THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE #269

April 24, 2003

Produced by Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287

Accessible through Internet at burgess of world.std.com (all E-Mail addresses are reported in this format); FAX to (401) 277-9904

Web Page Address: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html

This issue is dedicated to Paul and Sandy Kenny and their family.... just because. Pray for them all that health and happiness come their way. If either of them wants to tell what's up they can, but think of them today as you receive this.

The plans are nearly all set for a "Boston Massacre" tournament in Boston at MIT on June 21-22, 2003. Make your plans now to trounce me on the Dip board!!! Show up and have a blast with a great bunch of FTF Dip players..... details follow down in the Dipdom section.

I'm sailing back on track. Berry Renken announces his wedding, details below. Rip Gooch almost slipped his next subszine issue in, but he's going to finish it next week. Dave Partridge and Michael Lowrey are in here as usual.

The postal sub price is still $1.50 per issue in the US and Canada, with double that for other foreign subbers (or $3.00 per issue sent airmail). Players in current games and standbys will continue to get the issues for free, and future game starts (except for Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy, which is free) cost $20.00 ($15.00 for a life of the game subscription and $5 for the NMR Insurance. See the revised game start announcements below!

Check out the connections in the Diplomatic Pouch with all of the information you need to play Diplomacy on the Internet at: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/

I also have taken over the Postal portion of the Pouch: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/

and TAP on the web is there at: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html

where the szine resides in html format. Presently, issues from #190 to the current issue are there, and I will be updating the back issues gradually someday. Also, check out Stephen Agar's more extensive efforts at: http://www.diplomacy-archive.com and http://www.diplomacy.co.uk

David has grabbed and reserved the HIGHLY prized name: www.szine.com!! David Wang's site used to be the best place to follow John Caruso's postal baseball league thatI am in. BUT, the site has not been updated as well in recent times. THE place to follow the league now is DICKIE-POO Martin's website: http://www.phantomempire.com where in the "files" section, "baseball" sub-section, you can see all of the individual and team level stats. Use the Telnet button in the upper left corner, that's the easiest way to do it these days. You need to sign up as a "member" to see all of the files. You, too, can chat with John Caruso there, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Really, you can. John's E-Mail address also is commishjohn of att.net if you want to send him E-Mail after all that. John still has openings, you can play RIGHT NOW! Our season is just starting so this is the right time to jump in, you can learn how to manage a team and then ease into planning the building of one. Contact him at commishjohn of att.net if you're interested in joining us or ask me for more details, this REALLY IS THE most fun thing I do in the hobby at the moment, find out why!!!

Peter Sullivan's subszine is currently "in stasis", although all the back issues can be accessed via :

http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/index.html.

Peter was saying that he would be unlikely to be starting any new games in the Octopus until "at least the start of 2002." He is now hereby declared to be in official indeterminate stasis and that date is now a "whenever". In the meantime, Rip Gooch and Dave Partridge are picking up the choo-choo game slack in TAP. Contact Rip at xyropedes of canada.com or Dave at rebhuhn of rocketmail.com for more info.

By electronic mail, through the Internet, subs are free and can be obtained automatically by sending the message: subscribe tap

to majordomo of diplom.org and messages can be sent to the entire electronic mailing list by mailing them to tap of diplom.org which will forward your message to all of the people currently on the list. The message:

unsubscribe tap

sent to majordomo of diplom.org gets you off the list. Please make careful note of that as well since you generally can get yourself off the list a lot easier than I can, and NOBODY likes to see unsubscribe messages sent to the entire list. A big, big thank you for David Kovar for setting this all up!!

THE SEARCH FOR ED HENRY - AND JERRY LUCAS FOUND!

Find Ed Henry and win the fifty buck prize!! You only have until next issue to find him before the prize drops. I want to tell Ed about Kathy and all sorts of other things. There is a "full board" there now, help me out and earn yourself some cash!!! Ed Henry was very active in the hobby in the 1980's. I don't think he's the same Ed Henry who's so famous right now working on Kiplinger's magazine (writes the Car reviews and is African American), but he could be. Ask him and find out!

Feel free to spend the time looking for some of the backlog. Let's get Tom, Bill, Gregory, Kevin, and Al found too!!! The note that Leslie Obata probably was married and had changed her name was just the clue needed to crack the case! See the details below on how Jerry Lucas was tracked down. This is a regular continuing feature of the szine and I will be introducing a new "search for" every five issues. Moreover, you can win a $25 prize for finding some previous target who went unfound in the original $50 period. That means that if Tom Hurst or Bill Quinn or Gregory Stewart or Kevin Tighe or Al Pearson is "found" from now on it is worth $25.

Winners will receive credit for Dip hobby activities that I will pay out as requested by the winner. Subscribe to szines here or abroad, run your own contests, publish a szine, finance a web page, GO TO A DIPLOMACY CONVENTION or whatever. Spend it all right away or use me as a bank to cover hobby activities for years. What must you do to win? Get me a letter to the editor for TAP from the person we're searching for.

This is very important, just finding them doesn't do it. They have to write me a letter. The final judge as to the winner of any contest will be the target himself and I reserve the right to investigate the winning entry. When you find someone I'm looking for, you should ask him to send me a letter for print that includes a verification of who "found" him.

Tim Winger (Thu, 17 Apr 2003 00:43:35 EDT)

Leslie Obata Found !

Dear Jim-Bob:

I received the latest issue of TAP, thank you. I am disappointed with myself that it took almost a month to find Leslie, but this morning, we had a nice long talk on the phone and she agreed to let me send you her yahoo email address, below. A search of public records on line, specifically the California Marriage Index showed a Leslie Obata, age 25, marrying a Dennis Tom in 1985. Subsequent searches found two Leslie Tom listings in the Bay area. I called them both. One disconnected, the other a generic prerecorded message. Left a message with my 800 number and viola. Leslie. She has been in touch with some of the old gang via email and has given me my old boss's email who was always closer to Jerry Lucas. She says that she hasn't communicated with him for a couple of years but I am pretty sure that I will have his email for you by Monday, or so. Meanwhile, I told her the deal with the reward and she found that somewhat humorous. She is willing to confirm her ID as you would like. We talked about the time that Brenton showed up at her place. She said that her friend Debbie was with her at the time. Debbie and I later married and divorced after about 6 years and I didn't know she was there when Judy Winsome got busted. Small World. We were all a bit wild back then. Anyway, after you confirm the identity, apply my $25 reward to your mailing expenses and when I find Jerry Lucas, send that $25 to Leslie. After all, it's never really about the money. Party on, we will be in touch.

Tim Winger, [email protected]

Leslie Obata Tom, [email protected]

Tim Winger (Thu, 17 Apr 2003 17:52:43 -0400)

"Lucas, Gerald R - San Mateo, CA"; [email protected]

You were right, Gerry still works for the Postal Service but just moved back to the bay area from Chicago and HQ in DC. He is retiring in January and moving to Gold Country (north east California) so I was lucky to catch him at all.

I let him know you would be writing him for confirmation of his existance.

Party on.. Tim, [email protected]

((Hi Jerry, Tim gets $25 for finding you. First off, I always knew you as "Jerry" while Tim knows you as Gerry, was that another little deception to hide your existence? As we've been looking for you, I suspect that knowing you were a Gerald would really have helped!!!
I suspect many of your old pals (like especially your fellow postal employee Gary Coughlan who I never understood why HE couldn't find you within the USPS) will be interested to hear from you. Actually, Tim doesn't "win" until you write me a letter back for publication in my Diplomacy szine "The Abyssinian Prince". I remember interacting with you best in that game we played in Europa Express back in about 1982.... I could dig up the records, but I want to shoot a quick note off. Jim Meinel did a Encyclopedia of Dip Szines a few years ago and here's what it says about "Winsome Losesome" (courtesy of Fred Davis): "For a couple of years, Jerry Lucas had most of the people in the hobby fooled into thihnking this zine was actually produced by a lady named Judy Winsome. He even drew a portrait of Judy on the masthead. At some point, Judy lost one of her pigtails in some sort of joke. There were stories about the girls' soccer team which Judy coached. I believe Jerry did actually coach a girls' soccer team at the local high school, so he could report on that fairly straightforwardly. Despite the nom de plume nonsense, the games were well run on a timely basis. This was one zine which continued on an almost monthly basis right up to the end. I think it was folded only when its last game ended. The writing style was such that Judy sure had many fooled for quite some time as to her gender."
My szine the Abyssinian Prince is now up to it's 269th issue and the Diplomacy hobby is alive and very, very well. Though now most of it is on the Internet. Hope to hear from you soon.))

Jerry Lucas (Fri, 18 Apr 2003 08:00:30 -0700)

Hey there. Great to hear from you. I was wondering if anyone remembered Winsome Losesome. I was proud of its dependability, but obviously, you take the prize for dependability. Actually Tim has is wrong and you have it right, it is Jerry. The spelling Gerry that you see fairly often now was around when I was young. Jerry Lewis the comic? and Jerry Lee Lewis were the only other Jerrys I knew during my school days.

I didn't coach high school, I coached and later managed a girls soccer team in California Youth Soccer. We won our local league championship every year but couldn't do well in the Northern California play offs.

I remember TAP and you. Would like to see the 'zine. How do I see it on the internet? I still have my old Diplomacy sets and a complete set of Winsome Losesome issues. I've remarried since then and my new wife would say this stuff is strange, but she thinks I'm strange anyway. For many years I traded Christmas cards with Jeff Albrecht who I played with in a 'zine, but that has fallen off now. He lived in South Dakota the last I heard from him.

Take care, Jim.

Jerry Lucas, [email protected]

Brenton Ver Ploeg (Thu, 17 Apr 2003 11:15:33 -0400)

And to think I almost didn't open the April Fool's edition of TAP! I just read it at my desk, however, and very much enjoyed your Winsome Losesome story. I didn't know that even the games were hoaxes, but I never took seriously the possibility that the magazine was authored by anyone without a penis so hoaxing the whole thing seems like a sensible progression.

The hoax was actually blown the first night I showed up (with a somewhat incredulous Doug Beyerlein and his less-than-comfortable-with-the-circumstances wife in tow) at "Judy's" address somewhere near Palo Alto (she had moved there from a San Francisco address that had initially attracted my attention because it was only a few blocks from where I lived while in law school there). Jerry's half-hearted effort to have his wife claim to be Judy on the phone that evening wouldn't have been persuasive anyway...even if she'd been able to control her laughter. As far as Leslie and her (real) roommates, well, not very many fictions are capable of holding together after a couple of questions. And yes, you were implicated by the witnesses, but I figured that telling the whole story was up to Jerry, even though I never met or spoke with him directly. Maybe between you and Jim, you'll flush out his version.

Hadn't thought of tracing Leslie through the marriage licenses, but it would be nice to hit the nostalgia note on birthdays. If you do it, let me know.

Brenton, [email protected]

((Thanks, Brenton, I'm hoping to get more out of Jerry.... Jerry, I need your postal address too, please? A perk of this deal is that you get a free lifetime subscription to TAP, whether you want it or not.))

Jerry Lucas (Wed, 23 Apr 2003 08:48:46 -0700)

It's 1828 Oak Knoll Dr, Belmont CA 94002. Looking forward to it. Thanks.

Jerry Lucas, [email protected]

((I put this next note in here because I asked Gary Coughlan for a reaction....))

Gary Coughlan (Fri, 18 Apr 2003 22:51:00 -0500)

Hi Jim, Good, you and I can communicate so I won't be totally out of touch. ((Don Williams does report that he intends to clear his E-Mail backlog on Friday the 25th and then I hope he gets back to you and Doug Kent about getting your game restarted.))

When I emailed you, I sent Doug Kent an email too. Haven't heard anything back from him yet. I didn't realize it wasn't a "done deal" that he would be the new GM. I'll just await word on what to do.

I'll try to send you something about Jerry Lucas/Judy Winsome. He submitted his picture for those old Europa Express picture contests and that would mean he had a reply that would have been published in response to the EE subscribers' guesses about his picture.

As I recall, his picture was of him inside a locker or a closet. I'll go up into my attic tomorrow and see if I can hunt it down for you........

Thanks for getting back to me.......Gary, [email protected]

INTERNATIONAL SUBSCRIPTION EXCHANGE NEWS

The British representative is the editor of Mission From God, John Harrington. John may be contacted at 1 Churchbury Close, Enfield, Middlesex EN1 3UW, UK.

E-Mail: fiendish of operamail.com, John.Harrington of tfeurope.com

Please include the full name and address of the foreign publisher with your order, if possible, as well as the szine title. Make your check in US dollars out to me personally or in GBP to John if you're doing things from that end. I will conduct business for Canadians as well, if I can, but prefer to deal in US dollars with them if possible, or Canadian dollars cash. To subscribe to American szines, the system works in reverse.

We have added a European continental representative, most of this traffic likely will occur between Ronald Camstra (in the Netherlands) and John Harrington, but if anyone here in the US wants to get money into Euros, we'll try to help you out. Ronald Camstra can be contacted at siedler of zonnet.nl and his home address is: Wielingenplein 48, 3522 PE Utrecht, the Netherlands. But in Holland it is most common not to send checks but to transfer money by bank. Dutch people can pay directly to Postbankaccount 4652247 of Ronald Camstra in Utrecht. Since he can see the name and address of the sender in his bankreceipt, people only have to mention the name of the zine and the editorial address along with their bank order. Ronald is obviously a huge Settlers of Catan fan. If you're interested in playing that game internationally by mail, I think Ronald can help you out.

We also have reopened a branch office of the International Subscription Exchange in Australia!! Brendan Whyte, the publisher of the excellent szine Damn the Consequences will be doing the honors, taking over in some sense from John Cain, who was the Australian rep for many years. You can contact Brendan to sub to Australian szines from the US or to sub to US szines from Australia, converting Australian dollars into American ones. We are now maneuvering deals to Europe from the other reps as well. You can find Brendan Whyte at b.whyte of pgrad.unimelb.edu.au (same university where John Cain works!) or by mail to send checks at: Geography Dept., University of Melbourne, Vic 3010, AUSTRALIA. This should help out my Australian subbers!!

WORLDMASTERS02 SECTION

WorldMasters 2002 Email Diplomacy Tournament First Round is Nearing the END!!

See http://www.cat23.com/wm02 for full details. Since I didn't get sufficient interest to get a team in, I am back on the WorldMasters Tournament Management Committee again. There already is a big flare up between a GM and a player where the player now says he doesn't "trust" the GM, and it's only 1901! But in general, things seem to be going PRETTY smoothly for a tournament that got way overwhelmed with 73 teams of 7 players, for a total tournament player roster of 511!!! Toby Harris has completed another record first round 18 center victory, gee I wonder how THAT happened? And now, I'm facing Toby and others in another "Boasters" game, designed to hold interest between Rounds 1 and 2 of the WorldMasters Tournament. I'm Italy to Toby's England.

DIPDOM NEWS SECTION (with letters)

Obscure and not-so-obscure ramblings on the state of the hobby and its publications, custodians, events, and individuals with no guarantee of relevance from the fertile keyboard of Jim-Bob, the E-Mail Dip world, and the rest of the postal hobby. My comments are in italics and ((double quotation marks)) like this. Bold face is used to set off each individual speaker. I should also make a note that I do edit for syntax and spelling on occasion.

The game Diplomacy is a copyrighted product owned by Hasbro and all reproductions or other use of that material in this szine is intended to be personal use and not infringe on those rights in any way. All reproductions are done at a heavy financial loss to the editor and thus are without the remotest possibility of commercial intent, except to promote THE game, the Game of Diplomacy, which you all should purchase from Hasbro or other duly licensed distributors.

In what I believe is a RECENT change, Hasbro also has been putting the rules to Diplomacy up on their web page along with rules for most of their other games. Not only that, but they have the "current" as well as an older version of the rules there. Stephen Agar has matched that and more with some of the even older rulebooks. Check these out if you like:

http://www.hasbro.com/default.asp?x=cc_gameandtoyinstructions

http://www.hasbro.com/instruct/Diplomacy.PDF

http://www.hasbro.com/instruct/Diplomacy(OlderVers).PDF

Nice of them to make BOTH of these available. And all seven different US rulebooks for Diplomacy can now be found here courtesy of Stephen Agar:

http://www.diplomacy-archive.com/old_rulebooks.htm

Check out back issues of Diplomacy World - www.diplomacyworld.org

As we tried to get together the Fall issue, it became clear to all of us that the current editorial structure has failed. The new issue is almost put together, but needs a new lead editor. Stephen is backing away, I'm not at all prepared to go it alone, and certainly Dave Partridge isn't ready to take it over. But the framework is there. Rather than publish a substandard issue of what we have, let's declare failure and see if anyone cares enough to step forward as lead editor. It probably doesn't help that the new lead editor for the Diplomatic Pouch, Edward Hawthorne, has ten times my hobby energy and is running around like a vacuum cleaner scooping up all the writers (even me, I'm writing for him first, he's SO persuasive!) for the expanded and back on schedule Pouch. I do think there is more than enough room for both, especially since the Diplomatic Pouch is ONLY available on the Web, but if someone else doesn't think so, then so be it.

If you want to subscribe in paper form at $3 per issue, North American subs should be sent to David Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033, USA. Stephen Agar is handling international postal subscriptions and you can write to him at: 47 Preston Drove, Brighton, BN1 6LA, UK. Issues from Stephen will cost you 2 GBP in the UK and 3 GBP for the rest of the world. Or subscribe electronically at diplomacyworld at Yahoo Groups! But I realize that most of you will wait for some notice about the future. Nothing new yet.

See last year's 2002 Hobby Awards ballot at:

http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/BALLOT02.html

See the results at: http://devel.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/ANNOUNCE02.html.

We are now officially soliciting nominations for 2003, for activities during 2002. Think about it, I already have some nominations in hand.

Nominate:

1) People who you think might deserve the Kathy Byrne Caruso Memorial Award for Lifetime Achievement to the Hobby. Last year's award went to the late Richard Sharp.

2) People who you think might deserve the Don Miller Memorial Award for Meritorious Service to the Hobby.

3) People who you think might deserve the Rod Walker Award for Literary Achievement (get me an electronic copy of the article!).

4) People who you think might deserve the John Koning Memorial Award for Player Performance (remember it has to be for playing in 2002).

5) People who you think might deserve the Fred Hyatt Memorial Award for GM Performance (again for 2002 GMing).

All szine editors and people wanting to get rid of archival postal hobby material to productive purpose, should think about sending it to:

Richelle Burkey(Diplomacy Hoosier Arch.)

Popular Culture Library

William T. Jerome Library, 4th Floor

Bowling Green State University

Bowling Green, OH 43403

where lots of excellent archival material is flowing in.

((There is some question about how able or willing BGSU remains in the archives, I think we need someone to leave them a lot of money to wake them up.... money donations are tax deductible! And then, I sent Melissa Nicholson the following note: I'm chomping at the bit to push some publicity for the Boston Massacre. I have insane hopes of getting five or six boards.... but I have to start telling people some details. My postal/E-Mail szine the Abyssinian Prince is coming out again next week and I'd like to say something more specific than "save the date".))

Melissa Nicholson (Tue, 22 Apr 2003 10:17:54 -0400)

Details for Publicity:

:-) Sounds good. The details of the venue are STILL being sewn up *rolling my eyes*... What's happening at the moment is we'd preferably like to get a room in the Student centre. Taylor's friend Rhett has booked one for us, but unfortunately I don't think it's going to be suitable, it has a conference like table which is square, but you can walk into the middle of it. I think it won't really be possible to comfortably fit all the boards so I've written back to Rhett to see if it's possible to get any other rooms i.e. one of Saturday and one on Sunday (all other rooms have other bookings for some portion of either Saturday or Sunday). But that aside it is definitely not a problem to get a classroom for the entire weekend. So if the Student centre is nixed then it will be a classroom similar to where Diplomatic Incident was held. So MIT is definitely the venue, which exact room is still fuzzy.

The tournament will be held on Saturday (2 rounds) and Sunday (one round). No Friday night round so that those that can't take time off work to travel can still get to the tournament OK.

I have booked a bar for Saturday night on the MIT campus. The beer is $1.75 for a pint of Sam Adams, $2.00 for a pint of Guinness. It is the cheapest beer in Boston, and they're allowed to open till 2am. It's also the cheapest rent $50 flat fee, then $8/hr for the bartender. I was hoping they could host the entire tournament but alas they won't open early enough Sat/Sun. ((Spectacular!!! I may have to find Boston accomodations, instead of trying to drive. I can always sleep in one of my two offices....))

On Friday night I thought I might hold a BBQ/games evening at my house for those that arrive that night.

The Scoring System is Detour98F - see this URL for more details:

http://www.daanz.org.au/sc-d98f.htm ((You all should be able to tell, if you haven't been able to tell already, that Mel is from New Zealand and this is a pretty good scoring system, I like it and I don't like too many of them.))

The tournament will have a central clock, similar to World Dip Con. I'll probably allow two 30 second extensions per player.

As for accommodation. Hotels throughout Boston look insanely expensive, so I'm hoping we can billet as many people as possible. The youth Hostel at near Hynes Convention Center has rates $35-$40/night (Dorm rooms fit 6 people). There a couple of hotels with varying degrees of nearness to the venue offering rooms for $160 - $200 / night for rooms with two double beds that can fit upto four people. I'm wondering if it might be possible to sub the accommodation a bit with the tournament fees, I doubt we'll be able to sub all of it. Taylor has a good friend in the Hotel business so that may or may not be able to help.

Hope all this helps. ((Oh, absolutely.... now all you slugs start making plans to get out here!))

Oh and I thought I'd update the MADip-L description to provide a summary of tournament information so you could direct people to

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MADip-L/ for further updates.

:-) M, [email protected]

((We're going to have a great deal of fun and if you don't join us, especially if you live within 500 miles, you'll regret it.))

MUSIC AND MOVIES SECTION (WITH COMMENTS ON OTHER ARTS AND SOCIETY)

Tell me anything you like about the year of 2002 or other recent past in music. List a top two, a top ten, or a top 100, I don't care, just tell me something!!

FOXHEADS STALK THIS LAND!!!

Bruce Geryk (Sun, 20 Apr 2003 19:19:21 -0400 (EDT))

Foxheads do indeed stalk this land! And I would like to ask them What Is There To Smile About?

Bruce, [email protected]

((Why, your Violently Pretty Face, of course! It's a Gunpowder Keg waiting to explode. My Days are Numbered. The cognoscenti know what this means and we don't care to explain to those who are not....))

Warren Goesle (Fri, 25 Apr 2003 15:47:03 -0400)

Ah, Spring! When Jim-Bob once again tells us all how the Red Sox will finally beat the Yankees. Is anyone else reminded of Chang Kai-Shek's annual speech telling his people how Taiwan is going to invade and retake the mainland? From what I've observed, if the Cubs are out of it by June 1st all the Cub fans say "wait 'til next year" on June 2nd, then go to Wrigley Field and cheer for them. If the Red Sox are out of it by June 1st their fans will still argue how they won the World Series the year before, but Fox was involved in a conspiracy to not show it on TV. ((Hardly.... how much time have you spent around here? They are already saying that the Red Sox have no chance, that the Royals (and I note you neglect to praise them and their new manager Tony Pena - a former Red Sox) will win the World Series before we will and you NEVER find anyone with any illusion that the Red Sox have won anything. I'm pretty unusual for the usual "fellowship of the miserable" Boston sports fan.))

So's ya know: I'm moving again. Not sure when, but I start a new job in the far-far-western 'burbs of Chicago on May 12. We're still house-hunting, and will be until this house sells, so I'll let ya know when to change the address for the subscription. I fear that I will be living with my folks for a while, then travelling to Toledo on weekends. Bummer.

Hope all is well there. Goz, [email protected]

((Hey, just don't let it happen for seven years, like it did to me. My folks and I get along great, but I'm much happier to be home every night... well, most nights.))

Steve Langley (Mon, 21 Apr 2003 20:09:37 EDT)

"Holes" === a movie

The book was nearly directly translate to the movie. I guess it helps having the author also do the screen play. There were differences. Stanley wasn't quite the butterball in the movie that he was in the book, but that is too minor a nit to pick. There were a couple of lines in the book that I missed on the screen. One of them might have been too complicated to set up but the other would have flowed perfectly. Oh well.

Stanley Yelnats the fourth has lived a life of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. His father and his father's father were just the same. They blame it all on Stanley's "No good pig stealing great great grandfather" who brought a curse down on the men in the Yelnats family. When a pair of sneakers fell from the sky and hit Stanley it was just more of the same. Stanley's father was working on a cure for foot odor, and so Stanley ran home with the sneakers. Well, actually he was running home when he was stopped by the police and arrested for stealing the sneakers from a homeless charity.

He told the truth and far from setting him free, he was given a choice between jail and Camp Greenlake. Camp Greenlake is a facility that takes trouble youth and builds their character by having them dig holes. There are no guards, no walls, and no water for 100 miles in any direction. And so a truly wonderful example of Magical Realism begins.

There are three stories being portrayed. That of the no good pig stealing great great grandfather, that of the town of Greenlake 100 years ago when there was a real lake instead of a barren desert, and Stanley's own story, where character was built.

Excellent movie. Take your kids, or lacking kids, just go see it.

Steve, [email protected]

((Thanks, Steve, I plan to.... another winning story is the British "Bend It Like Beckham" about a young Indian girl who wants to play soccer. More realistic than Holes, I think, but just as magical in its own way. It reminded how much better My Big Fat Greek Wedding could have been without the sitcom elements. I'd been watching the previews of this one for some months and dashed out to see it as soon as it hit my neighborhood. This next one, I kinda want to see it, but my wife won't go.... she doesn't particularly like comic book stories.))

Steve Langley (Tue, 22 Apr 2003 20:24:58 EDT)

"Bullet Proof Monk" === a movie

"Bullet Proof Monk" is a comic book and the movie is the origin story. It starts 60 years in the past in the year of the Ram in a small Chinese monastery which stands guard over a scroll that contains the words that can rule the universe. The words are so powerful that they bestow eternal agelessness on their guardian. Protecting them from the world and the world from them is a sacred responsibility passed from master to student every fifth year of the Ram.

The movie opens with a really nice martial arts exhibition between two monks on a rope bridge. Enter the bad guys, Nazis with guns. The year is 1943 and one Nazi knows about the power of the scroll and plans to use it to cleanse the world. Flash forward 60 years. A street thief named Kar is running from the police while the monk is running from men in black hunting the scroll. Their paths cross when they both stop to help a child in peril. The monk recognizes in Kar some potential. Despite his occupation, he has a good heart.

Kar knows some martial arts moves. He studies at the Golden Palace, a movie theatre that shows nothing but Chinese films. Kar lives there and practices the moves he sees on the screen.

Jade is the daughter of a top Russian Mafia member who is currently doing time. She has had lots of real martial arts training. She hides her identity when she hangs with the thieves guild. She too sees some potential in Kar.

In fact, just about everyone in the movie seems to know some martial arts. Not terribly realistic, but remember, it is a comic book, so it has a comic book story. But the martial arts were good, the stunts were good, the humour was good. I enjoyed it.

Steve, [email protected]

Steve Langley (Sat, 12 Apr 2003 19:56:40 EDT)

"Spirited Away" === a movie

I was very lucky to have seen this movie. I became aware that it was coming to the USA several months ago when I saw a small blurb to that effect. Then, nothing. There was nothing I wanted to see playing at my favorite theatre this weekend so I looked around and found "Spirited Away" at the fourth theatre I tried. If any of the other three had something I wanted to see I'd have missed a great anime film.

Disney has spared no expense advertising it. They have spent nothing. I'm not sure why. Disney purchased the right to show it in the USA, they went to the trouble of dubbing it in English, they even put their name on it. It comes to us as Disney's "Spirited Away." That's pretty much like the postman taking credit for the Christmas packages he delivers.

But enough. What about the movie. Not bad. Better than not bad. A wonderful tale about a young girl who falls into a magical realm. She is being moved to a new town and a new school, and told that she will make new friends. She doesn't want a new town and a new school and new friends. She wants her old town and her old school and her old friends. Little girls don't always get what they want. Her father is driving them to their new house. I noticed that he drove on the Japanese side of the road but with a USA position steering wheel. Must be tough to judge the cross traffic right turns.

Anyway, he misses a turn and they end up going down a dark unsurfaced road. Dad is sure that it will all come out all right. So he presses on rather than admit he is lost and turn around. The road dead ends at what Dad figures is an abandoned theme park. Rather than waste the trip down the dirt road he decides to explore. "Chihiro" doesn't want to explore, the place gives her the creeps. But Dad pretty much does what he wants. So he and Mom go into the place, and Chihiro goes along rather than wait in the car. Her parents catch a scent of some really good food, and follow their noses to a restaurant with platters of great food and no people. Chihiro doesn't want to get into trouble and so takes a pass on eating. Her parents decide that they have cash and credit cards, so what the heck. They dig in, making figurative pigs of themselves.

Chihiro looks around a bit and meets a boy named Haku who tells her that she must leave before the sun sets or something terrible will happen. Chihiro runs back to her parents, who by this time are literal pigs. Panicked, she runs to escape, but it is too late.

And so a truly wonderful fantasy begins.

Steve, [email protected]

Steve Langley (Wed, 9 Apr 2003 01:53:58 EDT)

"Phone Booth" === a movie

This is a one person show. Colin Farrell is `Stu Shepard' a fast talking sleazy publicist who takes off his wedding ring before calling a young actress he fantasizes about. He lies for a living. He has more nerve and more spin than a politician. He makes a call from a phone booth every day. He doesn't want the call on his cell record. He doesn't want his wife to know about the call.

When the phone rings, he answers it. The voice on the other end tells him that there is a high powered rifle aimed at him. If he hangs up the phone, he will die. Stu tries to put a spin on it, to pay off the threatener with promises.

The two talk. The caller wants Stu to be honest. Stu doesn't actually know what honest is. A difficult situation.

When Stu threatens to call the bluff, he learns that it isn't a bluff. A pimp who wants Stu out of the phone booth is shot and killed. The people on the street think Stu killed the pimp. The caller lets Stu know that if he tries to tell them what is going on, he will die. A very difficult situation.

Collin Farrell made it very real. I've seen him now in three very different roles. He was the `Recruit' he was the petulant super-villain `Bullseye; in `Dare Devil' and now he brings us Stu Shepard who grows from fast talking spin doctor to a vulnerable human being right before out eyes.

Steve, [email protected]

Steve Langley (Wed, 9 Apr 2003 01:33:12 EDT)

"A Man Apart" === a movie

Vin Diesel can be very intense. He plays `Sean Vetter' an ex-gangbanger turned cop. He and his crew are making a dent in the drug traffickers. It's sort of like making a dent in the ocean. They manage to arrest an illusive cartel head, only to have a mysterious `Diablo' step in to take his place. Diablo orders a hit on Vetter. Gunmen come to his house and in the confusion, kill Sean's wife. Sean goes a bit crazy. Very violently crazy.

The actual story has a few logic gaps, but while you watch it unfold Vin Diesel holds your attention and you hardly notice the story flaws.

I am growing more and more impressed with him. Good movie. Not great, not for kids, but well worth the price of admission.

Steve, [email protected]

Michael Hopcroft (Sat, 19 Apr 2003 17:57:54 -0700)

Jim, I thought I might want to update you on what I've been doing lately, since I'm unemployed again and have a lot of time on my hands.

I do not count running my game company as employment. It doesn't generate nearly enough money, and I am regularly cheated out of what money I do make. You can find my basic information at:

http://www.seraphimguard.com

basically I publish anime/manga based role-playing games, usually electronically. I wouldn't mind getting into a PBEM Dip game but I don't currently own a Diplomacy set. The ones from Hasbro are simply too expensive and older sets are too rare. I did get to watch the tournament at last year's Dragonflight in Seattle, although I did not participate. It was fun watching these guys cheat and lie all in the name of good fun and free Microsoft product.

((Hey, I send you maps and you also can get maps with all the province names easily on the Internet. Plus the rules are on the Internet too (see above). David Partridge has a regular Dip opening down below in his subszine.))

Right now my main obsessions in fandom are RPGs and anime, not necessarily in that order. That my games are anime-based is hardly coincidental. My "unmanly" preoccupation with shoujo manga roleplaying has not yet earned me the scorn of the mental health professionals I deal with on a regular basis.

((And why should it?? I don't see any reason for that. You have a personality and you own it. I can't see how any self-respecting mental health professional would do that. But I could always be wrong. The issue usually is how mentally one deals with one's interests and hobbies in relating to others.))

Of course, the question is whether I will be continuing to deal with them. Mental health care in Oregon has been slashed almost to the point of non-existence already, and the final stroke is on the way. Soon I will not be able to get the counseling, assistance and medication that keeps me even mildly functional. In other words, thanks to the venality of the Oregon legislature and the stinginess of the Oregon taxpayers there will be little to distinguish me from a stark raving loon (make that a stark raving loon with diabetes - I was recently diagnosed with the disease, but the state refuses to pay for testing equipment and supplies at all). The crisis line tonight had a great deal of difficulty persuading me not to kill myself on the spot, because the impression I get is that Oregon would be happier if I were dead and damned.

((We care too, you know - I asked Michael if he really wanted this all printed in its entirety and he really wanted it. You all may recall that Michael was very active in the hobby in the mid-late 1980's.))

Being mentally ill is a royal pain. I personally think this is something that does not happen to a good person. Thus all mentally ill people are evil somehow. Treating mental illness with anything other than ball ammunition is a waste of time. (I've been learning about guns, not from practical experience thanks heavens, but from designing a modern-day anthropomorphic RPG. I highly recommend Green Ronin Games' "Ultramodern Firearms D20" to any gamer interested in the various ways people can inflict bodily harm on each other from some distance away.)

I recently had to move to a lower-rent apartment that doesn't even have a full kitchen. My new address is: Michael Hopcroft, 523 SW 13th Ave. #719, Portland, OR 97205

The Blazers, of course, have no chance of getting out of the first round of the playoffs - again. I wish that just once we'd miss the playoffs so we could get a lottery pick. Besides, this team of morally culpable people is not particularly worthy of being at the pinnacle of their profession. Even Paul Allen, the ultimate absentee owner playing with his toys, is getting fed up with this team's off-court behavior. Right now there are five players on the Blazers' active roster who by rights ought to be doing time instead of fighting over PT. And it's really sad for those who still want to see professional athletes as role models.

((Didn't you guys once have Jermaine O'Neal and then trade him in one of the worst deals of the last decade to the Pacers, for who??? Dale Davis or someone like that??? Make a few more deals like that, and you'll be right there.))

The hockey playoffs have been much more interesting to me so far. The Mighty Ducks sweeping Detroit away was quite a shock, as they are a much less talented team than the Red Wings. I'm not even convinced they have such a fantastic goaltender - just that he had a fantastic series. I expect Anaheim to depart in the next round. I'd been following Vancouver and Ottawa all season, and while it looks like Vancouver is done Ottawa is showing a lot of promise. The Senators have a strong Portland link; their star forward Marian Hossa (sp?) is a former Portland Winter Hawk from his junior hockey days. He's darn good.

I signed up for the Internet baseball package and then, all of a sudden, my RealPlayer stopped working. I'm hoping this is just a temporary thing, as I love listening to games from all over the country. Having a broadband connection is lovely - paying the bill is going to be a nightmare, though.

On the sportsgame front, one of my old friends is working on an updated Statis-Pro basketball player card set so that he can get our old league re-started. And I discovered a computer game called Action! PC Football (no relation to the Action! System role-playing game) and have played about two dozen Internet games. It's a great simulation for draft leagues, but for some reason the leagues I'm in have a very hard time holding together. I swear it's not my fault!

Back to the sportsgame front, I understand Diamond Mind is working on a new edition of their computer baseball game. This edition will include full internet play and sadly is only for Windows 95 and above. I guess it needs the long file names. Action! makes a baseball game too, but I've found it incredibly buggy. Still, I miss the challenge of going face-to-face with a fellow coach and letting the cards and the dice decide our relative destiny. The Statis-Pro basketball championship I won in 1993 is still a memory I cherish.

((If you had more money, I would really urge that you join us in John Caruso's baseball league, it really is truly the best one I've ever heard of from my perspective of how I like to manage a team. But I think John is still charging $40. Still, he has two teams that he's running from the league office, so he might let you in cheap or free if you ask nicely. See his E-Mail address up above.))

On the music front, I've mainly been listening to either the classics or J-Pop. Still, I have never and will never play Dance Dance Revolution. It seems beneath my dignity somehow to hop around on pad and pretend I'm dancing.

Michael Hopcroft, Publisher, [email protected]

Seraphim Guard - The Game is Far from Up!

http://www.seraphimguard.com - Publishers of fine RPGs

PS I'm watching the NBA playoffs right now, and a question came to mind - if the 3-point line had been in place in 1977, would Portland have still won the title or would the 76ers have beaten them with long-range shooting?

((My opinion would be that they still would. You think Henry Bibby and Doug Collins would have been that good at being three point shooters? As I recall, when the three point shot finally was put in place in 1979 (?), Henry Bibby (a guy I followed as a fan) only shot about 20% on three pointers. He never was all that good at them, though in that first year he was about the only 76er shooting them. Maurice Cheeks was much better at it, but he wasn't on the 1977 playoff team, right? I'm still leaving the @ signs out of the E-Mail addresses, replacing them with " of ''s, even though I think it doesn't make much sense, I still have comments coming in.))

Michael Hopcroft (Thu, 24 Apr 2003 12:36:05 -0700)

Another thing to bear in mind on this question is that 77 Portland had several former ABA players who were familiar with the 3-point rule. It probably wouldn't have helped Maurice Lucas much (his offense was a bone-crushing inside power game), but Dave Twardzik and Bobby Gross were good outside shooters who could probably have made 35% or more of their 3-pointers.

Michael Hopcroft, [email protected]

John Michalski (Tue, 22 Apr 2003 21:27:30 -0500)

An issue back, you mentioned people scanning the zine for addresses by picking up anything with an @ in the middle. I have a somewhat similar problem with my e-mail name, as advertisers send me assorted crap dumped on anyone with a "dr" in the name: they are looking for doctors! Thus, it occurred to me that perhaps you should put an@sign instead of a space between random words throughout the zine, and let these yoyos send their junk mail to all sorts of nonexistent addresses.

John Michalski, [email protected]

((I've already devoted way too much time to this, humorous responses like John's are OK, but my advice still holds, ignore spam and let it fly.... into your trash can, just where you dump your junk postal mail.))

Mike Barno (Wed, 23 Apr 2003 09:24:03 -0400)

The spam load hitting my work account went from almost none to several every day in the weeks after you listed this claritas account on TAP. I'm adding meta robots tags to all the DC-dot-org pages; and I'm checking with my ISP on a robots.txt file since DC is a top-level domain. Unfortunately, most spiders that ignore the standards for meta robots tags and robots.txt are also the sell-to-spammer harvesters that are most likely to figure out your "at" substitutions. I read the commission report (with last year's test data) but I hadn't done my own tests with different e-mail addresses... until you inadvertently did it with my work account. I don't know what we can do beyond the steps above.

((The ones they mostly get are the ones like "[email protected]" Any yahoo can figure that one out. When you take the @ out and replace it with another word entirely, like of, I think it's safe to say people will be safe. BUT, you know that EVER having things on the Internet leaves an electronic trail that can be traced, so you actually have to change your E-Mail address if you really want to go back to being clean.))

One other word on TAP: boilerplate! Run a comparison on how many words are strung the same from issue to issue... with a lot of them also on the TAP index page. (Of course DC-dot-org is mostly holdover text/links but it's a reference site, not a szine.) You could cut your printing/postage cost, I'll bet, just by trimming most of that to one-liners.

Mike, [email protected]

((The intent is to make it disposable from issue to issue. When the new one comes in, you can toss the old one in the recycling bin, but not throw away boilerplate that you might want..... who knows when you want ISE info, Pouch info, that URL to the Diplomacy rules (yes, Conrad von Metzke, this includes YOU.... ;-), etc. But I agree with you that some judicious pruning probably is in order. Watch out everyone, your favorite boilerplate may disappear or get cut back in future issues....))

THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE GAMES SECTION

"So I called up George and he called up Jim, I said let's make a deal.

He said he'd talk to him. Gonna start a church where you can save yourself,

You can make some noise, When you've got no choice...

You told me useful things, what people think of me, I guess I should thank you.

It's true, then I agree... I'm all alone, I've got no choice,

I'm all alone, I've got no choice."

From "Got No Choice" by the incomparable Mark Cutler, from the CD Mark Cutler and Useful Things.

If you want to submit orders, press, or letters by E-Mail, you can find me through the Internet system at "burgess of world.std.com". If anyone has an interest in having an E-Mail address listed so people can negotiate with you by computer, just let me know. FAX orders to (401) 277-9904 if you let me know in advance to be sure the fax machine is set up.

I am continuing to note cut or failed support orders with a small "s" instead of a capital "S". This will make it easier on the E-Mailed version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. The italics DO show on the web page just fine.

Standby lists:

Bruce Linsey, Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Osuch, Doug Kent, Sean O'Donnell, Kevin Wilson, Heath Gardner, Phil Reynolds, Paul Kenny, and Dan Gorham stand by for regular Diplomacy.

Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Jim Sayers, and Kurt Ozog stand by for the Modern Diplomacy game.

Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF. Standbies get the szine for free and receive my personal thanks.

GAME OPENING INFORMATION

We've got lots of openings in the subszines, check them out!!! Especially, contact Rip Gooch for Railway Rivals as the following maps are available. Following each in parenthesis is the suggested number of players: Isle of Wight (3 or 4); Netherlands (3 or 4); Northern Italy Map P (4 to 8); Spain Map SP (4 to 7); China Mk. I (6 to 8); Austria (3 or 4); Belgium and Luxembourg (3 or 4); Southern Italy Map Q (4); South Sweden Map SWE (3 or 4); Switzerland (3 or 4). Ripping Yarns Mk III will take the form of a tiny subszine in Word as soon as Rip gets some people interested. Come on, help me out!!! Contact Rip Gooch directly at xyropedes of canada.com.

I also am starting a game of the variant I designed, Spy Diplomacy. Signups for that are now open. I'll publish the rules shortly.

You also can sign up for the next Breaking Away game, which is starting now. Tom Howell currently is signed up, knock off the superstar, come on, you can do it!! So far, Eric Brosius and David Partridge want to challenge Tom.

John Harrington is offering to guest GM a game of Office Politics. Any interest in that?? Let me or John know! Jody McCullough is still interested, anyone else?

Harold Reynolds is willing to start a game of Colonia and one of Aberration. I think the signup list for Colonia includes me, David Hood, Paul Rauterberg, David Partridge, John Power, Robert Paquin, Rick Desper, and (Yes, really!!) Konrad Baumeister. That means we only need one more.

Sean O'Donnell is interested in Aberration.

Also, I am going to design some postal rules for Devil Take the Hindmost, and Chris Lockheardt is pulling out of that opening too, so I need three players. Eoghan Barry is signed up. Postal rules from me will be forthcoming shortly, on my never ending to-do list. I will get them in SOON! I'm more likely to get these things started if I see some interest..... Eoghan is getting tired of waiting....

Right now, the other thing I am contemplating getting going is the Modern Diplomacy game with Wings. Sean O'Donnell, Rick Desper, Alexander Woo, Dave Partridge, and Kurt Ozog are signed up for that.

Stephen Agar runs a British Diplomacy mailing list at: http://www.diplomacy.co.uk

and if you are interested, contact Stephen Agar at stephen of meurglys.com or join the Brit hobby mailing list at (aw, you guessed it, another new address): http://www.diplomacy-archive.com/

I CAN'T FIND MY MONEY!: 2001F, Regular Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1905 IS MAY 10TH, 2003

Winter 1904

AUSTRIA (Lockheardt): bld a vie; has a VIE, a TRI, a TYO, a UKR, a GRE, a BUL, a WAR, f ALB.

ENGLAND (Heikkinen): NBR; has f ENG, f BRE, f NTH, f PIC.

FRANCE (Kent): R f bre-GAS; rem a spa, a ruh; has a BUR, a PAR, f GAS, f MID.

GERMANY (Sayers): NBR; has a BER, f BAL, a HOL, a BEL.

ITALY (Méhkeri): has a VEN, f ION, f AEG, a MUN, a APU.

RUSSIA (Desper): R a ukr-GAL; rem f lvn; has a SWE, a MOS, a GAL.

TURKEY (Miller): has a ARM, a SMY, f CON, a SEV.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Chris Lockheardt, 54 Butler Avenue, Maynard, MA 01754, +1 978-897-1547

clockheardt of yahoo.com

ENGLAND: Allan Heikkinen, c/o S.HELEY, 7 / 77 Phillip Street, Waterloo, NSW 2017, AUSTRALIA

aheikkin of ram.net.au

FRANCE: Doug Kent, 1404 E. Lamar Blvd #106, Arlington, TX 76011

dipworld of ix.netcom.com

GERMANY: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA

jimp of magna.com.au

ITALY: Dan Méhkeri, 26 DeQuincy Blvd, North York, Ontario, M3H 1Y5, CANADA, +1 416-631-0492

mehkeri of neon.polkaroo.net

RUSSIA: Rick Desper, 5440 Marinelli Road, #204, Rockville, MD 20852

(301) 977-7691, rick_desper of yahoo.com

TURKEY: Tim Miller, 5454 South Shore Drive, Apt. 222, Chicago, IL 60615, +1 773-834-4597

btmiller of uchicago.edu

GM: Jim-Bob Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327, +1 401-351-0287

burgess of world.std.com

Game Notes:

1) We had some small errors in the adjudication last time. Chris' move of a rum-UKR succeeds since Rick can't cut the support of an attack on himself. That means that Rick is dislodged and can retreat to Galicia or off the board. And that means that Rick only has a removal if Ukr retreats to Gal. And Chris actually has a build instead of being even. All players were notified and orders were submitted for those powers.

2) The GRAFT, the TIGER, and the RAFT all are cast out and rejected.

3) I think Allan and Jim will be returning, at least I hope so, so I will hesitate and not appoint standbies yet. If I think I need standbies because I haven't heard from them by mid-next week, I'll appoint them and notify everyone by E-Mail. If there are standbies, orders ALWAYS can be made conditional on who is playing the position (i.e. whose orders I use). My standby list is taking a big hit in the next game.....

Press:

(RUSSIA): in light of the failure of leadership in Moscow, the reins of power have been handed to the South Park kids, who did such a great job with "Show Me the Money!"

(CARTMAN - > AUSTRIA): Screw you, hippie!

(EXCERPT FROM "THE POWERS WHO HATE BLURBISTS, AND THE BLURBISTS WHO LOVE THEM":

Needy, demanding, insecure, the Blurbist desires more than anything an ally who is communicative, an ally who places the sharing of intimate thoughts and feelings as an alliance's highest priority.

((Does that include one's sexual fantasies....))

At the same time, a Blurbist's innate fear of commitment drives him to court allies who are the least likely to provide this abundance of openness.

((Is this one of the Blurbist's sexual fantasies???))

Frustrated by his own conflicting desires, the Blurbist will lash out at those to whom one would most expect him to reach out.

((Sounds like sex, but I'd better stop there and let the Blurbist get on with it.))

As a case study, we take the unfortunate example of one Mr. B.V. Blurbist (names have been changed to lessen lawyers fees). Constantly complaining to friends and acquaintances of his inability to build an open and communicative relationship, B.V. finds himself by happenstance coming into contact with an old ally with whom he has lost touch, Rich Desperate (see the name thing above).

B.V. and Rich enjoy a blossoming of intimacy, sharing thoughts and feelings about those who have hurt them in the past, including each other. These shared intimacies lead to promises and vows of a touching nature. Things seem hopeful.

But just before a commitment is about to be made, another ex-ally reappears in B.V.'s life. Known for long stretches of heartless silences broken by extravagant promises of communication, this ex-ally, Tom Miller-Lite, steal's B.V.'s heart again with tender apologies interspersed with plays of guilt upon B.V.'s own past untoward behavior.

Once again the sad pattern plays itself out. B.V. places his trust in a questionable promise of communication, while lashing out at the one person who has readily provided it. Without the effort to understand his behavior, B.V. is doomed to repeat it.

Will Rich help B.V. break the cycle? Will Tom finally fulfill his wild promises? With that irresistibly quiet Italian guy send B.V. a wink and throw his whole life into chaos again? Only time and incessant talk-show appearances will tell.

(STAN - > BOARD): we generally think the Blurbist is a hoser

(BOOB to STAN): Interesting.... but do ya think he's sexy???

(KYLE - > BOARD): yeah, a big-time loser

(KENNY - > BOARD): Mmm-mmm-mm -mm mmmm mmm mmmm!

(STAN - > KENNY): Dude, watch your language!

(All kids laugh).

(STAN - > SULTAN MILLER): Dude, give us a buzz. Alliance with Blurbist will get you nowhere. Don't you have any pride? You need to take Bulgaria. Let's set up mutual supports in Moscow and Sev.

(KYLE - > FOOL): Good job defending Venice. The Evil Blurbist will find it tougher to take anything now

(CARTMAN - > GM): I propose a BCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ draw.

(BOOB to CARTMAN): What happened to the A-Hole???

(KENNY - > GM): Mmmm! Mmmmmmmmmm mmm mmm M-Mmmm!

(BOOB to KENNY): What's that, Kenny? They didn't leave you out of the damned draw, did they???

(STAN - > KENNY): Dude! You can't say "A-Hole" in TAP!

(BOOB to KENNY): Yes, you can. Are you alright, are you OK, are you alive???

(KENNY - > GM): Mmmmm!

(BOOB to KENNY): I guess that's the best we can hope for....

SOMETHING TO BE SCARED OF: 2001D, Regular Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR WINTER 1906 IS MAY 10TH, 2003

THE DUE DATE FOR SPRING 1907 IS MAY 31ST, 2003

Fall 1906

ENGLAND (Sundstrom): f nwg-NWY, f HOL-kie, f NTH S f nwg-nwy, f SKA-swe,

f BAR S f nwg-nwy, f nao-IRI.

FRANCE (Tretick): NMR, DAN GORHAM CALLED AS STANDBY; a BUR h, f MAR h, a BEL h,

f ENG h, a GAS h.

GERMANY (Williams): a KIE s a ber, a BER S a kie, a MUN S RUSSIAN a boh.

ITALY (McCullough): NMR, PHIL REYNOLDS CALLED AS STANDBY; f TYH h, a PIE h,

a VIE h, f SPA(SC) h, f NAF h, a TRI h, f MID h.

RUSSIA (McHugh): f STP(NC) S a nwy, a nwy s f swe (d r:fin,otb), a WAR h,

f SWE s a nwy, a BOH s ITALIAN a tyo (nsu).

TURKEY (O'Donnell): f aeg-ION, a ser-BUD, a bul-SER, f WES S ITALIAN f spa(sc), a gal-SIL,

f SEV h, a rum-GAL.

Supply Center Chart

ENGLAND (Sundstrom):

EDI,LVP,LON,nwy,hol,den

(has 6, even)

FRANCE (Tretick):

PAR,MAR,BRE,por,bel

(has 4, bld 1)

GERMANY (Williams):

KIE,BER,MUN

(has 3, even)

ITALY (McCullough):

ROM,VEN,NAP,tun,tri,vie,spa

(has 7, even)

RUSSIA (McHugh):

MOS,STP,WAR,rum,swe

(has 4 or 5, bld 1(r:otb) or even)

TURKEY (O'Donnell):

ANK,SMY,CON,bul,gre,ser,bud,

(has 7, bld 1)

sev

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Doug Kent, 1404 E. Lamar Blvd #106, Arlington, TX 76011

dipworld of ix.netcom.com

ENGLAND: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882 ($5)

Matt.Sundstrom of bbdoch.com or mattandzoe of earthlink.net

FRANCE: James Alan (Jim) Tretick, 1383 Canterbury Way Potomac, MD 20854, (301) 279-0803 ($4)

JTretickGames of aol.com

FRANCE: Dan Gorham, PO Box 90, San Ignacio, Cayo, BELIZE

[email protected]

GERMANY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947 ($3)

wllmsfmly of earthlink.net

ITALY: Jody McCullough, 1071 Brown Avenue, Lafayette, CA 94549-3153

jodymc of sbcglobal.net

ITALY: Standby is Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of yahoo.com

RUSSIA: Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-1998

flapjack of comcast.net or Xatsmann of comcast.net

TURKEY: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230

sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com or seanfodonnell of yahoo.com

Game Notes:

1) Jim Tretick was moving and very busy, so I'm not completely surprised that he NMRed, and Jody was switching to a new Internet Service Provider, so perhaps he is having connection problems. In any case, I've appointed Dan Gorham and Phil Reynolds as standbies. The Winter orders are due on May 10th, I must have draft Spring orders from Jim and Jody by then for them to keep their positions - even though Jody doesn't have any Winter adjustments. Other players may make their adjustments conditional upon who is playing the various positions and submitting orders.

Press:

FANTASTIC VOYAGE: 1999K, Regular Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1911 IS MAY 10TH, 2003

Summer 1911

AUSTRIA (Rauterberg): has a TRI, a VEN, a ROM.

ENGLAND (Biehl): has f EDI, f IRI.

GERMANY (Osuch): has a MUN, a BER, f SKA, a KIE, a MAR, a BUD, a BOH,

a VIE, a RUH, f CLY, a PIC, a POR.

RUSSIA (Tretick): has a PRU, f NTH, a DEN, a GAL, a WAR, f NAO, a NWY.

TURKEY (Lutterbie): has f CON, f BLA, a UKR, f ION, a ALB, f MID, a SER,

a RUM, f NAP.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

trauterberg of wi.rr.com

ENGLAND: John Biehl, #8 - 11530 84th Avenue, Delta, BRITISH COLUMBIA, V4C 2M1 CANADA,

(604) 591-1832 ($7); jrb of dccnet.com

FRANCE: Rick Davis, 2420 West Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95407, (707) 544-5201,

redavis914 of aol.com

GERMANY: Bob Osuch, 19137 Midland Avenue, Mokena, IL 60448, (708) 478-3885

ROsuch4082 of aol.com

ITALY: Terry Tallman, PO Box 782, Clinton, WA 98236, (360) 710 9613, cell (360) 710-9613 ($2)

terryt of whidbey.net

RUSSIA: Buddy Tretick, 9607 Conaty Circle, Spotsylvania, VA 22553, (540) 582-2356 (E-Mail)

batretick of earthlink.net

TURKEY: Vince Lutterbie, 1021 Stonehaven, Marshall, MO 65340-2837

melvin of cdsinet.net

Game Notes:

1) VERY quiet here....

Press:

(Sometimes I Feel Like) FLETCHER CHRISTIAN: 1999Cgh013, Colonia VIIb Diplomacy

Game Notes:

1) The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) proposed draw passed and I still didn't have a chance to do the final Endgame chart. You have until then to do Endgame statements.

2) Harold Reynolds has done a lot of work with the maps and is guest GMing a new game of Colonia. This fits with my desire to have Spy Diplomacy be my next "big" game to GM, so I accept his offer. I also volunteer to get it started by signing up to play. There are nine players in the variant, could Harold give me an exact count of how many are signed up? Also, Harold ran a test game with Konrad Baumeister, Dave Partridge and Paul Rauterberg that you could look at on his website. See the note above about the Diplomacy A to Z, which also is there.

Press:

SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 1913 IS MAY 10TH, 2003

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1913 IS MAY 31ST, 2003

Spring 1913

ENGLAND (Sayers): f LON h, a GAS S FRENCH f mar, f NAO S f mid, a KIE S FRENCH a mun,

f MID h, f ENG S f mid, f HOL h, f POR S FRENCH f spa(sc).

FRANCE (Sasseville): f MAR s f spa(sc), f SPA(SC) s f mar, a MUN s a bur, a BUR S a mun.

GERMANY (Barno): a tri-SER.

RUSSIA (Reynolds): a MOS h, a LVN S a mos, a BER S FRENCH a mun, f BAL S a pru,

a STP S a mos, a PRU S a ber.

TURKEY (Linsey): f ion-ALB, a UKR S a war, a WAR S a sil, f WES-spa(sc), a SEV-mos,

f TYH S f gol, a SIL S a boh-mun, a TYO S a boh-mun, f NAF-mid, f TUN-wes, a PIE-mar,

f GOL S f wes-spa(sc), a gal-BUD, a BOH-mun.

Addresses of the Participants

ENGLAND: Jim Sayers, 15 Holdsworth Street, Woollahra 2025, AUSTRALIA ($10)

jimp of magna.com.au

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($0)

roland6 of cox.net and ICQ: 40565030

GERMANY: Mike Barno, 634 Dawson Hill Road, Spencer, NY 14883

mpbarno of lightlink.com

RUSSIA: Phil Reynolds, 2896 Oak Street, Sarasota, FL 34237, (813) 953-6952

preyno of yahoo.com

TURKEY: Bruce Linsey, PO Box 234, Kinderhook, NY 12106

GonzoHQ of aol.com

Game Notes:

1) The FREGT draw is rejected and then reproposed. I had no complaint, so I've granted a request that we go back to where we were on the voting, which was this: (1) Some of you have "perpetual draw votes on this proposal on file", those are still in force; (2) Some of you do not and have been voting every season, for you if you FAIL to vote it counts as a yes vote for the proposal.

Press:

(GERMANY to WORLD): "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." - Dwight D. Eisenhower; so vote for the 5-way draw to save the suffering children, please!

EDWARD TELLER: 2002?rn42, Nuclear Yuppie Evil Empire Diplomacy - Black Hole Variant

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1904 IS MAY 10TH, 2002

Summer 1904

AUSTRIA (Kendter): has f ADR, a BOH, a SER; and nuked VEN, TYO, ION, TYH, APU.

ENGLAND (McHugh): has f LON, f EDI, a WAL; and nuked PIC, MID(2), ENG, NTH, NWG(2).

FRANCE (Kenny): has f BRE, a PAR, a MAR; and 5 nukes unfired in their silos.

GERMANY (Schultz): has f KIE, a BER, a MUN; and 5 nukes in their silos.

ITALY (Rauterberg): has a TRI, a TUS; and nuked AEG, WES, MID(2), NAO, NWG(2).

RUSSIA (Muller): has f STP(SC), a MOS, a WAR, f SEV; and 4 nukes unfired in their silos.

TURKEY (Andruschak): has f ANK, a SMY, a CON; and 5 nukes unfired in their silos.

Current Standings

TOTAL

JOHN SCHULTZ

PAUL RAUTERBERG

KARL MULLER

HARRY ANDRUSCHAK

LEE KENDTER, JR.

JACK MCHUGH

SANDY KENNY

Black Holed

Neutral

Totals(eventually)

238

Times GM Nuked

Whole Frelling Game

Addresses of the Participants

John Schultz plays on in our memories....

Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339

trauterberg of wi.rr.com

Karl Muller, 3154 East Lydius Street, Schenectady, NY 12303-5035

karlmuller of alumni.lemoyne.edu or pegandkarl of mindspring.com

Harry Andruschak, 734 West 214th Street, Apartment 12-A Torrance, CA 90502-1907

(310) 533-8945, harryandruschak of aol.com

Lee Kendter, Jr., 1503 Pilgrim Lane, Quakertown, PA 18951

lkendter of speakeasy.net

Jack McHugh, P.O. Box 427, Claymont, DE 19703, (302) 792-1998

flapjack of comcast.net

Sandy Kenny, 23 East Coulter Avenue, Collingswood, NJ 08108-1208 (609) 869-3160

KennyShire of aol.com or possibly sakenny of net-gate.com

Game Notes:

1) A couple of adjudication notes.... when you guys nuke the same province more than once, I put in parentheses the number of nukes that hit that spot. Also, if your move to a space succeeds and THEN you are annihilated, I capitalize the first letter of that space where you are annihilated. The reverse happens if your move bounces where I capitalize the first letter of the place you started.

2) The rules I have been using for this game have been that there are no replacements or standbies. Nukes for the positions John has will remain unfired in their silos. None of his units will move or support anything. They can be attacked and dislodged and his centers can be nuked. John could win the game this way, conceivably, but likely would not.

3) Note that Karl Muller has a new address, he did notify me of that, see note below.... but he still hasn't sent orders. You guys can send Fall orders even if you didn't submit Spring ones!!

Press:

(ITALY to AUSTRIA): Your nuke in Venice could still end up hurting you more than it does me.

(KARL MULLER): Several things I have to announce:

1. Peggy birthed our son, Brian Alexander Muller, at 6:47 p.m. yesterday (3/31). He was a big one, weighing in at 9 lbs., 3 oz., and was 20 inches in length. As last time, Peg did not have an epidural or anything like, though it was by her choice this time. Mommy and baby are doing very well. Katy met Brian for the first time this afternoon, and she seems really enthusiastic about having a brother, wanting to know when it was her turn to feed him, change him, etc. We can only hope that continues. Discharge will be tomorrow morning.

2. I have left my position here at Schloss & Co., therefore, this address is no longer valid. See the next two points.

3. We are about to move, and our new address will be: 3154 East Lydius Street, Schenectady, NY 12303-5035. The more geographically-astute among you will realize this is nowhere near our current NYC residence. ((The geographically astute among you ALSO will realize that I grew up in Schenectady, but the other end of town a fair way - perhaps ten miles - from Lydius Street. Congratulations Karl and family, and now we are SURE that Karl won't resume publishing his Diplomacy szine, but perhaps we might get a few orders from him. We'll see.)) We are re-locating northward to the Albany, NY region; the house is actually in Guilderland, but the post office is in Schenectady. We expect to move by May 1. There's no phone number yet, though you can certainly e-mail us and we'll give it when we get it (see next point). I've already got a job (starting 5/5), and Peg is completing applications for teaching positions even as we speak in the hospital (hey, she's good).

4. Because we don't know if we can get high-speed access from Earthlink, we're not sure if we'll be keeping our current e-mail address. Therefore, effective immediately, please use the following to reach Peg or myself: [email protected]. This is a forwarding address that will bounce it to whatever we eventually end up with. So don't just REPLY to this message; you'll have to edit the TO field. Yeah, what a pain. Well, that's enough news for now, I suppose. Best wishes to all... - Karl

FEAR AND WHISKEY: 1998Ers31, Modern Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR SUMMER 2011 IS MAY 10TH, 2003

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 2011 IS MAY 31ST, 2003

Spring 2011

BRITAIN (K. Ozog): a fin-SWE, f nth-LON, a lap-EDI, f NWG C a lap-edi,

f bal-BHM, a mur-LAP, f brn-ARC, f gob-BAL.

EGYPT (J. O'Donnell): f CAI S f eme, f LBS S SPANISH f mal-ion, f EME S SPANISH f mal-ion,

f ion-APU, f apu-VEN, a SYR S a irk, a esa-LIB, a IRK S UKRAINIAN a irn-ada (nso).

GERMANY (Rauterberg): a SIL S a cze, a SAX S a aus, a MUN S a aus, f PRU S f gda,

f HOL S f eng-nth, f GDA s BRITISH f bal-lit (nso), f BRI h, a ven-MIL, a PAR h,

f eng-NTH, a AUS S a cze, a CZE h, a lyo-SWI, f BEL S f eng-nth, a ROM S EGYPTIAN f apu-ven.

SPAIN (S. O'Donnell): f sog-SAO, f alg-TUN, a BOR h, a NAV S a bor, a MAR h,

f BIS S a bor, a NAP S EGYPTIAN f ion-apu, f mal-ION, a MON S a mar.

UKRAINE (Partridge): f sev-WBS, a ANK S a ada, a GRE h, a SER S a cro, a mos-GOR,

a STP S a mos-gor, a EST S a stp, a KRA S a slo, a pod-BIE, f ist-IZM, f izm-ANA, a gor-URA,

a SLO S a kra, a WAR S a kra, f ALB S f adr, a ADA S f izm-ana, a ura-SIB, a HUN S a slo,

a LAT S a lit, f AEG-ion, a LIT S a war, f ADR S f aeg-ion, a IRN S a ada, a CRO S a hun.

Addresses of the Participants

BRITAIN: Kurt Ozog, 391 Wilmington Drive, Bartlett, IL 60103, (630) 837-2813

heyday6 of yahoo.com

EGYPT: Jeff O'Donnell, 402 Middle Ave., Elyria, OH 44035-5728, (440) 322-2920

or (440) 225-9203 (cell) ($2)

FRANCE: Harry Andruschak ($5) Tapmdfrance of aol.com

GERMANY: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221, (414) 281-2339 (E-Mail)

trauterberg of wi.rr.com

ITALY: Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138, (360) 691-4264 ($3)

ElfEric of Juno.com

POLAND: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($5)

roland6 of home.com and ICQ: 40565030

RUSSIA: Randy Ellis

SPAIN: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230 ($3)

sean_o_donnell of hotmail.com or seanfodonnell of yahoo.com

TURKEY: Kent Pollard, 1541 W. San Jose, Fresno, CA 93711, (209) 225-0957 ($10)

UKRAINE: Dave Partridge, 15 Woodland Drive, Brookline, NH 03033 ($8)

rebhuhn of rocketmail.com

Game Notes:

1) I'm going to start a quiet interest list down here in the next Modern game. I don't want to start it until this game is done or nearly done, but with ten players it may take awhile, so I'll start now. Rick Desper, Sean O'Donnell, Dave Partridge, Alexander Woo, and Kurt Ozog are in to be five of the players. Any more??? We are going to do it with "wings". But we do need official wings rules, which I seem to be unable to locate. Can anyone assist me there?

Press:

(THE MEKONS QUOTE OF THE MONTH): Takes an issue off, gotta get this sucker in the mail, don't have time to find one....

(NOTE TO BLACKFIRE): I just don't see how!

(BERLIN to KIEV): Looks like you've finally got that coalition against you that you've been working so hard to achieve.

(KIRK to STARFLEET): Things aren't going well, all I can do is hold. Even Spock is bored.

(SPAIN-BOARD): Which way did he go George which way did he go?

(UKRAINE-JEFF): I'm going to get you my pretty and your little Nephew too, by the way, my nephew beat up your honor student.

(JEFF to JIM): I respect Germany not going to Iraq with us. I would also respect France not going except they seem to be going beyond their right to free democratic resistance to the Iraq mission. They seem to be actively helping the Iraq regime in ways that even the UN would not approve. And for that, I feel they are open to ridicule.

(JIM to JEFF): Fair enough. Consider yourself explained.

(JEFF to JIM PS): I'm not sure going to Iraq was a bright move, but supporting Iraq???

(GERMANY-UKRAINE): You want a piece of me?

(JEFF to SEAN): Sometimes I read my Star Trek press and say to myself, wow, my writing really sucks! However, I must also say that all of that Star Trek black press that you have been doing really sucks. PS: Next time you black press a message from Turkey to Uncle Jeff, try doing it from the Sultan to "oh mighty Pharoah". Kent would never talk to me as an actual person.

(UKRANIAN AMBASSADOR to TURKISH AMBASSADOR): Rest assured, ambassador, that we have treated your country with the utmost respect and now rejoice at having finally succeeded in driving the Egyptian dogs from your fair shores. The war goes on and your wishes will ride with us!

(JEFF to WORLD): I really hate the Yankees!

(EGYPT-UKRAINE): The Egyptian Emperor reborn.

(KENT POLLARD to UNCLE JEFF): I've decided to talk to you like an actual person, ae you ready? Your Star Trek press really sucks and so do you!

Personal Note to You:

File translated from T_EX by T_TH, version 3.30.
On 25 Apr 2003, 18:33.