Man, this thing didn't get here until tonight. It will be a miracle if you get it on time.

(BOOB - JOHN BOY): Yeah, I'm afraid this issue may not be much better. I'm crossing my fingers, though.

(OLD CHINESE PHILOSOPHER - JEFF ELLIS): Learn patience, and how to sit quietly on the banks of the River of Life. Sooner or later you will see the bodies of many of your enemies floating past.

(SKYWALKER - RANDY): Thanks for the advanced warning. It's very necessary to destroy me completely, when Schultz is only one SC behind. Why not spread the wealth and nuke us both.

(ANDRUSCHAK - RANDY ELLIS): The answer to your peevish ``You'll have to let me know if a 6th place finish gives you a similar sense of freedom'' would seem to depend on what you intend by the word ``freedom'' in this context. ((Shall we attempt to employ Benthamite utilitarianism here?? Heh, heh, heh... are you only 1/3 as happy unless Randy gets nothing??)) Unlike your alleged strategy, mine has been in consistent operation since Winter 1900. I saw no reason to change it in 1905, and I see no reason to change it now. Did you really think I was bluffing? If nobody is naughty to me in 1906, I'll just nuke the GM 5 times in 1907 as punishment for all his adjudication mistakes in ``Suffren Succotash''. Now THAT's real cross-gaming! ((But probably well deserved....)) The tit-for-tat strategy HAS given me one freedom that is denied to you, the freedom not to take myself so goddamned seriously.

(JOHN BOY - ELLIS): I'm sorry man... trusted #1, didn't I? I guess I got it backasswards. I'll do better next time. But I absolutely refuse to nuke myself. Second place, or no.

(ANDRUSCHAK - GM): A question about the upcoming Black Hole NYEED... can more than one unit use such a space? ((Absolutely, as many as possible)) Units of different countries? ((Yup... heh, heh, heh. Diabolical, eh?)) For example, the North Sea is nuked. Can England order Army Yorkshire-Denmark AND Fleet Edinburgh-Norway AND Fleet London-Belgium? ((Yup, and all would make it contingent on orders into Denmark, Norway, and Belgium.)) And could Germany order at the same time something like Fleet Holland-London? ((Yup, but if Fleet London-Holland was the order, then those two units would bounce. It really is as if the space is not even there.)) If not, what are the rules on ``bounces'' in the black holes? ((It just isn't relevant. I believe everything ``works'' in that there are no new paradoxes that result, but it may make Pandin type paradoxes more likely.))

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1906 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1907 IS SEPTEMBER 13TH, 1997

Fall 1906

AUSTRIA (Ellis): f ALB S a ser-gre, a TYO-mun, a ser-GRE, a boh-GAL,

a BUD S a boh-gal, a ven-TRI, f ION-aeg.

ENGLAND (Pollard): f TUN S FRENCH f tyh-ion (nso).

FRANCE (Dwyer): a pic-BEL, f TYH S ENGLISH f tun-ion, f NAO-nwg, f lon-NTH,

a EDI h, f nwg-BAR, a BUR-ruh, a MAR-bur.

GERMANY (Emmert): f hel-HOL, a VIE h.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): a MOS h, a SIL-mun, a WAR-sil, f SEV S a rum, a RUM h, f bal-DEN,

a MUN-ruh, a gal-boh (d r:ukr,otb), f NWY-nwg, f AEG S a gre, a den-KIE, f kie-HEL,

a gre h (d r:bul,otb), a BER S a sil-mun, f EAS-ion.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Ellis):

tri,bud,ser,gre,ven,rom,nap

(has 7, even)

ENGLAND (Pollard):

tun

(has 1, even)

FRANCE (Dwyer):

bre,par,mar,por,spa,lon,edi,lvp,

(has 8, bld 1)

bel

GERMANY (Emmert):

hol,vie

(has 2, even)

RUSSIA (Sherwood):

stp,mos,war,sev,swe,ank,nwy,

(has 13 or 14 or 15, bld 2(2 r:otb)

con,smy,den,kie,mun,bul,rum,ber

or 1(1 r:otb) or even)

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Grant Village, Yellowstone Natl. Park, WY 82190 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of iglou.com

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Is it a quiver, or is Russia being pushed back??

Press:

(ADMIRAL LANGWORTHY to ADMIRAL VON STEUBEN): The moment of truth draws near. We will soon know how this war will continue. Keep on your toes and never surrender!

(ADMIRAL POLLARD to AMBASSADORS EMMERT AND ELLIS): I congratulate you both on your mutual cooperation! Together your Armies have been giving the Russians a difficult time... Don't let up! Give those bloodthirsty Cossacks hell!!!

(SKYWALKER - RANDY): I did not know what you wanted me to do with F Tyh, so I tried to guess something you might do.

(BOOB to SKYWALKER): Randy? Shouldn't that be Kent?? If you want to know why Kent didn't get his act together enough to accept your support....

(KENT to STEVE): Are you enjoying those margaritas?....

(MIKE to KENT): What is the holdup? I've lost 25 pounds in this stinking rotten hole that you call a dungeon! Perhaps Jim-Bob could arrange some kind of release - before I lose my mind.

(FRANCE - AUSTRIA-HUNGARY): He is going for the win, but we can prevent it.

(KEITH to THE VARIOUS POWERS): Perhaps I should apologize to all of you for discontinuing all communications after my stabs, but I really don't think any of you have what it takes to stop me. Surrender immediately and perhaps I will have mercy on your souls. Continue and face my wrath!

(FRANCE - RUSSIA): You dare call us jerks? Your arrogance in assuming your win will lead to your demise.

(RUSSIA to FRANCE): One cannot simultaneously ``really want to work with" me when I have been honest with you about my intentions, and also want to stop me from winning. I think you had it right the first time: you owe nothing to the others, who each actively worked against you even while they whined at you. Engarde!

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1907 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Summer 1907

AUSTRIA (Tallman): has a RUM. ENGLAND (Lowrey): has f NWG, f NTH, f SWE, a NWY.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): has f SPA(SC), f MID, a GAS, a TUS, f ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): has a TYO, a PRU, a SIL, a WAR, f DEN, a UKR, a HOL.

ITALY (Billenness): has f NAP, f WES, a VEN.

RUSSIA (Williams): R a ukr-SEV; has a LVN, a SEV, a MOS, f STP(NC), a VIE. TURKEY (Sherwood): has a SMY, f BLA, a SER, f AEG, f TYH, a BUD, f TUN, a TRI, f ION.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($8)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 6503-D Fourwinds Drive, Charlotte, NC 28212, (704) 563-9226

mlowrey of charlotte.infi.net

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of frdc.com RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)

KEN_PEEL of hagel.senate.gov

TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of ix.netcom.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Dick Martin, and Vince Lutterbie in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is presently missing, so I am running low on standbys here...). Someone find Mike Mills!! Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game! Although press in this szine is generally black, I will make the exception here that I will say who has NPRed and is ``at risk'' for being dropped. This time we have press from everyone except Terry and Simon. They are ``on the bubble'' for next time!

Press:

(MICHAEL-JIM): You haven't found the Bee Charmers CD yet? For whatever it's worth, the station I DJ at has had a copy for the past year. To make sure we're talking about the same thing, it's called Hangin' Around and is a five song (or so) EP. Somehow I don't like that you haven't seen it. ((Well, I'll look again...))

(DAF to RUSSIA): Yes, you have managed to drive another Russian position into the ground in as much time as it takes to make a bologna sandwich, BUT...(Don Williams Memorial Ellipses) do you have a fleet in Clyde? If not, get away from me kid - you bother me. Come back when you've grown up a little.

(GERMANY - RUSSIA): Don, you never WERE a threat. You're just fun to kick around, like an old soccer ball!

(PARIS to MOSCOW): You fit the Austro-Italian pattern very well: virtual silence in the press until your ass is kicked, and then whining protestations thereafter. Now is the time to choose a toadmaster...wanna be MY puppet? I'll even write press for you, if asked.

(GERMANY - AUSTRIA): I never did get to see the registration papers for the horse, ya know.

(BOOB to GERMANY): Are you sure that wasn't a donkey?

(DAF to URPCHUCKDUCK): Actually Sweetie, I never figured you for a butt man. But if the joke fits....(Don Williams Memorial Ellipses(DWME))

(TURKEY): what is it about this game that makes one somnambulant after a year?

(EUREKA, CALIFORNIA): No Kevin Tighe, will write soon.

(BOOB to LOST DUCK): Sure you will, sure you will... if you really were looking for Kevin Tighe, you'd be anticipating the great wealth that would come your way if you found him and you'd have been staying in the luxury Eureka Inn instead of that seamy Motel Six on the wrong side of the tracks! Just who were you meeting there? And what was Sherwood doing while you were gone? Or, rather, WHERE was Sherwood while you were gone??

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): Guilty as charged. My wife deletes email from women (e.g. Stephanie Williams) before I can read it.

(FRANCE to TURKEY): Methinks you picked the losing side. Look at your- self: four units advance out of nine. Two of them move westward. Like, wow man!

(TURKEY to RUSSIA): Fight on. The least I can do is not add to your woes. Just retreat to Sev to stop Terry from retreating all the way back to the Caspian Sea through your centers.

(GERMANY - ENGLAND): Reports from Warsaw suggest that when you free the citizens of St. Petersburg from Russian rule and formally make them English citizens, they would all like some haggis and perhaps some spice burgers.

(BREST to ST. PETE): You're trying to mock the POLES for choosing the GERMANS for deathmasters? Wait until 1940, when Stalin seizes 15,000 Polish officers, professionals, engineers, doctors (no lawyers?) and packs them to a big pit. He'll have them each shot in the back of the neck before they fall into the shrinking chasm. It will be enough to have the Red Army boys tire of puking, and try to revolt (they'll fail).

(ON A SANDY BEACH IN CALIFORNIA): The sun blazes it's orange red way down into the blue of the water as we open our scene. A long stretch of sandy beach, tawny as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit (snork) model's airbrushed thigh stretches as far as the eye can see (without glasses). A figure is moving slowly along the beach. Who could this solitary figure be? A jilted lover? A man going over marriage proposals in his head, discarding them one by one like Post Its? A woman waking from a six martini lunch out for a breath of air and a moment of sanity? As our omnipotent camera man zooms closer, we see a few more details. White Keds with black socks, bermuda shorts, a tee-shirt emblazoned with the words ``Geologists do it in the Dirt" and atop this improbable yet endearing figure, a pair of earphones. Are they attached to a radio? a CD player? A silver plate on a stick? Close. A metal detector is clutched in our solitary man's hands and he is using it as a dousing stick, looking for liquid cash.

(GERMANY - WARSAW GERMANS): Are you enjoying your jagerschnitzel? Now let us all sing the ``She's Too Fat For Me" Polka!

(MORE FROM RED DAF): As the duck ran into the backs of her legs for about the umpteenth time in as many minutes, Red Daf turned around and grabbed the feather bag by the throat and hauled him forward until he lurched in front of her instead of behind. ``I can't help it if I can't see without my contacts", muttered the duck. The duck had been muttering for quite awhile now, but beyond a few unintelligible blurps like ``ducklink" and ``fred" Red had not listened to a word he had said. Thad Rutter, the huge barbarian who was Red's companion, motioned for quiet. The duck, still deep in his offended funk, did not notice that Thad stopped. As he startled forward trying to avoid a swipe from Red's fist, he planted his beak into one of the links of Thad's chain mail. ``Umm, ohhogoout," frothed the duck with little spit balls coming out of the side of his mouth.

Thad suddenly swore, turned on his heel and started running back down the hall they had just crept up, the duck sailing out behind him with his feet only touching the floor about every fourth step. Red took one second to peek at what had caused the sudden flight and swore very close to the same oath. For coming down the hall was a wave of black, oily looking water. Riding atop the water, on a four foot wide stainless steel blade, was a red-eyed demon with hair the color of a three-day old bruise. Red didn't wait to see more, but turned and ran after her barbarian friend and the duck who was sailing along with his beak wedged firmly to his ass.

AUSTRIA: Josh Smith; ENGLAND: Nick Fitzpatrick; FRANCE: Jim Burgess; GERMANY: John Sloan; ITALY: Danny Loeb; RUSSIA: Rich Shipley; TURKEY: David Kovar.

GM: Mark Nelson, 1st Flr Frt Flat, 3 Kelso Road, Leeds, W. Riding LS2, UK; amt5man of amsta.leeds.ac.uk

I've begun my write-up on Ghods too, but you won't see it for a long time since it won't appear until 1997 KT ends. Anyone want to take odds on whether I will finish my article before Mark finishes his on 1994 KF? I'm still waiting to discover whether my key suppositions were correct that ultimately determined the outcome of the game.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of mgames.com);

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of brown.edu);

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of ttacs1.ttu.edu);

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of syncon.com);

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of idirect.com);

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of exmail.usma.army.mil, fazfam of juno.com);

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of kaiwan.com).

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of world.std.com)

USIN judge: judge of kleiman.indianapolis.in.us

((The main point of this game is to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. I will be reprinting all orders and selected broadcast press each issue. Other comments are welcome. If you want to observe the game, in real time, check out the USIN judge.))

Austria: Army Trieste - > Budapest. (*bounce*)

Austria: Army Vienna SUPPORT Army Trieste - > Budapest. (*cut*)

England: Fleet Kiel - > Baltic Sea.

England: Fleet London - > North Sea.

France: Army Spain - > Marseilles.

France: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Austrian Army Vienna. (*cut*)

France: Fleet Holland - > Helgoland Bight.

France: Army Ruhr - > Kiel.

France: Fleet Norway - > St Petersburg (north coast).

France: Fleet North Africa - > Western Mediterranean.

France: Army Munich SUPPORT Army Ruhr - > Kiel.

France: Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean SUPPORT Fleet North Africa - > Western Mediterranean.

France: Army Burgundy SUPPORT Army Munich.

France: Army Marseilles - > Piedmont.

Germany: Army Denmark SUPPORT English Fleet Kiel. (*void*)

Germany: Fleet Sweden - > Norway.

Germany: Army Prussia - > Silesia.

Germany: Fleet Edinburgh - > Norwegian Sea.

Germany: Army Berlin SUPPORT English Fleet Kiel. (*void*)

Italy: Army Venice - > Tyrolia. (*bounce*)

Italy: Fleet Tunis SUPPORT Turkish Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Italy: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Rome.

Turkey: Army Silesia - > Bohemia.

Turkey: Army Budapest SUPPORT Army Galicia - > Vienna. (*cut*)

Turkey: Fleet Gulf of Lyon SUPPORT Italian Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Western Mediterranean.

(*void*)

Turkey: Fleet Constantinople - > Aegean Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Ionian Sea - > Tyrrhenian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Albania - > Trieste. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Galicia - > Vienna. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Army Bulgaria - > Serbia.

Turkey: Army Sevastopol - > Moscow.

Turkey: Army Moscow - > Livonia.

Turkey: Army Smyrna - > Armenia.

Austria: Army Trieste - > Venice.

Austria: Army Vienna SUPPORT French Army Munich - > Bohemia. (*void, dislodged*)

England: Fleet Baltic Sea - > Denmark.

England: Fleet North Sea - > Edinburgh.

France: Army Marseilles - > Spain. (*bounce*)

France: Army Tyrolia SUPPORT Austrian Army Trieste - > Venice.

France: Fleet Helgoland Bight SUPPORT English Fleet Baltic Sea - > Denmark.

France: Army Kiel - > Berlin.

France: Fleet St Petersburg (north coast) HOLD. (*dislodged*)

France: Fleet Western Mediterranean - > Gulf of Lyon. (*bounce, dislodged*)

France: Army Munich - > Silesia. (*bounce, dislodged*)

France: Fleet Mid-Atlantic Ocean - > Spain (south coast). (*bounce*)

France: Army Burgundy - > Munich. (*bounce*)

France: Army Piedmont SUPPORT Austrian Army Trieste - > Venice. (*cut*)

Germany: Army Denmark - > Sweden.

Germany: Fleet Norway SUPPORT Army Denmark - > Sweden.

Germany: Army Silesia SUPPORT Army Berlin - > Munich.

Germany: Fleet Norwegian Sea SUPPORT Fleet Norway.

Germany: Army Berlin - > Munich.

Italy: Army Venice - > Tyrolia. (*bounce, dislodged*)

Italy: Fleet Tunis SUPPORT Turkish Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Western Mediterranean.

Italy: Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste.

Italy: Fleet Rome - > Tuscany.

Turkey: Army Bohemia - > Vienna.

Turkey: Army Budapest SUPPORT Army Bohemia - > Vienna.

Turkey: Fleet Gulf of Lyon - > Piedmont. (*bounce*)

Turkey: Fleet Aegean Sea - > Ionian Sea.

Turkey: Fleet Tyrrhenian Sea - > Western Mediterranean.

Turkey: Fleet Albania - > Adriatic Sea.

Turkey: Army Galicia SUPPORT Army Bohemia - > Vienna.

Turkey: Army Serbia SUPPORT Italian Fleet Adriatic Sea - > Trieste.

Turkey: Army Moscow SUPPORT Army Livonia - > St Petersburg.

Turkey: Army Livonia - > St Petersburg.

Turkey: Army Armenia - > Sevastopol.

The following units were dislodged:

The Austrian Army in Vienna with no valid retreats was destroyed.

The French Fleet in St Petersburg (north coast) can retreat to Barents Sea.

The French Fleet in the Western Mediterranean can retreat to North Africa.

The French Army in Munich can retreat to Ruhr or Kiel or Bohemia.

The Italian Army in Venice can retreat to Rome or Apulia.

France: Fleet St Petersburg (north coast) DISBAND.

France: Fleet Western Mediterranean - > North Africa.

France: Army Munich - > Kiel.

Italy: Army Venice - > Rome.

Ownership of supply centers:

Austria: Venice.

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, London.

France: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Liverpool, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain.

Germany: Munich, Norway, Sweden.

Italy: Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis.

Turkey: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Vienna, Warsaw.

Austria: 1 Supply center, 1 Unit: Builds 0 units.

England: 3 Supply centers, 2 Units: Builds 1 unit.

France: 10 Supply centers, 9 Units: Builds 1 unit.

Germany: 3 Supply centers, 5 Units: Removes 2 units.

Italy: 4 Supply centers, 4 Units: Builds 0 units.

Russia: 0 Supply centers, 0 Units: Builds 0 units.

Turkey: 13 Supply centers, 11 Units: Builds 2 units.

Germany: Removes the fleet in the Norwegian Sea.

Germany: Removes the army in Munich.

France: Builds a fleet in Brest.

England: Builds a fleet in London.

Turkey: Builds an army in Constantinople.

Turkey: Builds a fleet in Smyrna.

Selected Broadcast Press (1908):

(peterson of connectnet.com as OBSERVER): Anybody else notice how the amusing press stopped after the Russian left. I vote we declare him the victor.

(desper of math.rutgers.edu as OBSERVER): It seems like a while since the broadcast forum has had some game commentary. So, here it goes:

Turkey looks very strong.

(nfitz of sentex.ca as OBSERVER): Yes, but pork-bellies are down ...

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1910 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Winter 1909

AUSTRIA (Johnson): has a SER.

FRANCE (Pustilnik): R f den-HEL; bld f bre; has f BRE, a BUR, a PIE, f NWY, a GAL,

f NWG, f BAR, f BEL, f HEL, a KIE, a RUH.

GERMANY (Alme): has a BER.

ITALY (Williams): bld a VEN; has a VEN, a TRI, a MUN, a GRE, f ADR,

a ALB, f ION, f AEG. RUSSIA (Rothenheber): R f nwy-SWE; rem f ska; has f SWE, a SIL, a STP, a VIE, a BUD,

a BUL, a DEN, a ARM, a BOH, a SMY, f BAL, a RUM, f CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($3) EcidLor of aol.com ENGLAND: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041.

FRANCE: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($9)

GERMANY: Hank Alme, 5157 Norma Way #217, Livermore, CA 94550, (510) 606-7265 ($3)

almehj of kristen.llnl.gov

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($5)

dwilliams of csiway.com

RUSSIA: Ed Rothenheber, 11757 Lone Tree Court, Columbia, MD 21044, (410) 740-7269 ($3)

Rothenheber_Ed of bah.com

TURKEY: David Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($4)

rebhuhn of juno.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) The infamous IF draw if proposed. IF everyone votes for this draw with their spring orders and IF they all vote yes, this game will be over. IF not, it will go on toward its mindnumbing conclusion.

Press:

(OFFICIAL FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE QUOTE OF THE SEASON): ``Definition of morality: Morality - the idiosyncrasy of decadents, with the ulterior motive of revenging oneself against life - successfully. I attach value to this definition.'' From Part 7 of the ``Why I Am A Destiny'' section of Ecce Homo. Umm, I could say a whole lot about this statement, but I think it does require one bit of background. The morality he defines is what he perceives as the morality of the modern world, a morality that he asserts stemmed from an ``improper'' revaluation of all values. He very clearly wants to overturn this with his own revaluation of all values that will put values ``right side up'' again. While Nietzsche means this to be a complicated concept, I believe the most important essence of it to be self-knowledge and the absence of self-deceit. It is on this point that I most agree with him and (although he would be furious with me for saying it) see him as being most Christian. Hmmm, rather than me rambling on, I'll choose some more quotes along these lines in the next few seasons.

(JOHN BOY - NIETZSCHE): Emerson will have to wait till next time.

(DAF to JOHNBOY): It's great hearing from you too! I'm so pleased with your success in school. Considering the situation, two B's aint bad! Sweetie, you've never been dumber than rocks and you know it. And as far as a Harley tramp, I work in a law office and the senior corporate attorney, is a Harley tramp. He just got back from a week trip down the coast. He lets his hair grow, and a beard. Right before he goes, he cuts the middle out of the beard so it looks like mutton chops. He ties a headband around his forehead to cover the fact that he's still got a conservative haircut, even with the length, and he even puts on a tattoo. I know you're probably thinking to yourself that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket, but he has learned alot about human nature and life with this hobby. He has learned that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. All it took was to have a few airport cops put him up against a wall and frisk him to open his eyes. Congratulations on finding your family. You never told me about that. One day soon, you're going to have to come out here, we'll get a bucket of beer and a cool shady spot and talk for as long as it takes. I still look forward to the day. I'll even introduce you to my lawyer/Harley tramp. Take care. Write if you can.

(JOHN BOY - DON): I do understand your drift amigo. But no sweat. I did my eighteen years, to date, without succumbing to the ``gang'' thing. Not easy, but it can be done, despite what you see on TV. I climb my own trees and stand on my own two feet. Blacks and whites with that mentality are very clear where they stand with me. Damn their rhetoric and closed ideals. I'll read Nietzsche to the ``Gangstas'' and James Baldwin to the skinheads and they can kiss my everlovin' rainbow ass. Oh yeah, Gates can join in if he likes.

(DAF to BORING WILLIAMS PRESS): I beg your pardon? The moment you kick start me is the moment you start hobbling around on a stump.

(SOMEWHERE IN THE SHADOWS OF TRINITY THEATER): Hey, I was just kidding. Daf, let me out. I promise I'll be good. You know you tie the best knots in town and I have no way of getting down from here. It's just a little joke, right?!

(WASHINGTON to ITALY): Yeah - at least until the new season starts. It's only reruns now.

(TURKEY - ITALY): Actually, the only flaw so far in my master plan to control Europe has been the distractions engendered by the excruciating slowness with which you and the Russian took over my territories. While you poor benighted fools continue to blunder around with your armies and ships my true conquest nears completion. I now have a corner on 87% of the vineyards in France, 79% of the tea imported into England, 74% of the beer brewed in Germany and Austria, 92% of the vodka in Russia and a full 98% of the Prozac in Italy. I tip my hand now for it is far too late for you to do anything about it. Play with your little tin soldiers while true power is wielded by those more suited to use it.

(MR. ROGERS to MR. PARTRIDGE): Can you say Whiner? I knew that you could.

(WASHINGTON to MS. RHODE ISLAND): I don't see you laughing? In fact, I don't see you at all. You think that because I have my fingers busy typing that you can use your fingers elsewhere. Think again Sister.

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1913 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1914 IS SEPTEMBER 13TH, 1997

Fall 1913

FRANCE (Rauterberg): a bur-RUH, f ska-SWE, a ruh-HOL, a TYO-vie, a hol-EDI,

f ADR S f tun-ion, a NAP h, a TRI S a tyo-vie, a VEN S a tri, f tun-ION,

f APU S f tun-ion, f NTH C a hol-edi, f TYH S f tun-ion.

GERMANY (Zarr): a MUN S a ber-kie, a gal-SIL, a BOH S a mun, a sil-BER, a ber-KIE,

a UKR h, a VIE-tyo, a NWY h, a MOS S a ukr, f DEN S a ber-kie, f kie-HEL.

TURKEY (Johnson): a BUL-ser, a gre-ALB, a ARM S a sev, f EAS S f ion, a BUD S a ser-tri,

a SEV h, a SER-tri, a RUM S a bud, f aeg-GRE, f ion h (d r:aeg,otb).

Supply Center Chart

FRANCE (Rauterberg):

bre,par,mar,bel,por,spa,lvp,

(has 13, bld 3)

lon,tun,rom,nap,ven,hol,tri,swe,edi

GERMANY (Zarr):

mun,kie,ber,den,nwy,stp,war,

(has 11, rem 2)

mos,vie

TURKEY (Johnson):

ank,con,smy,bul,sev,rum,bud,

(has 9 or 10, even(r:otb) or rem 1)

ser,gre

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

Pprosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Nothing this time.

Press:

(PARIS to ANKARA): The Italian people are war-weary, and they demand that we drive all potential invaders away from their shores (that doesn't include ourselves, since we are not POTENTIAL invaders!).

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1916 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

Winter 1915

AUSTRIA (Davis): rem a boh, a tyo; has a BUD, a TRI, a GAL.

FRANCE (Zarr): bld a par; has a PAR, a GAS, f BRE, a MAR, a POR,

f SPA(NC), f MID, f ENG.

GERMANY (Jones): bld a ber; has a BER, a MOS, a SIL, a PRU, a LVN, a MUN, a BUR, a RUH, a WAR, f BAL, f GOB.

TURKEY (Weiss): bld f con, f ank; has f CON, f ANK, a BUL, a TUS, a SER, a UKR,

f GOL, a SEV, f WES, f NAF, f PIE, f VEN.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of aol.com FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 231 Guerrero Drive, Tamuning, Guam 96911-3808, (671) 647-3478

rcw of pcinet.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Of course, Turkey could only build TWO units, as my counting skills again are called into question. This did not appear to be a problem since Richard was on top of the likelihoods much more than I.

2) A FGAT and a FGT draw are proposed. Please vote with your spring orders. As usual, failure to vote vetoes both proposals.

Press:

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1908 IS AUGUST 23RD, 1997

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1909 IS SEPTEMBER 13TH, 1997

Fall 1908

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): a SER S a bud, a ALB-tri, a BUD S a alb-tri.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): a STP h, a LVN-war, f CLY h, a MOS h, f NWG h, f GOB h, f BAR h.

FRANCE (James): a VEN S a tri, f ion-GRE, f EAS S GERMAN a smy (otm), f ADR S a tri,

a TRI h, a SYR S GERMAN a smy (otm), a tyo-VIE, f AEG S f ion-gre.

GERMANY (Emmert): a WAR h, a UKR S a gal-rum, a BOH S FRENCH a tyo-vie,

a SEV S a gal-rum, a gal-RUM, a smy-con (d ann).

RUSSIA (Schultz): a ANK S a arm-smy, a arm-SMY, f CON S a arm-smy,

a BUL S f con, a rum-gal (d ann).

TURKEY (Andruschak): a gre S AUSTRIAN a alb (d ann).

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik):

bud,ser

(has 3, rem 1)

ENGLAND (Hoffman):

edi,lvp,lon,nwy,bel,swe,stp,mos

(has 7, bld 1)

FRANCE (James):

bre,par,mar,por,spa,ven,tun,

(has 8, bld 3)

nap,tri,gre,vie

GERMANY (Emmert):

mun,kie,ber,den,hol,war,rom,

(has 5, bld 3(PLAYS ONE SHORT))

sev,rum

RUSSIA (Schultz):

bul,ank,con,smy

(has 4, even)

TURKEY (Andruschak):

none

(out)

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (415) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of aol.com

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of msn.com

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of btl.net RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, F-E88, Indiana State Prison, PO Box 41, Michigan City, IN 46361-0041 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, now lost, HELP!

GSchenck39 of aol.com - CANCELLED!

Game Notes:

1) The Western Triple FEG has been reproposed. Please vote with your Winter adjustments.

2) Lots of annihilations, eh? Thanks to Harry for diligently playing out the standby position!

Press:

(JAMES to GM): I'm confused. Russia has no territories in Russia, only in Turkey. Turkey has no territories in Turkey, only in Greece. Where do I address my Press? If I want to talk to Russia, everyone might think it is Germany/England, if I send it to Turkey, it might be confused with Greece. I want to send Press to the original Greek government and don't know how to do it.

(BOOB to JAMES): I'm sure everyone sympathizes with you deeply... may I suggest that you figure something out on your own?? Hyork, hyork, hyork!

(PARIS to THE ORIGINAL GREEK GOVERNMENT THAT RULED OVER GREECE IN THE FALL OF 1901): Liberation is near. Support the French Freedom Fighters by taking to the streets. ((How soon is now?))

(ANDRUSCHAK - BOOB): As a suitable punishment for all your adjudication mistakes in ``Suffren Succotash'', I intend to nuke you 5 times in the year 1907 of NYEED. (Now THAT'S cross-gaming!)

(PARIS to THE LAST GREEK GOVERNMENT THAT USED TO RULE TURKEY): You used to be our friends and still are, but we think we can make better use of this territory than you can. Sorry you never got to move anywhere else.

(RUSSIA IN EXILE to EVERYONE WHO WANTS MO'): Squash me like the bug I am and make me like it.

(FRANCE to THE RUSSIANS IN TURKEY): Watch us rip you off of the Black Sea like dominoes being toppled over by a child. That's what happens to those who don't vote ``Yes".

(JAMES to SCHULTZ): Mark one up on your side - I was wrong, you did last longer than Harry (unless you saved him for later).

(FRENCH FLEET to ROYAL NAVY): Our sailors attending your schools paid off handsomely. Our last three fleet amphibious landing to Syria was executed without a hitch.

(HARRY - JOHN BOY): I doubt if the GM is going to be upset if somebody sticks their nose in, as long as it results in more press. ((Nope, and you get the last word in the szine too. It isn't always the case, but this time, the end of the press here is the last thing I'm putting in. I will quibble with your alleged Christian definition of atheism. Just as Christianity is based upon unknowable faith, so is atheism. Go for it, I'm done....)) As for how anyone can claim atheism, that would depend on how you define the term. Most Christians insist an atheist is somebody who can prove God does not exist. Most actual atheists simply regard themselves as having no belief in God, for whatever reason.

At bottom, I simply do not believe in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, or God. I will cheerfully admit that I cannot prove that any of the four do not exist. I suppose I could argue that if something exists, there should be evidence of its existence. With no evidence for the existence of SC/EB/TF/GD, I see no reason to believe in them.

As for homsexuality and the bible, you have to remember that many of the laws were based on the principle that the Jews, as a small tribe, had to breed fast. Women were regarded as baby factories. Even today, the morning prayers of an Orthodox male thank God for not making him a gentile, not making him a slave, and not making him a woman. Men were supposed to get married and produce children for the tribe, and raise and support those children. Homosexuality sort of cuts into that activity. It results in people enjoying sex rather than having sex to produce children for the tribe. Tsk tsk. Almost as bad as masturbation.

Personal Note to You: