``We're not bitter dancers, burnt out and bruised;

We've still got some moves, and nothing left to prove;

You know me by now.'' From ``Know Me By Now'' by Mark Cutler on his latest Skylolo. This one's growing on me....

First up, I have an announcement about the Breaking Away game opening. The game's designer, John Harrington, will be playing and if he doesn't win, he will give the winner a free copy of the game! Come on, you don't need to own the game to play. I want some people to join this game or I'll cancel all my other game openings and just run the szine to a fold (these threats seem to garner attention and action). The game will cost you nothing except a commitment to play. I'll publish the full rules again next issue.

Now, I get to the ``boring stuff''. The postal sub price is a flat $1.00 per issue in the US and Canada, a bargain at twice the price.... but you can double that for other foreign subbers (or $2.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and new game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $15.00 ($10.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance). Remember that music comments and reviews are scattered through the game press at times.

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch

Through Jamie McQuinn's Postal portion of the Pouch:

http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html

the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually in the near future.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!! The Cal Tech ftp site is being mirrored on the devel.diplom.org machine as well. Issues of The Abyssinian Prince #131 to #186 are available via anonymous FTP from ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu in the pub/diplomacy/Zines/TAP directory in compressed postscript format. I will be putting all of these issues up in html format at the aforementioned site and more. We'll get all that straightened out soon. The gracious assistance of Kevin Roust is most appreciated in keeping up this site. The files begin ap131.ps.Z and go sequentially from there. The Caltech site is at:

ftp://ftp.ugcs.caltech.edu/pub/diplomacy/WWW/

Some people have said they know where Dan is, but no one has won yet! Get out there and scoop this one!!

This is now going to be a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new ``search for'' every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Kevin Tighe or Garret Schenck or Jerry Lucas is ``found'' from now on it is worth $25. Plus, Steve Emmert will throw in another ten spot for Garret Schenck if you can get Garret to write to him.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Bid on PDORA items, subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for. This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who ``found'' him.

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK (johnh of fiendishgames.demon.co.uk or JHarrington of DatastreamICV.com). Note that address is a new one. The representives in Australia (John Cain, PO Box 4317, Melbourne University 3052, AUSTRALIA) or Belgium and some other European countries (Jef Bryant, Rue Jean Pauly, 121, B-4430 ANS, BELGIUM) also will forward your subscription on to the editor in either Australian dollars or continental European currencies respectively. Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

Remind me to talk about Keith Thomasson's szine a little bit next time.... and that will have to be next time again....

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

Some borrowed World Dip Con comments.....

Rick Desper (Tue, 26 May 1998 19:12:41 GMT)

Just got back from WDC. The individual winner was Chris Martin, who had a solo win as England. John Quarto also had a nice Turkish solo. Internet players did pretty well as a whole.

Manus Hand: Chris, John, and I (three of the top 5) are e-mailers, all there directly or indirectly because of The Pouch. Simon Szykman came 14th, and I believe there were some other e-mailers who ranked between my 5 and Simon's 14.

Yeah, I finished in 11th and Vincent Mous finished in 12th. Maybe a couple more. (Was trying to figure out a way to get in a bit of bragging!) This was by far the most success I've ever had in a FTF setting. 10-center Russia (3-way draw), 11-center France (3-way draw), and 15-center Austria(4-way draw :( ) in the first 3 games. In my fourth game (Germany) I needed a 2-way draw or big 3-way draw for the game not to be dropped, but when my French ally stabbed me I abandoned the home for some Russian SCs which led to a 6-way draw with only England eliminated. Mark Franchesia, the French player, would have won the overall championship had he won the game. He ended up taking a lot of flak for finishing with 16 SCs in a 6-way draw, which I enjoyed immensely.

It was unfortunate. I met many people for the first time and could not hope to spend much time with any, except for those who I got to play with.

((I did really want to go to World DipCon and was sorry I didn't make it; however, I don't really enjoy tournament cons anywhere near as much as I enjoy more relaxed cons. The great memories (the deep belly laughs) always came at housecons. Still, I'm sorry I didn't get to meet Rick again and Manus for the first time!!))

Well, since we were at DixieCon, it didn't really have the feel of a `big con' like Avaloncon did, and like I imagine Origins does. I liked it a little better than a tiny con where I have to face the same guys in game after game.

((Rick is running the demo game ``pouchtoo'' that picked up many of the players from ghodstoo. And although Manus is in pouchtoo, the two players you ``lost" from ghodstoo obviously did really well!! (Fassio and Birsan). I don't know the winner but John Quarto vonTivadar, Mark Fassio and Edi Birsan definitely would be in my top five of players I have ever played with (I don't have the honor of playing in a game with Manus yet!).))

I (unfortunately or fortunately?) did not have the pleasure of playing in any games with John, Mark, or Edi. I did get lunch the first day with John and got the definite impression that he'd be a great FTF player. He said we'd met at an Incident, but that was a few years ago and I don't have a clear memory. Chris, the overall winner, has that same feel. I played a game with him last year at AvalonCon. He's the kind of guy who looks like he was on debate teams for 10 years.

((Good job! Gotta stop those winners!! John Quarto is one of the best players I've ever seen at manufacturing a win against good players. Analytical, persuasive, personable. Hey, how come we didn't get him in one of these demo games!?))

Well, let's add him to the list!

((Still, I'm glad the E-Mailers did well. I might get an assist for pushing John Quarto into going, even though I didn't go. I think of John as first and foremost a FTF player. He plays a LOT by FTF.))

John gets credit as somebody whose name I've been seeing in email circles for years. But I can definitely see dropping him in the FTF bin. He doesn't play the same kind of game that Vince, Simon, and I play, if you know what I mean. (Please don't press me for details, I'm not sure I know what I mean.)

Michael Lowrey (Tue, 26 May 1998 13:46:40)

Jim,

David has all the results sheets (I hope, as I don't), but off the top of my head the top board was:

1. Chris Martin 2. John Q. 3. Mark Fassio 4. Edi Birsan 5. Manus Hand 6. Brian Ecton 7. Tom Kobrin

DipCon will be at Origins over the July 4 weekemd next year (Bruce Reiff in charge) with WDC in Belgium in March. Also, the site for WDC X in 2000 was selected as AvalonCon, under Jim Yerkey. The other proposal here was from Larry Peery.

This section is developing a list of the great party singles of the century. You'll get a definite sense of quirky before we're done. You'll also get a sense of timelessness. I'll assume that I'll also get some comments from some of you. Then, I'm going to set a slate of 20 or so and DEMAND votes from you out there. I may get a bit obnoxious on that score as the great freedom to work and play will generate a responsibility to offer some opinions as we near the end of the century. So far, we have ``I Melt With You'' by Modern English.

This issue, I took as my first task to select the best George Gershwin party song of all time. This was really, really difficult. I went back and forth and finally decided to choose ``I Got Plenty O' Nuttin' '' from Porgy and Bess. Gershwin probably wrote better love songs than this, but the essence of black folk music here and the party down spirit is best epitomized by this song. Naturally, I must have Ella Fitzgerald singing it on the classic 1957 concert recording with Louis Armstrong blowing trumpet on Verve. The composition of the stompin' tune builds with the tune played through three times. The first time Louis plays it on trumpet, then he sings it with that distinctive voice, and finally Ella gives it that perfect rendition that only she can do. As most of you probably are becoming aware, 1998 is Gershwin's centennial and there are lots of tributes going on this year, so in case anyone forgot how essential Gershwin was to 20th Century popular music they will be reminded. I already had decided that this song had to be in here. You have to remember what an essential musical event it was when you had a Jewish guy write this black jazz opera (and it really is opera!) that had just plain dancable party tunes. Then, Ella of course is just such a sublime singer of this song. It hesitates, it rocks, it swings, it gets to the heart of the inanity that is the party song - yet it has deep meaning. I'd actually appreciate it if anyone wanted to argue the choice of this song and would rather choose another Gershwin. There are some GREAT choices that I am necessarily leaving out, but I won't name them. It's up to you if you want to argue with me.

While we're thinking black jazz, the other essential party song here must be Billy Strayhorn's composition for Duke Ellington, ``Take the A Train''. What I'm looking for are songs that transcend their genre or style and speak to people directly in their dancing feet. It is nearly impossible to say more about Ellington or this song that would make sense. As Benny Green has said, ``Duke is really not much use to the writer on Jazz. There is nothing adequate to say about his music and it would be indulging in extreme literary bad taste to keep floundering with superlatives.'' I won't try either.

Lastly, Frank Sinatra won some people's Dead Zone games for them in going to join Ellington and Gershwin in the greatest band of all. What Sinatra song goes on this list. I have no doubt that it's ``New York, New York''. Surely not his best pure song, surely way overexposed, but definitely his best party song! He also did a great song about ``Chicago'' - there is ``My Way'' naturally, and there is ``Strangers in the Night'' and all manner of other songs. Still, for what I'm hunting, ``New York, New York'' is it. That song was really big in the late '70's and early '80's. As a trivia question, what disco song about the Big Apple vied with Sinatra for possession of the City during that same period? Does anyone think that song or some other song should be the song in this list about the Greatest City in the World?

So, that adds three more songs to the list. I intend to have a lot of fun with this, and hope all of you do too. We'll end up with a monster party tape at the end of it that I plan to segue and sequence and copy for distribution. It will make a great New Millenium party tape.

Two quickie reviews and a comment for this issue before I turn things over to you. First, the Mekons have a new album out, I'm even a bit slow in reviewing it for all of you! How could I do that to you?? Also, as long as we were talking about the general failure of crossover music, I want to cite two recordings that epitomize the best of crossover music... in each case talented classical musicians hook up with talented popular artists and make classical music with real spark. One is brand new, the other is ten years old.

First, the Mekons. There is no doubt about it, Me is a very, very hard album that shows the influence of working with Kathy Acker the last few years. As they put music around Kathy Acker's sexually explicit and militant verses, their own musical ideas naturally strayed to the same subjects. This record is the result of that natural inclination. While it is riveting music, it's not pleasant, easy listening stuff. Yet, it is an example of why this is still the world's greatest rock band.

Last issue, I started to make some comparisons to Sonic Youth and ran out of time. I'm not sure I have enough time to make my points this issue either, but let me say this. When rock bands ``make it'' and no longer live in the grime, dirt, and uncertainty of an underclass life, they simply can't really make rock music any more. It has been argued by some rock critics that Sonic Youth are the exception that proves the rule. I disagree. Corporate or crowd pleasing rock music can still be worth quite a bit, yet it will never be the transcendent experience that comes from singing out of real faith in the face of daunting uncertainty. Sonic Youth are not bad, but they aren't anywhere near where a band like the Mekons are, and they never will be.

Yet, this also does not mean that the Mekons always make great transcendent music. They certainly don't. Me is a good example of the chances that a great rock band takes, their successes and their excesses. They take the sexual explicitness down a road with both subtlety and a hammer far beyond anything I've ever heard on record that still hangs together as a musical entity. I don't count the ``shock'' boys like G.G. Allin, nothing here is purely for shock value. I honestly believe that hanging out with Kathy Acker took them on a journey whose straightforward retelling leads them here. Most of the record, like ``Whiskey Sex Shack'', ``Come and Have a Go If You Think You're Hard Enough'', and ``Enter the Lists'' do transcend their subjects to be great songs on their own. There's a silly humor here when you ``pick up a map and look gorgeous''. And ``what it is (definitely) don't come in a bottle'' (and they must have recorded this before Viagra actually came out...). For other songs, like ``Tourettes'', at the least I found it difficult to get by their dark, dirty ugliness to the meat underneath, even as I intellectually could see it. To see where all this springs from, Me must be seen as part of a piece with that last record with Kathy Acker. Still, after I listened to it a few times, it kept growing on me. And the denseness and composition of the music in places is the best they've ever done, such as the instrumentals in ``Mirror'' that are totally hypnotic. I'll let you know what I finally think of it at the end of the year. If any of you are trying the Mekons for the first time, I still would start with the Original Sin CD that includes all of Fear and Whiskey, still their best and most essential album.

Ghod has teamed up with his old friend Philip Pickett to record some striking 16th Century English virginal keyboard tunes. The start was some research by Philip Pickett and Sharona Joshua into this music and they discovered catchy tunes, sexy harmonies, and foot stomping rhythms. Enter Richard Thompson, Dave Pegg, Simon Nicol, and Dave Mattacks. Result: WOW! Leaping off the keyboard to these multi-instrumental versions already naturally brings them out of the dusty old bones where they have been buried for the last few centuries (while classical music has more or less ignored them). They call the album perversely enough, The Bones of All Men. Nope, no bones here! Go out and grab this sucker!! It illustrates what happens when an open minded guy like Pickett (who, of course, already has done his English folk thing with the Albion Band twenty years ago or so) reaches out to some old folk pals when he sees the opportunity to make some real fine listenin' tunes.

Brad quite correctly mentioned Wynton Marsalis' classical work as a perfect example of what great music can come from first class musicians in other genres when they take up classical pieces. One of my favorite Marsalis classical records is his collaboration with Raymond Leppard and the English Chamber Orchestra doing Baroque Music for Trumpets. They ``cheat'' and also play Michael Haydn's Concerto for Trumpet and Orchestra, but who cares? Marsalis is silky and sexy and Leppard keeps the orchestra rock solid on for Wynton to wrap himself around. More than that, through the magic of recording technology, Wynton plays ALL the solo trumpet parts (up to eight layers in Biber's Sonata for 8 Trumpets and Orchestra). More than being a complicated technical exercise (making for fascinating liner notes!), the result is the liveliest versions of the Haydn, Telemann's B Flat Major Concerto for Three Trumpets and Orchestra, and Vivaldi's C Major Concerto for Two Trumpets and Strings I've ever heard. And the hackneyed Pachebel Canon gets a jaunty treatment that shouldn't be missed! This was a 1988 recording but well worth tracking down. Now to Conrad von Metzke's take on Eric Brosius' Beethoven question....

Conrad von Metzke (Sat, 9 May 1998 15:37:50 -0700)

Assuming you have not already dealt with your Beethoven situation, I would suggest as my no. 1 choice the second of the two complete editions by Wilhelm Kempff on Deutsche Grammophon 429306-2. The copyright date is 1965 - don't be put off by that, sound is superb. Price about $75 (my local Tower has it marked $71.91 plus tax). It meets your criteria very well, and has the added benefit of being one of the ``great Beethoven moments in recording history." But do check date and catalogue number carefully, as you do not want to get Kempff's earlier (early 50s) earlier run-through - fanatics consider the earlier one superior, but the sound is less clear.

Have been trying to send an extended version of this, discussing many of the available choices, but my computer keeps freezing on me and I haven't been able to get the messages finished. Will keep trying. Will now send this ``basic" version before something happens.

Conrad von Metzke (Fri, 15 May 1998 05:41:19)

Sorry for long silence, My computer is still having convulsions. It is again in the shop and this is the old one speaking....

Anyway. In the short version of the message I suggested as a top version of the B. sonatas the 1965 recordings by Wilhelm Kempff. Deutsche Grammophon 429306-2, approx. $75. Since then I've done more looking and researching, and talked to some people, and listened to a few things. I have not changed my mind. But there are some other possibilities worth a mention, and some things to steer you very clear of.

First, let me recommend three versions to AVOID.

(1) Artur Schnabel, EMI. These are among the great classic recordings of this music - they have been issued at times in a ``Great Recordings of the Century" series, and in this case that is absolutely accurate. They are stunning. Even now. Sixty years after they were first issued on 78 rpm discs....and that last fact is of course the problem, the sonics are just not going to work for your purposes of being able to hear everything clearly. You can't. Electronic wizardry goes only so far. Moreover, Schnabel was of the Grand Romantic Tradition that was, shall we say, very flexible with matters of tempo and dynamics - not at all comparatively straighforward as you've indicated you prefer.

(2) Paul Badura-Skoda, Camerata. Easily identified by the fact that, except for the names Beethoven and Badura-Skoda, everything printed on the album is in Japanese. You aren't likely to find this esoteric import anyway, but if you do, skip it. Badura-Skoda has used an 1825 piano to record a so-called ``period performance," and for all its musical and historical interest, it won't accomplish what you want it to - the instrument is just too different.

(3) The ``other" Kempff, also DGG. I've recommended his 1965 edition; this other one dates from about a dozen years earlier, and fanatics think it's even better - but the sonics just aren't good enough to to the job you want (and further, it costs $20 more than the '65 set for some inexplicable reason). On the '65, the copyright/issue date is on the back of the box in tiny letters at the very bottom under the contents listing.

Now some other things: These are the other sets known to me in current circulation, with my thoughts based on having now heard at least some of all but one of them:

Daniel Barenboim: Well, I'm not sold on this set. He's too heavy for my taste, too - well, almost turgid at times. I love Barenboim, and I love him most of all as a pianist, but for some reason not in this set. In his defense, though, he is the model of clarity and technical quality.

Richard Goode - Rave reviews by some, lots of grumbles by others as too eccentric. This is the one I haven't heard, but I do know Mr. Goode's work in Schubert, and frankly I find him rather dull. But again, he is a stunning player from the technical point of view.

Murray Perahia - I'm honestly confused by catalogue listings about whether in fact Perahia has actually issued the whole set - if so, it's apparently a bunch of single discs and not a boxed set. If I were going to send you anywhere but Kempff, this would be where I'd tilt. His Beethoven is my kind of Beethoven - slightly restrained, thoughtful, lovingly and clearly played, never EVER eccentric.

Alfred Brendel - Rather the opposite of Perahia, forceful and explosive and deeply Romantic, very much in the tradition (though less blatantly) of Schnabel, with whom Brendel studied. This is ``gutsy" Beethoven but I think you'll find it won't meet your needs of clearly-presented, ``straightforward" approach.

John O'Conor - He's an Irishman, and a firebrand. This is the most virtuoso, most flamboyant Beethoven I've ever heard in my life, fast and driving and every single note stunningly individualized. Everyone should hear this - but I dare you to learn anything from it, you'll be out of breath and blinded by trying to follow his fingerwork. Personally, I think he has twelve fingers and isn't telling us.

Jeno Jando - an interesting possibility for you to consider. There is no boxed set, rather ten single volumes on the budget Naxos label, and the set includes the half-dozen early sonatas that aren't counted in the published 32. The tendency has been to ridicule Jando as a ``low'budget" unknown on a low-budget label, but I find him considerably better than these 'facts' would suggest. Of all of these pianists, he is probably the most literally faithful to the scores (except the ``period" Badura-Skoda, of course, which is literal to the point of slavish), and although Naxos' sound can be a little edgy at times, a slight twist of the treble knob clears that up quite nicely. (You have to do the same for Kempff anyway, considering the '65 date of taping.) Your only real problem would be finding a shop that has all ten volumes in stock on the same day - Tower in Boston might, but otherwise? Note, Naxos are usually kept by themselves in their own rack rather than mixed with all the other stuff. At $7 a disc, the `budget' set actually is about the same price as the Kempff '65.

I gather from the catalogue listings that there are at least a couple of other sets out there, but these are by people unknown to me, so there isn't a lot of purpose in guessing at a recommendation.

I do hope this is of use. In truth, with most of the sets above, you won't be going wrong; most of my qualifications are at most slight tilts, ``gray area" things to keep in mind. The fact is that there is not one single set in the bunch that wouldn't be of great value to you, save only the AVOIDS for the reasons given. (And to be fair, even the earlier Kempff isn't really a true `avoid,' it just seems stupid to pay more for a version that will do less of what you want it to.)

((Conrad's completeness overwhelms my ability to comment as comprehensively. Conrad's probably right about Brendel for the purpose you want, but it is a damned fine recording! Perahia's versions are the only other ones I know very well of the ones he mentions. My other recording is an incomplete boxed set of Ashkenazy on London. It's also a stunning interpretation that doesn't meet your needs for that reason, yet perhaps it does merit a listen - especially his interpretation of #29 ``Hammerklavier'' - even if you can't play it the way he does. I like Brendel better than Perahia for myself, though you must remember that I am not much of a Beethoven connoisseur (or much of a Romantic classical fan at all). When I do listen to Beethoven I usually am looking for his restrained Romantic side and that's what I hear when I listen to Brendel. It shows you how point of view is everything in classical music. On the other hand, Conrad and I agree completely about Havergal Brian's brilliant Gothic Symphony that I intend to write about next.... but not this issue. I only have one of Perahia's single discs and I think Conrad may be right that it never has been compiled into a complete set. You realize that you must report back what you bought and what YOU thought of them, and how they helped or didn't help your playing!))

Pete Duxon (Tue, 05 May 1998 01:23:44 PDT)

Jim, hah got through the old Burgess rationality !! I think it would be fair to say that the US gives the impression that it is ``God's Country" (any comments if you're reading this Jerry ?). I think this is different than saying it's the country you would most like to live. Given the size of the US you are almost as near to me as you are Tom Howell!! ((Postally, I certainly am. Mail gets to you a couple of days faster than it gets to Tom and other West Coasters.)) I'm sure there are parts of the states I'd prefer to the UK and surely you would find this the other way. I can't picture you in the deep south or the bible belt and this has nothing to do with religion you strike me as too tolerant. ((Remember that I did live there for a year.)) Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh I can't remember who said it but someone in TAP used the tired cliche over Washington saving democracy. This is just ssssssssssoooooooooooo untrue Washington may have given a chance to a certain type of Democracy at a certain time but to reiterate what I said to you before this isn't the only type !! The Wye valley and the new forest are two of the nicest areas of the UK the Wye is right next door to the Brecon Beacons which is gorgeous as well. And since you keep asking for international trades then write to Brad Martin for a very good zine. Am I meant to sub to Mr Shortman?? ((Only if you want to....))

Rich Goranson (Sat, 16 May 1998 12:26:01 EDT)

Boob: As sort of a response to Pete Duxon's letter, I am sending you a compilation tape called ``Calvert's Celtic Collection, vol. 1." I made this tape from CDs I had on hand at home and it was for putting in raffle baskets at SCA events (Calvert is my name in the Society). The tape includes:

``Gentle Breeze'' - Eileen Ivers

``Iain Ghlinn' Cuaich'' - Capercaillie

``Caoineadh Cu Chulainn'' - Davy Spillane

``There Was A Lady'' - Relativity

``Broken Wings'' - Cherish the Ladies

``Outlaws'' - Capercaillie

``Oran'' - Capercaillie

``The Wexford Carol'' - The Night Heron Consort

``Green Grow the Rushes Oh'' - Cherish the Ladies

``Dulaman'' - Altan

``Hi Rim Bo'' - Capercaillie

``The Carls o' Dysart''/``The Log Splitter'' - The Tannahill Weavers

``Ballavanich'' - Wolfstone

``Seice Ruairidh'' [Roddy's Drum] - Capercaillie

``Casadh cam na Feadarnaighe'' - Touchstone

``Fair Warning'' - John Cunningham

``Tae the Weaver's Gin Ye Go'' - Andy M. Stewart & Manus Lunny

``Zeto'' - Wolfstone

``The Harvest'' - Eileen Ivers

``An Seanduine Doite'' - Relativity

``Beam Me Up'' - Rare Air

I chose these pieces because I thought it was a fair representation of what Celtic artists are doing today. The groups are from all the Celtic countries except France and Wales. (Capercallie, Andy Stewart, John Cunningham, the Tannahill Weavers and Wolfstone from Scotland; Relativity, Touchstone, Davy Spillaine and Altan from Ireland; Cherish the Ladies and Eileen Ivers from the United States coincidentally both are from the Bronx; Rare Air from Canada and I believe the Night Heron Consort is from England.)

Just to give you a sample of what I've been harping about for the last year or so. Now if only I can find a padded envelope...

((A postal employee without a padded envelope?? I guess you found one since I got it, thank you!! I still haven't had a chance to listen to it, but I will. Switching gears, John Harrington is my partner in the ISE and as such he and I exchange lots of E-Mail. We also carry on side-discussions that don't always get into the szine. This issue, I get caught up on such things with a number of notes that have accumulated over recent months....))

John Harrington (Thu, 02 Apr 1998 11:33)

Jim,

Finally finished TAP over the week-end. Made me feel rich to think of all the money I had saved not being as keen on music as you are. Then again, think of all the musical experiences I have missed out on.

((Yeah, you should see my music collection..... I haven't figured out yet whether CD's or vinyl take up more volume per unit.... CD's are smaller but fatter. I have lots of volume of both, but still more volume in vinyl.))

There seem to be a lot of Anglophiles - at least in terms of music - among your readership. Who'd have thought the Beat would still be referred to so often well over a decade past their hey-day? In Britain although they were a successful band they always ranked behind the big 2: Madness and the Specials. I wouldn't say they are forgotten but if they are remembered at all it is largely because they gave birth to the Fine Young Cannibals and one of the most irritating vocalists the world of pop has ever endured, namely Roland Gift. He sings like his gums have been anaesthetised.

((Correct. I was a REALLY big Beat fan. They did great concerts, we especially loved how cool Sax was on stage.... none of those follow bands were anywhere near as good. I also loved Madness and the Specials, but the Beat was transcendent. The Specials have returned, of course, with ska back on the charts.))

Anyway, Dave Wakeling (guitarist/singer) with the Beat has got a new band called BANG! which is supposed to be more in the vein of the Beat than was his other band, General Public.

((Yes, I remember, good to hear, I will check it out! They have a CD yet?))

My most memorable ska moment was being downstairs at a party when they played ``Night Train to Cairo" by Madness. A room full of about 40 people stomping away simultaneously upstairs don't half put the fear of god in you; I'm amazed the floorboards held out.

((We used to stomp away to ``Click, Click'' and scream along with ``Stand Down Margaret" - Anglophiles, yes well, I suppose so!))

John Harrington (Fri, 03 Apr 1998 12:04)

Jim,

I don't think BANG! have cut any records (do people still use that expression?) but they are playing live, more so in the States than over here in Blighty. They do mostly Beat songs, plus a few BANG! originals and the inevitable General Public hit ``Tenderness".

On the subject of CDs and vinyl, I don't own a CD player but about 6 months ago after upgrading to Windows 95 it became a lot easier to listen to CDs on my PC so I went out and bought a few. I resisted the temptation to repurchase my vinyl collection and bought a few newish albums (Merseybeast by Ian McNabb, Free Peace Sweet by Dodgy) and some well old (Cab Calloway, Duke Ellington, Little Richard). One of these days I hope to be able to play a vinyl LP again but I reckon I will have to wait about three years before number 3 son (currently aged 4) is old enough to be trusted not to use them as frisbees or to jog the deck whilst a record is playing. By then parts of my aged vinyl collection (The Undertones and The Rezillos anyone?) may well be back in fashion.

((Ah yes, I love Cab Calloway too. Have you ever seen the movie he did with all the dancers? I think it's called Stormy Weather. Just stunning. I remember the Undertones well, but only the name of the Rezillos rings any bells. I can't recall what the Rezillos sound like.))

John Harrington (Mon, 27 Apr 1998 11:03) Jim,

We are now safely esconsed in our new house. There's only 8 houses in the entire street and we've already met more neighbours in 3 days than we spoke to in 9 years at the previous house, which I suppose is the advantage of moving in to such a small community.

We currently have an electrician plus a carpenter-cum-handyman in the house making it fit for habitation - a process that entails initially making the house incredibly unfit for habitation. On the Friday when we moved in the handyman turned the water off for a while, after which we could not get any water upstairs, due to an air lock. I don't know if plumbers charge the same bandit rates in the USA that they do over here, but we had little option but to call out a plumber on Friday night, as the toilets were not flushing.

The ``60 minute" call-out plumber's charges were 55 pounds per half hour (or portion thereof), which meant if he worked 31 minutes he got paid 110 pounds. Fortunately for us, the 60 minute plumber took over 3 hours to arrive at which point we cancelled his services and waited till the Saturday when another plumber fixed the problem for an altogether more reasonable 60 pounds for just over an hour's work.

((We have called the emergency plumber on Thanksgiving Day when cooking and overusing our garbage disposal resulted in a jammed sink. I forget exactly how much it cost ($75 for a half hour visit comes to mind - which is close to your figure). He said that holiday emergency rates were the way to make lots of money really fast. Everybody does what we did that day...))

The rest of the week-end was spent in what my in-laws probably thought was a strange bit of role reversal; me looking after the 3 kids whilst Lin hacked plaster off the walls and put up shelves. Lin thanked me this morning for doing an excellent job. Hell, that's the sort of ``job" I could get used to - it does not get much better than playing football over the park with a bunch of kids and one or two other indulgent adults. I noted, in passing, that the Asian father over the local park had brought a cricket bat and ball to keep his sons amused - cricket in England is hardly played at all by children now outside of public (i.e. fee paying) schools, although a gradual increase of indoor cricket clubs may reverse this trend. Such is the way nowadays; it used to be that you turfed your kids out the front door and they made their own sport, whether it be games of cricket (using a lampost as a wicket, or with a wicket painted on a wall) or football or war games. Nowadays you pack the kids in to the family estate car and drive them from an indoor cricket centre, thence to a football workshop, thence to an indoor adventure playground.

Continuing the theme of community, I was out with the kids on Sunday and stumbled across a St. George's Day parade by the Scouts movement (beavers, cubs, scouts, brownies, girl guides, sea scouts, etc.) In England, we celebrate St.George's Day with about the same enthusiasm with which we would greet the prospect of washing our hair in a bucket of warm spit. On the other hand, many of us celebrate St. Patrick's Day with gusto because, as someone explained to me last Thursday (St. George's Day), St. Patrick is the patron saint of getting legless. St. George, on the other hand, is associated with retired major-generals and Nazi nutters from the British movement. Still, it matters not that we do not celebrate St. George's Day in any great way (other than vicariously through our children's involvement in the Cub Scout movement), because it's through rituals like playing football in the park with our kids on a sunny Sunday afternoon (with the raincoats nearby) that we celebrate being English.

That was ``Thought for the Day" from the Reverend Pompous-Gitt.

I can easily be seen as an odd duck, since I listen to the BBC World Service and on occasion even pay close attention to the cricket scores!))

((By the way, some time I wish someone would explain to me why the ``relegation" races at the end of the year in ``football" are such a big deal. The way I see it, if you're at the bottom of a Division, you'd be better off dropping down, rebuilding and possibly winning a championship at a lower Division, and then ``roaring" up into a higher division on a roll after building a winning attitude. As I look at our larger leagues, I wish some teams had this ``opportunity". I expect that otherwise, teams slog around in the bottom of a particular division, just barely avoiding relegation, for years with no hope of improvement and just the goal of not being relegated. The sense I get is that the world ends when you're relegated.))

John Harrington (Thu, 14 May 1998 11:55)

Jim,

Ah, relegation. There's lots I could say about relegation but first I need to explain a bit of history about the structure of the football leagues over here. Unlike, say, the NFL, we have 2 ruling bodies over here.

The Football Association (note, not the English Football Association, merely the Football Association, as when it was named it was the first of its kind - the same thing applies in golf, where the British version of the Open is merely called ``the Open" not ``the British Open" - well, you've got to be proud of your history when you can!) is responsible for football at all levels, which includes schools football, parks football, the amateur game, the national team and of course the pros.

The Football League is a slightly more recent organisation (still over 100 years old) which, until recently, administered the top 4 divisions. (Divisions below these are called non-league and I presume are administered by organisations under the jurisdiction of the FA).

About 9 years ago, the FA decided to form the Premier League, which was basically what was previously known as Division One but with the number of teams whittled down from 22 to 20 (it was going to be 18 but the FA was mindful of the difficulties of getting turkeys to vote for Christmas).

The purported rationale behind this move was to reduce the number of games played in a season. An English team that is successful in the numerous knockout tournaments during the course of a year can very easily end up playing over 50 games, compared with about 40 for the Continental teams, which tended to leave our players knackered when it came to international matches.

Lurking in the background as what many suspect is the real reason for the move was the threat of a breakaway by the big clubs. The introduction of satellite TV had brought an unprecedentedly huge amount of money into the game and the big clubs believed that, as they have the power to attract the most viewers, they should get the lion's share of the money.

Previously TV money had been shared by all 92 league teams in a reasonably fair distribution. Now the top clubs wanted to get their snouts in the trough big time and squeeze out the little guys. This was only the continuation of a trend. Back in the 70's clubs used to share gate receipts which meant that when a small club like Queens Park Rangers (QPR) visited a large club such as Manchester United, QPR would get half the gate receipts. The big clubs thought this was unfair and put a stop to it. As you can see, the pursuit of ``parity" is not very high on the agenda of the leading clubs.

Anyway, the upshot was that the FA took control of the top division, renamed the Premiership, and negotiated a deal with Rupert Murdoch's Sky for an obscene amount of money, most of which was distributed equally among the Premiership teams.

Meanwhile, the Football League, left with just 3 divisions to look after, confusingly renamed all the divisions so Division 2 became Division 1, Division 3 became Division 2 and so on. The Football League also negotiated a TV deal with terrestrial TV but the size of the deal was pitiful in comparison with the Premiership deal.

Thus we have a two-tier football society: the rich boys in the Premiership paying huge salaries to pampered continentals and the poor boys in the Football League hoping to make ends meet by selling their star players to the rich boys on a regular basis.

The disparity in income is so severe that there is a ``parachute" arrangement for teams relegated from the Premiership, so that in the season after they get relegated they still get a (diminished) share of the Premiership money to tide them over until they have got rid of all the players who were on Premiership salary levels. In practice most teams use that money to finance their promotion efforts but it is a bit of a high risk strategy because if you don't secure promotion in the first season you are left with a huge wage bill without the revenue to support it.

So that's the main reason why relegation from the Premiership is a bad thing, quite apart from the fans' hurt pride. Other factors apply, such as smaller crowds at lower league matches, a lower standard of football and the possibility of a continued slide down the leagues. Back in the sixties a team rose from the 4th division to the 1st division and went back down to the 4th again, pretty much in successive seasons.

More recently one of the country's biggest clubs, Manchester City has just been relegated to Division 2 (i.e. the old ``Third Division") for the first time in its history. When it slipped out of the Premiership everyone assumed a club with its massive fan base and highly paid players would get out of the division pretty quickly, which it did, only in the wrong direction.

The club is massively in debt, with lots of star players earning the same wages they were getting in the Premiership and were it not for the fact that some millionaire with more money than sense always turns up to bale out a club there would be a very real chance that the club will go belly up if it does not get promotion next season.

However, there are regular occasions when your analysis works out: a club goes down a division, regroups, regains confidence and the winning habit and comes back stronger. I suspect that this scenario only really works for the big city based clubs. The ``cinderella clubs" who have put together a few good seasons to rise above their ``natural" level usually fall back to their natural level (or below it) if they get relegated.

This season, for instance, 2 of the 3 clubs relegated last year are coming straight back up and the third relegated club merely has to win a play-off to get promoted. Meanwhile the 3 clubs promoted last season to the Premiership have all come straight back down again, suggesting there is some kind of limbo developing between the Premiership and Division One.

From a fan's point of view, getting relegated is a pain because it means you can't win the Premiership title (you can still win the FA Cup, which is a knockout tournament), and most of all you have to put up with constant jeering from your friends who support rival and, in my case, more successful teams. On the plus side, clubs in the lower divisions are not compelled to have all-seating stadia, so you can return to the good old days of being able to stand and sing to support your team.

It's odd that a country the size of the USA has but 30 clubs in the NFL whereas a country the size of England has 92 clubs. What this overcrowding in England means is that you are much more likely to come into regular contact with a supporter of a local rival and of course it is de rigeur to kick a rival fan's emotions when his team are down.

Despite all that, I would not have it any other way. I'm not saying our system is inherently better than the US franchise based system, as there is a school of thought that says if the threat of relegation is withdrawn teams will play with a lot less fear, leading to a general raising of standards; I think this would be unlikely - it would just lead to a lot more meaningless games, and the British game is all about passion. However, we have got used to it, the promotion/relegation format has been adopted virtually all over the world and one of the reasons why many of us are happy that the likes of Brad Martin (?) continue to reject football as a spectator sport is the fear that in the pursuit of the Yankee dollar (as the Skids once put it) FIFA might Americanise the structure of the game. Vive la difference!

I used to think the US ``play-offs" style was an odd way of deciding champions. Our system of having everyone play everyone else home and away seems fairer than resorting to a knockout format where an NFL team that has gone 16-0 regular season might go out of the play-offs to an 9-7 team largely because the undefeated team's quarterback and star running back got banged up inside for beating up their girlfriends, or whatever.

However, having watched the NFL for about 15 years and kept half an eye on the Pennant Race I reckon that there have been few occasions when the best NFL team has not won the Super Bowl (the NY Giants were maybe exceptions) whilst at least the baseball teams get a series of play-off games rather than one-off sudden death.

I've no idea how the NBA decides its champions as basketball is an instant turn-off for me. I think it's the high scores that do it for me; in general US sports favour lots of activity (compare lots of overtaking in Indy car racing to minimal overtaking in Formula One) and scoring (basketball versus football - the concept of a thrilling 0-0 draw is probably completely alien to most Americans!) ((You got it....)) whereas European culture is more about foreplay with the occasional orgasm. As such, it is a mystery why baseball has not caught on in a bigger way in Europe.

``I have never learned ... to play the lyre, but I know how to make a small and obscure city rich and great." (Themistocles, in Plutarch's Lives.)

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at ``burgess of world.std.com''. If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904.

Standby lists: Mike Barno, John Breakwell, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Doug Kent, Paul Rauterberg, Doug Essinger-Hileman, Stan Johnson, Harry Andruschak, Dave Partridge, Andy York, Michael Pustilnik, and John Schultz stand by for regular Diplomacy. Sean O'Donnell, Mike Barno and Andy York stand by for the Colonial Diplomacy game. Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Paul Kenny, and John Schultz standby for the Modern Diplomacy game. Let me know if you want on or off these lists. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks. I'd really appreciate it if anyone wanted to be added to the list.

Not much action in this space lately, is that because I'm offering the wrong games? You could ask me to run something you want to play here, you know....

Conrad von Metzke recently finished GMing a black hole game where you can freely jump over black holes instead of having them render spaces impassible. I played in this game and like the tactics of jumping over the black holes a great deal. Now there the black holes were random, but what would happen if you could plan them? The next NYEED game will feature this rule change and will be a 7x7 tourney format unless I am convinced otherwise. I am itching to get this game started, so it will start as soon as it is filled! You get a life of game sub, and the game itself is FREE!! Sandy Kenny, Mike Barno, and John Schultz are signed up. Off an offhanded suggestion in the NYEED press, we'll call it Nelson Mandela. Just four more and we'll get started! Come on, this one will be REALLY exciting!!

I also would really like to open a game of Breaking Away. Is there any interest at all?? Well, John Schultz and the game's designer John Harrington are interested. Others?? See the important note on this opening at the top of the szine! You don't need to own the game to play, I'm going to use Keith Thomasson's house rules that include the ``how to play the game.'' I printed Keith's rules a few issues back, but some of the shaded parts didn't reproduce properly. I'll print the rules properly next issue. I thank John Harrington for encouraging me in this. Hey, this game is free!!

Otherwise Conrad von Metzke is the editor and publisher of Pontevedria, the game openings listing, if you're interested in other game openings. Send Conrad a SASE for the latest issue to: Conrad von Metzke, 4374 Donald Avenue, San Diego, CA 92117.

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1995 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1995 IS JULY 11TH, 1998

Spring 1995

BRITAIN (Johnson): f edi-NWG, f gib-SAO, f liv-IRI, f lon-NTH.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): f ale-ESA, a asw-CAI, f cai-RED.

FRANCE (Andruschak): f bor-NAV, a LYO-swi, a MAR-swi, a par-AUV.

GERMANY (Rauterberg): f ber-BHM, a fra-RUH, f ham-DEN, a mun-AUS.

ITALY (Ozog): a MIL h, f nap-MAL, a rom-VEN, f ven-ADR.

POLAND (Sasseville): f gda-LIT, a kra-CZE, a war-BIE.

RUSSIA (Goranson): a gor-MOS, a mos-LAT, a mur-FIN, f ROS-geo, f stp-GOB.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): f bar-WME, a mad-AND, a SVE S a mad-and. TURKEY (Pollard): a ada-ARM, f ANK-geo, f izm-IST, a ist-BUL.

UKRAINE (Partridge): a kha-DON, a kie-POD, a ode-RUM, f sev-EBS.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($5)

EcidLor of aol.com

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920 ($5)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202 ($5)

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

prosit of execpc.com

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($5)

ElfEric of Juno.com.

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of aol.com

RUSSIA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of aol.com

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 126 S. Park, Oberlin, OH 44074, (440) 774-2928 ($5)

sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Elmer Drive, Nashua, NH 03062-1722, (603) 882-3523 ($9)

rebhuhn of rocketmail.com

Game Notes:

1) Hope everyone can follow the map and results. Here we go!! There are 64 centers with 33 required for a win, don't worry, no one will get close for some time.

2) Check out the Modern Dip web page at: http://www.dragonfire.net/~ Cyberia/modern.htm

3) Note that Eric has changed his E-Mail address.

Press:

(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): ``Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough; Picking up a map and looking gorgeous; There's a germ that needs downloading; Spread it all around.'' From the song title of the first line, off the new album Me by the incomparable Mekons.

(ANDRUSCHAK-JIM BURGESS): TAP #203 with a deadline of May 9 arrived on Wednesday, 20 May. Here are my revised orders and press. Please discard previous letters of orders and press. Thank you.

(SPAIN to GERMANY): How are you? Have you been considering what Russia said 'cause so far he has been proving right in recent days. (BERLIN to CREATURES OF THE EAST): Look, spare us the effluvia of your overvivid memories of the past. We're sick of hearing about what happened 50 years ago, and worse, having to apologize for it. Here we have finally reunited as a whole nation, and already you seek to crowd us with your territorial claims and fantasies of ``restitution". We will not give up an inch, and all we seek is elbow room to allow our working with what we've got.

(SPAIN to GORGO): If Britain attacks me, can you please attack Britain for me? For I'll stand no more from him!

(ENGLAND-SPAIN): And I thought Rich was good at getting people angry at him!

(SPAIN to BRITAIN): AND what's it to yah???

(ITA- > TUR): Let's go check out those Great Pyramids...it will be just like Dark Side of the Moon, man.

(SPAIN to TURKEY): Do you agree not to attack Italy or do I pass?

(ITA- > UKR): Pope John-Paul-Ringo-George is pleased to announce the opening of a new Hard Rock Archdiocese in Kiev.

(UKRAINE - GM): I forget your house rules. Are all games completely black press? ((Yes!)) Not that there was any harm from it since it was a lame attempt at impersonation, but the press labelled from Ukraine to Poland last time was not mine. Are there any reserved names? ((Nope.))

(PSEUDO-BOOB to UKRAINE): Okay you lame brain, where's all the press? What's with this decrepit performance? And don't give me any of that crap about having kids, work, a life, this is a GAME here, get with it.

(UKRAINE to PSEUDO-BOOB): But, but I have a kid...um I mean I have a li..., wo.., oh hell, I'm sorry, I'll try to do better, really, I will.

(ITA- > SPA): So which one of us was going to get the Tunis ``Depot"? (THE SHRINK to BOARD): The Spanish ambassador was recently diagnosed as suffering from a rare form of megalomania. His delusions of grandeur are tempered only by his accusatory and suicidal tendencies. Therefore it is suggested that all invading armies carry a large supply of straight jackets and happy pills in the event that this is a contagious disease.

(SPAIN to FRANCE): If you attack me, it will be light to pay.

(RUSSIA-ALL): And we're off!!!!! Some are just more off than others.

(SPAIN to POLAND): You have 'til Spring of 1998 to write back. Otherwise I'll see to it that it will be your last days as the Pole.

(RUSSIA-POLAND): Ve only vant Belarus; ve vill make no further territorial demands. (SPAIN to RUSSIA): How friendly are you to Ukraine?

(RUSSIA-UKRAINE): Are we running? And where are we running to?

(SPAIN to ANOTHER MONSTER): Do be kind, attack France, especially if he doesn't stay out of Spain.

(ANDRUSCHAK-PLAYERS): And so it starts. We have written each other cheesy letters, sent cheesy faxes and e-mail, and made cheesy phone calls. And now... ``these orders to the armies and fleets are all exposed at once.'' I've always liked the sexual overtones of that word ``exposed'' in the rule book.

(SPAIN to BOARD): When we are few we will have unresistible pull to a far away land, waiting for the time of the gathering. You never knew we were among you until now.... (there can be only one.) It just won't be me. Where is Conner Meclude when you really need him?

(RUSSIA-SPAIN): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(SPAIN to G.M. AND BOARD): You all familiar with Highlander?

(BOOB to SPAIN): Ummm, not me...

(MADRID-PARIS): Boy, you DO have an interesting sex life. I e-mailed your automobile repair mechanic last night, and he informed me that you had just blown a seal. And we all know why you Highlanders wear kilts.... because the sound of zippers makes the sheep nervous.

(FRANCE-SPAIN): I still wish you would explain why you sent me FOUR postcards, made THREE phonecalls, and wrote ONE rambling letter to inform me that you intend to attack me. I have never had the slightest intention of attacking you, but if you MUST force me to defend myself in the south, so be it. I still think you are making a MAJOR strategic blunder. However, to paraphrase the philosopher Robert Ingersol, in Diplomacy there are no rewards or punishments.... there are only consequences. (Had to work in at least one philosopher to keep the GM happy.)

For the record, my fleet move is NOT to fight for Portugal. Portugal is yours. Just stay there. The fleet in NAV is powerless to attack MAD or BAR. It just makes sure your fleet in Portugal doesn't get ideas about Bordeaux. My Paris Army is moving into Marseilles next season for more defense.

(SPAIN to THE TERMINATOR): Destroy ummm, ah, just um uh, destroy, well, ich wiess nicht. (ANDRUSCHAK-MUSIC LOVERS): The Doctor Demento show has moved to 11PM-1AM on Sunday evenings, far far too late for me to stay up and listen to as I need to get up at 5:30AM every work day.

(ASIDE to GM): Yes, I have heard ``Cows With Guns'' on this show. Also, ``I'm a Werecow''.

(SPAIN to THE GM): We will be back at the same time, same place, same mailbox, tschuss.

(PALACE OF VERSAILLES): Prime Minister Andruschak sat at the head of the table. His subordinates awaited his opening statements. ``Ladies and Gentlemen, I have grave news. Britain has informed us that a Triple Alliance of Spain, Germany, and Italy will attack us soon, but that Britain will stay out of it if we give them Belgium. Germany has informed us that a Triple Alliance of Spain, Britain, and Italy will attack us soon, but that Germany will stay out of it if we give them Belgium. Italy has informed us that a Triple Alliance of Spain, Germany, and Britain will attack us soon, but that Italy will stay out of it if we give them Switzerland. Spain has informed us that a Triple Alliance of Britain, Germany, and Italy will attack us soon, but that Spain will stay out of it if we give them Monaco.''

``All our diplomatic resources have been devoted to this problem, and all have come to the same drastic conclusion. Like it or not, SOMEBODY is telling the truth!'' A gasp of horror filled the room. ``I will, of course, write a stiff note of protest to Jim Burgess of the International Court about this severe breach of diplomatic protocol. Telling the truth is unheard of in Diplomacy, so we must be prepared for the worst. If this vile idea of telling the truth spreads, it will mean the end of international relations as we know them.''

A voice at the bottom of the table inquired, ``But what of the eastern powers?''

``To date, we have only had minimal contact with the Five Eastern Powers. Indeed, Russia and Egypt refuse to communicate at all. As such, we cannot tell if this concept of telling the truth is spreading to them.''

(SPAIN to G.M.): Thanks again for the help and let's have a good game. Maybe my gramar will get better near the end??????

(SPAIN to BRITAIN): Remember fall is the deadline. Till then I'll be building in neutral.

(SPAIN to FRANCE): Alliance??

(MADRID-ROME): ``Patre Troiae X Annos Longos Proeliato Nihil Mihi Datum Nisi Haec Tunicula Pediculosa.'' (Translation: My Father Fought 10 Long Years at Troy and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.)

(SPAIN to ITALY): Was up?

(GLORIOUS VICTORY DEPARTMENT): Wyoming's American Legion, in a unanimous vote, demanded that the two ``Bells of Balangiga'' remain in the US. On 28 September 1901, Philippine guerrillas used the tolling of the two bells to launch a surprise attack on US forces, killing 45 Americans and wounding 22. Then they left the town of Balangiga.

Brigidier General Jacob Smith told his troops, ``I want no prisoners. I wish you to kill and burn, the better it will please me.'' US soldiers proceeded to kill every person over age 10 in the town, about 5,000, and the two bells were brought back to the USA as a prize for this Glorious Victory. Repeated requests by the Philippine Government for their return have been refused. (Source: LA Times newspaper for 8 May 1998. Submitted by Harry Andruschak to explain to one of his TAP correspondents why he refuses to have anything to do with the American Legion.)

(SPAIN to ITALY): Remember I still want TUN for the two reasons I told you about and I'm not making it much of a secret I want to be there for probable cause to aid you and as a way to attack Britain which between me and him that's no big secret either. And when I take MOR I'll convoy an Army into WSA that way I protect my back and yours. Me and Jeff been playing tactics against each other, him as Egypt I as Spain, and WSA is a major key to conquering him, but we must act fast for he knows it too. ((And now, if they didn't already, so does everyone else.))

(RUSSIA-GERMANY): I hope that it wasn't necessary.

(MAP MUSINGS II): Uhhhh, haven't you ever seen Portugal in the standard variant?

(GORANSON-ANDRUSCHAK): You? A Tour II slime? Do you know how many people I'd have to kill off to get a Tour II bid?

(GORANSON-ANDRUSCHAK II): Dr. Demento? We haven't seen him in years here in Buffalo. Fortunately we do have ``Schickele Mix." My fav DD song was Julie Brown's ``Everybody Run; The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun." Somehow it's just not as funny as it used to be.

(GORANSON-ANDRUSCHAK III): Make that the 33 cent stamp. Oh, on FTF players, doesn't Hohn Cho live in your area? I hear that chofak is pretty good.

(GORANSON-BURGESS): He'll know what it means.

(RUSSIA-FRANCE): Are there Russian speakers in Belgium? I knew we didn't get ALL the safe houses cleared out.

(FRANCE-POLAND): Thank you for your letter of 12 May. We must keep an open mind about the possibility that Spain honestly thinks I will roll over and play dead once he attacks me.

(RUSSIA-FRANCE): Horsewhip? Now you're talking my language!!! But I was saving myself for Wendy the Wonder Sheep.

(RUSSIA-UKRAINE): The IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

(PBEM PLAYER-PBM PLAYER): ``Hello there! I'm calling to make sure you got my voice mail message. I left the voice mail to make sure you knew I'd sent an e-mail. The e-mail was to make sure you had received my fax. The fax was to make sure you had seen the letter I wrote. You did? Wonderful! What did you think of my proposals? Yes, I know the deadline is past. Why are you laughing?''

(AMBASSADOR ATATURK POLLARD): I would rather not seek GunBoat Diplomacy, but certain Powers have not given my nation the simple courtesy of a word, letter, or even a sign. The Turkish military has taken steps which is hoped will bring forth some small measure of action.... It has begun.

(FRANCE-TURKEY): Thank you for both letters. Alas, you can expect no help from me for a long time. You will have to deal with Egypt all alone. Lotsa luck.

(RUSSIA-ONLINE FOLKS): Check out the Modern Dip site at:

http://www.dragonfire.net/~ Cyberia/modern.htm written by the creator of this variant, Vincent Mous-Harboesgaard. This is where I get all my best strategy from the excellent Russian articles that have been published.

(HARRY ANDRUSCHAK-RICK DESPER): Thank you for your statistics about the results of Modern Diplomacy to date. But I think you have a vastly overrated opinion of France's position. France does NOT have reasonable access to any set of SCs. Monaco, yes. But Italy and Germany will battle for Switzerland, Britain and Germany for Belgium, and Spain and Britain for Portugal. What else is there?

Actually France in Modern is very much like Austria in Standard.....

Standard vs. Modern: Austria = France; Turkey = Spain; Russia = Britain; Germany = Germany.

Furthermore, the reduced vulnerability to Britain does not make up for the increased vulnerability to Spain and Italy. Any multi-power attack on France should have no trouble tearing it apart in the short run. True, Spain will get more out of this than Britain and/or Italy, and Germany will cop it next, but the hobby is full of players who think in terms of short-term dot grabbing over long term balance of powers.

What surprises ME in your listing are the poor ratings for Italy and Britain. Heck, I would have rated Italy as the strongest power in Modern, with Russia as #2 and Britain as #3. Yet, it is Ukraine which is #2?

And now THE questions that need to be answered by an authority.... how many SCs in this game and how many required to win? ((64 and 33....))

(POLAND to NEIGHBORS): To borrow a term from the German lexicon, all I really want is a little Lebensraum for my people. Rest assured that all ethnic minorities within my borders will be treated fairly thus there is no pretext for any invasions. International Red Cross volunteers are welcome any time to verify Poland's open and Democratic government.

(SPAIN to UKRAINE): How friendly are you to both Poland and Russia.

(RUSSIA-BRITAIN): I didn't know what the Germans were going to do, which is why I made the A FIN move. If I was attacking you it would have been A LAP. So don't panic. (ROME- > WORLD): Italy is offering well wishes, as well as several neutral centers within the Roman sphere of influence, to all its neighbors who are friendly to the Empire. To its enemies we offer condolences, and you will get nothing else but a horse head in your bed.

(ITA- > EGY): Our purpose of moving to the Maltese Sea is to conduct military exercizes and keep watch over any suspicious dealings of the despot Momar. I mean you no harm (said with a Yoda voice).

(SPAIN to UNCLE JEFFY POOH): Tell me again why Uncle Chip stopped playing you in tactics in Diplomacy?

(EGYPT): Just to set the record straight, Sean O'Donnell is my older brother Rick's second son. However, the rumor that has always spread silently through the family is that Rick was adopted! ;-)

(ENGLAND-ITALY): Good luck Eric. Being stuck between the Ohio duo cannot be easy. Then again, maybe it will be.

(MADRID-LONDON): ``Prithee, sir, if 'tis forthright delivery of thine soul into the hands of Beelzebub thou seeketh, methinks thou hast divined a method of unfailing certainty.''

(SPAIN to ITALY): I hope you don't mind, but I need to build.

(MUNCHEN to DIE HINDERTUR IN SPAIN): Smile widely when you start talking about entering the Ruhr. We hate foreigners coming here, stealing the jobs of good honest native Germans. We hate foreigners coming to steal our seats at movie theaters, or speaking loudly to steal our thunder.

(DAVE - JIM): Well, another two szines that I subscribe to have announced folds (CCC and CtR). We really are winding down at an alarming rate. Anyone want to buy a subszine, cheap?

(JIM - DAVE): Well, you know you're always welcome here, but I hear that you are trying to work something else out. Good luck, I am feeling very lonely....

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1903 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

Winter 1902

BRITAIN (Johnson): bld f aden; has f ADEN, a PUN, a HYD, f WIO, f HK, f SIN,

a KAM, f PER, f CEY, a BEN, f SCS, f MAL.

CHINA (Goranson): rem a tib, f ecs; has a NAN, a URU, a U.BUR, a ASS, a CHU, a MAC.

FRANCE (Sasseville): bld f coc, f ann, a ton; has f COC, f ANN, a TON, a MAY, a CAN, a RAN, f FOR.

HOLLAND (Desper): bld f bor; has f BOR, f SIO, f CS, a SUM, f JS, f DAV.

JAPAN (Dwyer): bld f kyu; has f KYU, a FUS, f VLA, f YS, f SOJ, a IRK.

RUSSIA (Williams): bld f ode, a mos, a omsk, f p.art, PLAYS ONE SHORT (see note);

has f ODE, a MOS, a OMSK, f P.ART, a TAB, a SEM, a MON, a KAG, f SEO(WC), a SIK, f ANG.

TURKEY (Tallman): has f ARA.S, f MED, a SUD, f GOA, f PG.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Jonas Johnson, 3649 SE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97202, (503) 238-4430 ($8)

EcidLor of aol.com

CHINA: Rich Goranson, 10 Hertel Avenue #208, Buffalo, NY 14207-2532, (716) 876-9374 ($5)

ForlornH of aol.com

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($5)

Djrolandb of aol.com

HOLLAND: Rick Desper, 34 Woodbridge Avenue, Highland Park, NJ 08904, (908) 985-0654. (E-Mail)

desper of math.rutgers.edu

JAPAN: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947 ($7)

wllmsfmly of earthlink.net

TURKEY: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($0)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Don can only build in the four centers that were among his ORIGINAL holdings. In particular, he can't build in Tas. I double-checked this in the rules. You can only build in centers that you originally held. To make this clearer in future Supply Center Charts, I'll capitalize the centers which are ``buildable''.

2) Since someone asked, let me remind people of the security measures I use on orders. For E-Mail, I always send a ``confirmation'' of orders received back by E-Mail. If you don't receive said confirmation, I didn't receive the orders. Likewise, if you receive confirmation for orders you didn't send, you should worry. For phone orders, I do not use ``codewords'' as some people do, but you will find that I will do little double checks when people call me to ensure I am speaking with the person who says they are speaking. Lastly, for postal orders, I always look at postmarks, I always check signatures carefully and I take careful note of the style used by all players postally (type of typewriter/printer/handwriting, ways of writing orders, etc.). I also save ALL past orders to compare. If you send me orders in an ``unusual'' style, you would do well to make note of it.

Press:

(CHINA-RUSSIA (aka the Tim Rice Quote of the Month)): ``Well done, Judas...Good old Judas" - ``Judas' Death" from Jesus Christ, Superstar.

(SCULLY to MULDER): Large numbers of UFO reports have been coming out of Russia in the past week. We must fly there quickly and investigate. Is it possible that the Russian government is under alien influence? (MULDER to SCULLY): You know I do not believe in all that any more. (SCULLY to MULDER): You will believe again someday. Watch your back!

(ANONYMOUS): ``Legio Patria Nostro" These were the words heard as French Foreign Legion troops continued the march through China. After defeating the indomitable General Tso and eating his chicken, the French commandeered the services of ancient leader Sun Tsu to help them achieve victory over the Chinese dogs.

(CHINA-BRITAIN): You know all those bad things I said about you. Well I'd like to take them back so I can use them all on Don.

(CHINA-HOLLAND): Uhhhh...you are still here, right?

(CHINA-JAPAN): I think Russia has given us a little hint. Time for us little guys to band together. My forces (what's left of them) are at your disposal.

(CHINA-TURKEY): You know, since Vladivostok is occcupied that means three of the wicked witch's builds are heaaded in your direction. I think its time we reevaluated our strategy.

(FRANCE to JAPAN): ``Luke, use the force" Congratulations on your graduation. As a present I solemnly swear this oath. ``I will not sally forth from my island bases at Formosa and into Japanese waters", as long as you realize that any southern expedition would be foolish.

(ME to JIM): No one gave me a good enough reason to change, but I am glad to know I can.

(JIM to ME): No problem, any time.

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1909 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

Summer 1909

AUSTRIA (Ellis): has a TYO, a TRI, f ION.

ENGLAND (Pollard): has f TUN.

FRANCE (Dwyer): has a PIC, f NTH, a HOL, f TYH,

f NWG, f LON, a EDI, f BAR, a MUN, a BUR.

GERMANY (Emmert): has a VIE.

RUSSIA (Sherwood): has f STP(NC), a GAL, a UKR, a NWY, a SIL, a BOH,

f SMY, a BUD, f SWE, a SER, f GRE, a KIE, f HEL, a BUL, a BER, f AEG.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Randy Ellis, General Delivery, Roosevelt, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190 ($10)

ENGLAND: Kent Pollard, Box 491, Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone National Park, WY 82190, ($5)

FRANCE: Luke Dwyer, 49 Middlesex Drive, Slingerlands, NY 12159, (518) 439-5796 ($4)

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Mark Kinney, 3613 Coronado Drive, Louisville, KY 40241, (502) 426-8165

alberich of iglou.com

RUSSIA: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367 ($4)

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com TURKEY: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 722-4029 ($3) GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) Is the game over or is in not? Check in next time.

2) In the meantime, a slight adjustment of Randy's address.....

Press:

(SHERWOOD to BARNO): Common roadkill varieties in Hermit: Sasseville, Kinney, Emmert and Pollard.

(ELLIS to BARNO): The roadkill that Asheley seemed to prefer was dogs. Indeed, I have a photograph of a rather grisly one still; to remember her by.... I'll always think of her when I see a roadkill... (tiny violins playing in the background...)

(SD to VB): Unfortunately, you will not live to see the end of this game. I know our deal was for me to let you survive as long as you fed me France and Austria's moves, but quite frankly your intelligence hasn't been worth much of late. Are you sure they are writing you?

(AUSTRIA to RUSSIA): I don't blame you for not writing. Why should you? What would you say?? It appears that no one in this game will be writing soon. Sigh. Gentlemen, you can blame this one on me. I allied with him. I got stabbed by him. I NMRed.... Least Valuable Player....

(SD to YELLOWSTONE): Trying to get a local, in-state vacation going this year after last year's circle trip through the Southwest. Maybe just a week in the mini-van in June to visit the Sierra's ignored national parks, Sequoia and King's Canyon. Lot of snow up there this winter, though. We'll make it to Yellowstone eventually.

(AUSTRIA to GM): Looks like I'd better get one last COA in before.... it would be interesting to look back on 1995IH and see how many total COA's I had. I bet I set some sort of record.... ((I think you may be right. I'll try to remember to do that as I gather endgame stats....))

(SHERWOOD to COMMUNICATIVE TRIO): I know you guys are bored with only your own mundane scribblings to entertain you now that I have stopped blessing you with my thoughtful, insightful missives, but you must admit this is nothing more than a chess game for me now. Rather than pine for the good old days when I deigned to write you, I respectfully suggest you write one another to avoid the rather embarrassing ``OTM" suffix the GM keeps affixing to your futile orders.

(WESTERN AUSTRIA-HUNGARY): Amidst flaming houses, dead men and horses, and artillery booming in the not-so-distant hills, Hungarian peasants make their way West towards Italy. Others, more solemn, opt to stay. ``No sense in leaving'', a white-bearded, old man mumbles, ``The damn Russians will be in Rome too before long.'' Rumors that the famed Von Steuben would return appear to be false. A nurse in North Africa, where he was in treatment for alcoholism, reported that the General left the hospital suddenly, saying, ``Rehab is for quitters!''

(SHERWOOD to GM): Respectfully suggest, since there are no retreats this summer, that should you get orders for everyone for the fall by the deadline, you adjudicate fall as well. Prolonging this game further would constitute cruel and unusual punishment for my victims.

(GM to SHERWOOD): Yeah, but don't you think they need all the time they can get to fashion a defense?? You never know, it might help. I also don't think they're ready to give in...

(YELLOWSTONE to SAN DIEGO): Then I shall die, for concession is not an option...

(TURBOTAX): Yes, it is a shame the IRS won't go paperless yet. And you know they have copies of your W-2, so why must you send in copies as well. 'nuther couple of years and the IRS will catch up. Further in the future is electronic clearing of W-2s, where your W-2 is sent to you in electronic form, and you feed it to TurboTax in electronic from. Whole lot less...taxing.

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1910 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1910 IS JULY 11TH, 1998

Spring 1910

ENGLAND (Lowrey): f edi-NTH, a lon-YOR, a HOL-kie, f iri-MID, f BAR h,

f DEN-hel, f swe-BAL, a STP-mos.

FRANCE (Rauterberg): a par-BUR, a mar-PIE, a bel-RUH, a KIE-ber, f spa(sc)-GOL,

f WES S TURKISH f rom-tyh, a TYO-mun, a ven-ROM.

GERMANY (Kent): a BOH S a mun, a SIL-ber, f HEL-kie, a MUN S a sil-ber.

RUSSIA (Williams): a SEV S TURKISH a ukr-mos.

TURKEY (Sherwood): a CON-rum, a ser-TRI, a bul-SER, a RUM-gal, a ukr-MOS, f BLA C a con-rum,

a GAL-sil, f ADR C a tri-apu, f rom-TYH, a VIE S a ser-tri, f TUN-tyh, a tri-APU, f ION S a tri-apu.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Terry Tallman, 3805 SW Lake Flora Road, Port Orchard, WA 98367, (360) 874-0386 ($7)

ttallman of linknet.kitsap.lib.wa.us

ENGLAND: Michael Lowrey, 4322 Water Oak Road, Charlotte, NC 28211

mlowrey of charlotte.infi.net

ENGLAND EMERITUS: Tom Nash, 202 Settlers Road, St. Simons Island, GA 31522, (912) 634-1753 ($4)

75763.707 of CompuServe.COM

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 ($10)

prosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Doug Kent, 10214 Black Hickory Rd., Dallas, TX 75243 (214) 234-8386 ($5)

73567.1414 of CompuServe.COM ITALY: Simon Billenness, 452 Park Drive, Apt. 7, Boston, MA 02215, (617) 423-6655 ($5)

sbillenness of frdc.com RUSSIA: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (805) 297-3947

wllmsfmly of earthlink.net

RUSSIA EMERITUS: Ken Peel, 12041 Eaglewood Court, Silver Spring, MD 20902, (301) 949-4055 ($5)

KEN_PEEL of hagel.senate.gov

TURKEY: Keith Sherwood, 8873 Pipestone Way, San Diego, CA 92129, (619) 484-8367

ksher of cts.com or Keith_Sherwood of Intuit.com

TURKEY EMERITUS: Pete Gaughan, 1236 Detroit Av. #7, Concord, CA 94520-3651, (510) 825-2165 ($4)

gaughan of ix.netcom.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes (back from the tropopause): 1) The game specific standby list for this game includes Garret Schenck, Cathy Cunning Ozog, Mike Mills, Dick Martin, Vince Lutterbie, and Eric Brosius in reverse alphabetical order (note that Garret is STILL missing... someone find him!). Guest press from potential standbys would be a ``good thing'' if they wanted to be chosen.

2) Oh, I give up, should I just drop the requirement that anyone failing to submit press for two consecutive turns will be dropped from the game!? Don, of course, dodged the bullet by not moving (technically breaking my edict) but supporting instead.... pish, posh!

Press: (LONDON to WORLD): Germany has invested his last real stab at unpredictability for naught. His flimsy plans to support A Mun-Kie and another army into Mun lend him an air of futility, rather than an outlet jet for his pent up rage. As the Hun surrenders his possessions in the East, he invites the Sultan to further cut his forces in half while the West crunches up what remains. He has brought himself to a sorry end.

(PARIS to ANKARA): Doing this is not our first choice, but it runs a strong enough second.... While things are getting too easy for you on land, we can't simply roll over and sink in the Southern seas!

(KEITH to JIM): After all of Terry's felonious attacks on press-less Don, I doubt your misdemeanor slap on the wrist will even register. Duck's hide is thick.

(BOOB to TRO): You got it..... since he sent in an order to support you, I was thinking of voiding it, but I looked carefully at what I said. I just said he couldn't move. Supporting isn't moving, so you get your support!!

(ENGLAND-ALL): Just so you guys know, I'll be on vacation June 24 - July 8.

(HERMIT RUSSIA to COVINGTON CROSS FRANCE): Those of us sprinting to the finish in '09 can only admire your stamina in the 10k.

(GERMANY - ALL): My fave disc now if Go! by Letters to Cleo. Of course they are not without a label, so I don't know who will release their fourth album. ((Yeah, I like that record too, it's deceptively interesting!)) I have a nice crush on Kay Hanley, too bad she just married Mike a few months ago...boo hoo.....I also love their first album, but find the second a bit boring.

I'm holding my write-up on Ghods too until I have more space and time. The game history AND all of the negotiating letters may be found in the Diplomatic Pouch showcase:

http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Showcase/ghodstoo/

This is FASCINATING reading. I've not heard any comments on it yet, but I'm sure I will. I apologize for some of the formatting difficulties in the way the program edited the press.

AUSTRIA: Edi Birsan (edi of mgames.com);

ENGLAND: Jamie Dreier (James_Dreier of brown.edu);

FRANCE: John Barkdull (uejon of ttacs1.ttu.edu);

GERMANY: Pitt Crandlemire (pittc of syncon.com);

ITALY: Cal White (diplomat of idirect.com);

RUSSIA: Mark Fassio (jm2365 of exmail.usma.army.mil, fazfam of juno.com);

TURKEY: Hohn Cho (hohncho of kaiwan.com).

GM: Jim Burgess (burgess of world.std.com)

USIN judge: judge of kleiman.indianapolis.in.us

((The main point of this game was to take some successful E-Mail players, some successful FTF tournament players, and some successful PBM players, put them in a game together using the Judge E-Mail technology and see what happens. The game ended in a France/England/Turkey DIAS draw.))

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1916 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

Summer 1916

FRANCE (Rauterberg): R f ion-NAP; has f ENG, f WES, f HEL, f DEN, a BEL,

a BUR, a RUH, f BAL, a HOL, a PIE, a EDI,

f ADR, a VEN, f NAP, f APU, f NWY, f TUN.

GERMANY (Zarr): R f bal-GOB; has a MUN, a TYO, a BER, a KIE, a VIE, a STP, f GOB.

TURKEY (Johnson): has f AEG, a TRI, a LVN, f ION,

a BUD, a BOH, a SER, a GAL, f ALB, f GRE.

Addresses of the Participants

FRANCE: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Drive, Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

prosit of execpc.com

GERMANY: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

RUSSIA: Eric Brosius, 53 Bird Street, Needham MA 02192 ($5)

72060.1540 of CompuServe.COM

TURKEY: Stan Johnson, 1254 East Broadway Road #56, Mesa, AZ 85204, (602) 668-1105

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) A GTF draw is proposed, please vote with your Fall orders. I don't expect we'll be getting unanimous support for that one, eh?

2) Is the game over, will I finally be able to reveal the hidden Russian endgame statement that I have been holding for lo these many years?

Press:

(PARIS): We suggest that all parties lay down their arms and submit peacefully to the whims of the Imperial French Ministry. ((There is no proposal to that effect, just the three way draw proposal. We'll have to play it out to the ``bitter end''....))

(GER-TUR): I lost this game myself. I made the mistake of sharing too much information with Paul, who I thought was my ally. I screwed up, and that is the end of it. Paul saw the opportunity and took it, and I see no reason to prolong this game any further. Good job Paul, you didn't do anything I would not have done myself. In fact, I was planning to do the same thing to you, you just beat me to it! Congratulations on a well played game!

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1918 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1919 IS JULY 11TH, 1998

Fall 1918

AUSTRIA (Davis): a BUD h.

FRANCE (Zarr): a BUR S a mar, a GAS S a mar, f BRE S f mid, a MAR S f spa(nc),

a POR S f spa(nc), f SPA(NC) S f mid, f MID S f spa(nc), f ENG S f mid.

GERMANY (Jones): a kie-HOL, a GAL-bud, a MOS-sev, a VIE S a gal-bud, a sil-BOH,

a MUN S a tyo, a TYO S a vie, a yor-LVP, a ruh-BEL, a UKR-rum, f NTH S a ruh-bel, f nwg-EDI.

TURKEY (Weiss): a BUL S a rum, f alb-ION, f BLA S a sev, a RUM S AUSTRIAN a bud, a VEN-tyo,

a TRI S AUSTRIAN a bud, a SER S AUSTRIAN a bud, f GOL S f pie-mar,

a SEV S FRENCH f mid-stp(nc) (imp), f WES S f naf-mid, f NAF-mid, f PIE-mar, f ADR S a tri.

Supply Center Chart

AUSTRIA (Davis):

bud

(has 1, even)

FRANCE (Zarr):

bre,par,por,spa,mar,lon

(has 8, rem 2)

GERMANY (Jones):

mun,kie,ber,den,hol,bel,swe,nwy,

(has 12, bld 2)

stp,mos,war,vie,lvp,edi

TURKEY (Weiss):

ank,con,smy,bul,rum,sev,gre,

(has 13, even)

tun,nap,rom,ven,ser,tri

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Rick Davis, 2009 Bodega Avenue, Petaluma, CA 94952, (707) 773-1044

redavis914 of aol.com FRANCE: Harold Zarr, 215 Glen Drive, Iowa Falls, IA 50126-1957, (515) 648-2821

GERMANY: Charles Jones, 1722 Quail Circle, Corona, CA 91720-4155, (909) 735-8981

RUSSIA: Eric Schlegel, 314 Fords Lane, Aberdeen, MD 21001, (410) 272-3314

TURKEY: Richard Weiss, 500 Beale St. # 104, San Francisco, CA 94105, (415) 512-7221 rcw of sirius.com

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

Game Notes:

1) A FAGT draw and a concession to Germany are proposed. Please vote with your Winter orders. Failure to vote vetoes both proposals as usual.

Press:

(TURKEY THE turkey - GERMANY THE Germ): Your press repartee is the most entertainment I've had in a Dip game in years. Why would I want to stop this game early?

(FRA-GER): I have no problem with you taking my centers. I will withdraw my units as you take supply centers so that the stalemate line that I have developed remains intact until you win or we get a three way draw. I can safely withdraw my units in the following sequence and still keep the stalemate line intact: 1) A Burgundy, 2) F English Channel. If you can move your fleets around England, we can then exchange one of yours for mine in the Mid-Atlantic Ocean, and then I can eliminate that fleet. That will give you three more builds. Will that be enough to force the issue, do you think?

(TURKEY THE turkey - FRANCE THE Fannie (and that's putting it politely)): I am prepared to flat out lose. I will vote yes on the 4-way one more time and forever no on a 3-way. If you really want the game to be over by giving your SCs to Germany the Germ, exercise your best ((sic)) judgment (Boob, probably ``best" should be italicized with ``sic" after it, as one would if one used ``intelligent" as an adjective around your name. So, as you usually edit for correct English usage anyway, feel free about the ``sic.") and lose also. Remember there is still a lot of fun that could be had in this game.

(BOOB to TURKEY THE turkey): How was that? My best ((sic)) judgment, using all my vaunted intelligence ((sic)) suggests that there aren't good removal choices for France which will hold the stalemate line. But who said I had judgment or was intelligent?

(FRA-TUR): Your press in the last issue leads me to believe that you think I place some value on your opinion. Let me assure you that is not the case. I played this game poorly, and Charles was the only true ally I had. I will support him in any moves he wishes to make to the fullest extent possible. I believe that my reputation in the other games that I have played in speaks for itself. Beyond that, I have nothing more to say to you.

(GERMANY >> > TURKEY): I promise you will lose in your sleep. It won't hurt.

(MIKE B to HAROLD Z.): Would you prefer to cede your position to someone who is interested in playing Diplomacy?

(TURKLELURKLE >> BOOB): Why is Russia listed in the players' section but not England or Italy? Have you forgotten (again) to put the ``R's" on the map and in the orders? Is this a variant of your black hole, Reynolds variant one part of the game is Fog of War? Come on Dumbo).

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1912 IS JUNE 20TH, 1998

Summer 1912

AUSTRIA (Pustilnik): R a ser-GRE; has a GRE.

ENGLAND (Hoffman): has a STP, a MOS, f LON, f DEN, f NAO.

FRANCE (James): has a PAR, a MAR, a PIC, f ENG, a RUH,

f MID, f LVP, a EDI, a SER, f BUL(SC), f SMY, f TYH, a BUD, a VIE, f CON. GERMANY (Emmert): has f NTH, a MUN, f BEL, f KIE,

a SIL, a GAL, a BOH, a SEV, a RUM.

RUSSIA (Schultz): has a ANK.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Michael Pustilnik, 140 Cadman Plaza West, #13J, Brooklyn, NY 11201, (718) 625-0651 ($7)

ENGLAND: Karl Hoffman, 395 Imperial Way #220, Daly City, CA 94015, (650) 991-2394

KarlHoffmn of aol.com

FRANCE: Drew James, 8356 Radian Path, Baldwinsville, NY 13027-9357, (315) 652-1956

dkbn of msn.com

GERMANY: Steve Emmert, 1752 Grey Friars Chase, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, (757) 471-1842

SEMMERT of city.virginia-beach.va.us ITALY: Dan Gorham, PO Box 279, Belmopan, Belize, CENTRAL AMERICA

Danielg of btl.net RUSSIA: John Schultz, #19390, Marion County Jail II, 730 East Washington Street, Indianapolis, IN 46202 TURKEY: Harry Andruschak, PO Box 5309, Torrance, CA 90510-5309, (310) 835-9202

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, (401) 351-0287

GM EMERITUS: Garret Schenck, still lost, HELP!

Game Notes:

1) Is the game nearly over? We could be looking at a series of wins in the szine, or perhaps not.

Press:

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): In response to your comment on Karl Hoffman's change of area code, I enclose a newspaper article on the subject of the proliferation of area codes in southern California. Yes, the day may come when I have a separate telephone line for my internet connection and it will have a different area code than my voice phone, even though both lines enter the same room of the same house. ((See article reproduced herein, since I had an extra page available. Lucky for me, I already have my second phone line (the fax line doubles as the internet line) so they're safe in the same area code, I hope.))

(ANDRUSCHAK-GM): Since this game should end in Winter 1912, (IF France gets his act together) ((Count again, dear sir, having 17? Aye, that's likely. The magic eighteen? Perhaps, but not bloody likely.)) I think we need to remember that I was not the original player of Turkey. ((We remember.)) I was just a mere standby to rescue it from CD. I mention this in case you want to encourage the original player of Turkey to submit an endgame statement. Perhaps you should start listing his name and address gain, with myself being Turkey II. ((Just who was Turkey I??)) (Which brings to mind an old joke about the Hollywood craze for sequels. A sequel too Rodgers and Hammerstein's The King and I is being planned under the title of The King and II.)

(PIRATE CAPTAIN ANDRUSCHAK-VOCABULARY CHALLENGED HERMITS): My source for the nautical explanation of ``the bitter end'' comes from one of the finest reference books you can buy for your library. This is The Ashley Book of Knots by Clifford W. Ashley. Illustration #1660 comes with the following written comment...

(CLIFFORD W. ASHLEY-VOCABULARY CHALLENGED HERMITS): A cable is always ``turned'' around the bitts as pictured here, a turn in the starboard bitt being the reverse of a turn in the port bitt. The end of the cable abaft the bitts is the ``bitter end''. The common expression, ``reached the bitter end'', refers to a situation of extremity and has nothing at all to do with lees and dregs and other unpalatable things. It means literally that someone has ``got to the end of the rope''. ((And how fitting for the last words I'm typing and last words physically in the szine!))

Personal Note to You: